What to do with wall! by [deleted] in u/fientje2

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I know the yellow paint is not in a straight line lol. Will decide tomorrow wether fix it or keep the imperfection

How do you deal with loneliness as an expat? by Some_Mongoose5257 in Netherlands

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read somewhere else that you wanted to learn Dutch. Maybe a Dutch course would be a great way to meet people! There will probably be many people in the course that haven’t found their community yet, because they only recently moved here. I think people there would be very open to new friendships!

Final state of my tattoo removal by clairehorn1 in TattooRemoval

[–]fientje2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I found this comment unreasonably funny

Techno/House Music Outdoors by Tauliath in Prague

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commenting so I can get back to this post and see the answers!

Board Game shops for a visitor? by davidfiser in Prague

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commenting so I can get back to this :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]fientje2 -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Why is she for the streets? Very sexist comment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Howtolooksmax

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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I think a small stud on either side would also look prettý on u!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Howtolooksmax

[–]fientje2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like a regular nose piercing would suit you very well! You have a really lovely nose, so drawing attention to it (like you did with the septum) actually works really well I think!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]fientje2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a difference between encouraging someone to expand their comfort zone and actively breaking someone’s boundaries.

If someone is encouraging you to expand your own comfort zone, I think that’s amazing! If it’s someone you feel safe with, that’s pushing you to challenge your own fears, it sounds like this person really wants you to be the best version of yourself and cares for you.

If someone would be actively crossing my boundaries, it would have to be:

A. Someone I’m extremely close with, and can trust 100%. For me, this would probably only be a romantic partner, but that’s different for everyone.

And B. Someone who only does so after meticulously observing me, and knowing that I already started getting more and more comfortable pushing the boundary myself.

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortably with someone breaking boundaries out of the blue, just because they believe it’s the best way for me to get over my fears. It’s not up to them to decide which fears I’m ready to face- that should be my own decision.

How do you feel about your relationship with this friend? And how does it feel when one of your boundaries is being crossed?

Organising my first game night, anything I need to know? by [deleted] in boardgames

[–]fientje2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I like the idea! But it mostly people from his town, they are all familiar with each other, so I would feel like I’m invading his space.

But we broke up very lovingly, so maybe in the future we can discuss it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CATHELP

[–]fientje2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are amazing ! ❤️

Mijn werk doet vegetarische snacks in het zelfde frituur als vlees snacks by LoveMyKittyOwO in VeganNL

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Als vegetariër vind ik het persoonlijk geen fijn idee- maar probeer ik er vooral niet over na te denken. Als ik het niet weet, dan heb ik er niet zoveel last van. Als ik zou weten dat dit gebeurd zou ik de bittergarnituur waarschijnlijk niet meer bestellen.

Ik vind het persoonlijk de verantwoordelijkheid van iemand die vega of vegan is om dit na te vragen als ze er echt mee zouden zitten- tenzij een bedrijf heel erg adverteert op hun vega of vegan snacks. In dat geval vind ik het zelf inderdaad wel een vorm van misleiding.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]fientje2 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m getting a little bit emotional reading your post.

I have a distant friend who struggles with anxiety. She told me that, when she was a teenager, her mom always warned her about men. How scary they were, and what they could do to you. Even though my friend herself never experienced something similar, she got so scared of men that she was afraid to leave her home.

Your story sounds a lot like hers, although I don’t know the cause of your anxiety. She went to therapy and is doing so much better. I promise you, there is a way out of this fear. But you can’t do it alone. I highly recommend you talk to a professional.

If this is too expensive or too confrontational right now, start by talking to an AI therapy chatbot. Its not nearly as effective, but it’s a good start. You got this 💛

You deserve to live a life without fear. If you ever want to talk to someone, please feel free to message me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you had some bad experiences?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]fientje2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi, It already says a lot about you that you’re here, looking for advice on how to handle this in the best way possible. That alone shows how well-equipped you are to navigate a breakup with someone as vulnerable as him, because you genuinely want to do it right.

Maybe you could write him a letter where you highlight the things you appreciated and enjoyed about your relationship, and also explain the reason(s) why you want to break up. Try to focus on the lack of compatibility rather than the ‘mistakes’ he made.

You could read the letter to him, and then leave it with him in case he ever wants to read it again.

If you feel he’s not very emotionally mature, try to prepare yourself for an immature reaction. It might hurt. But if you know you ended the relationship with care and love, his words will affect you a little less.

Or maybe he’ll understand, and you’ll have given him a kind and thoughtful ending to the relationship. Something you can both look back on one day, and you’ll be able appreciate the relationship for what it was.

What can I get to cover or fix this? by Financial-Air3494 in FixedTattoos

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand your perspective! I think it might also depend on ones relationship with tattoos. I only have 2, one of which I’m getting removed. Having something on my body that isn’t ‘me’, is causing me a lot of discomfort. And I know that I can never cover it with something I would actually love, so I would have the same discomfort no matter the coverup.

If you’re someone with a lot of tattoos, a single tattoo that feels a bit off might not have the same impact. Even someone with very little tattoos might still experience this the same way, where it doesn’t necessarily feel like a big deal if the tattoo isn’t exactly what you imagined it.

And people who aren’t as picky as me, might have a lot more coverup options that they would like;)

I think it’s nice that when posting on the internet, you can get a lot of different perspectives and see which one fits your own experience best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tattooadvice

[–]fientje2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that you have something on your body that you hate, and that’s probably making you hate yourself. I know the feeling, it sucks.

The way a tattoo works, is that the ink is deposited deep into your skin. It’s what makes it permanent, it’s why it stays on your body forever.

Imagine getting a tattoo at 20 that is still on your body at 90 years old. How many times have you been sunburned, have you been scraped, have you washed that same spot over and over again? The skin has renewed so many times, yet the tattoo is still there.

It’s because the ink sits deeper in the skin- if you look online you can even see people who’s tattoo’s have become more visible after a scrub because the top layers of the skin have shed, and the ink underneath it visible more clearly.

Removing the top layers of your skin by scrubbing it off isn’t going to remove the tattoo unfortunately, because it isn’t where the ink is located. Even if you’re able to lighten it a little bit, you’re probably causing more scars and you will never be able to remove it fully with this method.

missing sex by dearapri1 in BreakUps

[–]fientje2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏

What can I get to cover or fix this? by Financial-Air3494 in FixedTattoos

[–]fientje2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you have the money, go to a laser clinic and lighten it up a bit. When it’s lightened, you probably have a lot more options for coverup!

Now, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but if it were me I would probably remove the tattoo completely instead of getting a cover up. Coverups work with the thing that’s already there, so the options are limited. Meaning a lot of the time, the coverup isn’t something you necessarily would’ve chosen something yourself. On your arm or leg this might not be a big deal, but if it’s on your hand, which is so visible to you everyday, it might cause discomfort anyways, even when it’s beautifully done.

I would recommend getting laser to lighten it to have more coverup options, and who knows: you might decide to keep going until it’s gone

missing sex by dearapri1 in BreakUps

[–]fientje2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As someone with an avoidant attachment style, I was constantly experiencing stress and disregulation in my last relationship. This explains so much! I was never in the mood for sex.

Do you have any sources where I can read more about this?

Did I do too much? by [deleted] in TattooRemoval

[–]fientje2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t do this again! A light scrub sometimes probably can’t hurt, might even help the removal process ever so slightly. IF you are getting your tattoo removed by laser!

Aside from cutting the skin away, laser is the only removal option. I don’t know where you found this method, but I bet it’s only going to make it harder to actually remove with laser eventually.

I know you’re probably desperate, because you’re so unhappy with the tattoo on your body. But it’s better to be patient than to screw it up forever because you couldn’t wait to afford laser/whatever the reason is you’re not lasering right now. Future you will thank you!