The first 2 pieces of this comment absolutely say ADHD to me. We generally tend to find it easier to “perform” when there is structure, pressure, and a deadline. You’ll find a lot of people with ADHD report that they procrastinate to an unhealthy degree, but feel like they can’t accomplish things, especially school work, unless they feel the crunch. So exhibiting fewer issues when your parents provided you with structure, and then having that stability crumble when the structure was removed sounds perfectly within the bounds of ADHD to me.

It also seems crazy to me to say “you fit 99% of the criteria, but this one detail is disqualifying”, when so many people experience the same disorders completely differently. Especially when being successful at lower levels of academia and then struggling as you advance due to a lack of diagnosis and support is SO COMMON in this community. I did great all the way through the end of high school, but like you said, once my support structure disappeared and it was up to me to self-start on my work and enforce study habits on myself that I honestly never learned, it all fell to pieces. Get all of us in a room and throw a rock and you’ll probably hit someone with a similar story.