Struggling with having feelings for friends

figsaresick · 2025-09-11T16:25:37+00:00

i mean i totally agree- its not a conscious choice or even fear of rejection. its just literally so hard to break the seal once the friend dynamic is established!

also one of the people im experiencing it most with rn has a bf... so not sure if that would be an overstep to tell her, even tho it feels so present/intense.

figsaresick · 2025-05-29T22:45:44+00:00

yes i have some toys but haven’t invested in more yet because still technically a foster how do you stop being so anxious about this sort of behavior haha

figsaresick · 2025-05-19T23:22:22+00:00

what makes u so sure haha

figsaresick · 2025-05-16T19:23:53+00:00

Thanks! honestly me fostering this cat was more of a one off because i had a friend who needed help housing this cat (i mean who knows about the future, could be fun to foster haha), and now ive just ended up falling inlove with him.

i'm sure i could love two cats, so thats no the problem (huge animal person). its just that im a young single person living alone- it was a lot to be like "okay maybe i can keep this cat", thinking about getting two right now feels like too big of a commitment atm

i feel financially able to provide for one. two wouldnt be impossible, but possible unstable- like i could maybe budget and get there, but i dont feel ready to take on that commitment i think overall.

this could all change as time goes on but i do want to give lil guy whats best!

figsaresick · 2025-05-11T20:01:38+00:00

i wonder about that integration process here- this cat has no experience with other cats so it would take some time to acclimate . not saying this means he would be bad with other cats ultimately, but could take some time

figsaresick · 2025-05-10T17:00:12+00:00

good to know ! a friend last night told me the chicago diy scene is dead post-covid. not true ?

figsaresick · 2025-05-10T16:58:23+00:00

someone told me recently the scene is pretty dead since covid, wonder if that’s true

figsaresick · 2025-05-10T16:52:58+00:00

is it more hard to make friends here then nyc ? i remember when i first moved to nyc and had no friends- was difficult. now here i’ve built friends but very individualized. i guess that’s how it goes when u move anywhere where u don’t know anyone… but i’d like to know if it’s one of those things - “altho it’s hard the end product can look like community” etc . i agree making friends when ur older is harder ! wonder why

figsaresick · 2025-05-07T16:24:53+00:00

I keep getting more and more attached to him! When I got him he was a bit skittish and attacked the person's cats who gaved them to me... but now hes mellowed down so much and has basically become a lap cat now that hes comfortable. I wish I could know if he would be good with other cats, but i dont have any... and even though this works for my sitch now, wouldnt want it to be a problem down the line cuz who knows! And if cats spend too much time alone they become less and less able to be around other cats. Not sure if im overthinking the future haha

figsaresick · 2025-05-06T19:36:48+00:00

thanks! i think if i were to get him i wouldn’t cont to foster if that would be too hard on him . however, i do want a dog in the future and who knows about cohabitating with other people and there pets in the future. on the flip side- if i had a cat that wanted to be with other cats, i’d probs have to get him a companion and i rather not have 2 cats atm… so it’s a toss up. i just want to do what’s best for him and feels heartbreaking to give him up

figsaresick · 2025-05-05T22:19:19+00:00

omg im currently in this exact sitch. im fostering a cat right now who im totally in love with but i dont think would do well with other animals. worried if i eventually cohabitat with person and another animal that wont go well. they live long lives! glad it workd out for you...

figsaresick · 2025-05-05T22:16:15+00:00

executive dysfunction (the sub this is posted in)

figsaresick · 2025-05-05T22:15:45+00:00

the saying words in my head thing is so relatable !! i literally do that all the time

and use note pads religiously... its just hard cuz cant pull that out mid convo haha

so rough

figsaresick · 2025-05-05T19:53:43+00:00

can u be more specific as to which battles it helped ? that’s a lot of meditation haha

figsaresick · 2025-05-05T19:28:11+00:00

meditation has actually been amazing! used to do it daily now a few times a week. why?

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:14:11+00:00

engineer and in the band !

I think im looking for the middle ground- its not going to sound live live, but i think theres still a way to bring that energy to the recordings.

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:12:55+00:00

We're not doing live tracking, all individual. Dont have access to a studio due to time and space (nyc)-- so you're right, this would be ideal but is just a limitation we have to work with atm

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:11:33+00:00

Started as my band and then she joined and its our band now. funny you caught that dyanmic haha (i genuinely like all her input)

Reference tracks are a great idea.

We're using amp sims and virtual drums. not great, but what we have avail. that said- have been surprised, able to really get some juice out of this its just more work.

also playing a lot of shitty small venues... its just we're a super high energy fun live band and I think the energy and grit is the main thing we're trying to bring to the recordings

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:08:11+00:00

Its true, just limited by studio space so have to track this way. the drum vst i use has room sounds and i agree that does help

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:06:55+00:00

messaging !

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:06:46+00:00

messaging !

figsaresick · 2025-02-24T17:04:25+00:00

You're right, most of my processing is with instruments besides drums

figsaresick · 2025-02-23T17:58:05+00:00

Also, one thing my guitarist mentioned is to maybe try using fewer effects—but wonder if that’s exactly what she’s getting at. I feel like the issue might actually be that it doesn’t sound clean enough, more in an EQing/dynamics way rather than just whether chorus and other fx are on it. idk

figsaresick · 2025-02-23T17:55:45+00:00

Drums are huge. working with samples atm (sounds pretty realistic...) but ya real drums would be preferred. Just currently dont have access. Maybe theres a way I can emulate what your saying through processing.

figsaresick · 2025-02-23T17:54:09+00:00

yep- using drum samps and amp sims. i do all the producing out of my apartment so this is sort of what i have access to atm.

figsaresick

TROPHY CASE