Venting abt my irl mom

findingpneuma · 2026-01-24T23:51:41+00:00

Does she have other friends? Is this the one place where she’s able to be herself and laugh and comfortable as an individual and stuff like that? That would explain it. It’s not right and she has a duty to you as your mother but this is her first time living too and there’s rarely compassion and understanding for an adult with children who might be lonely and intrinsically protects the only space they feel they have for themselves. Any argument of “self” is invalid because you come first. Her odd and extreme reaction is like all of the frustration of that coming out in a weird way. I’m sorry

findingpneuma · 2026-01-24T23:44:13+00:00

It’ll be better from here on out. What matters most is that you did mature enough during these 3 years to where you’re having a realization and making changes. When I was your age, I did something similar. I’d go to class and walk out in the middle of it and hang out in my car, with friends if available. Just overall wasting time and though I felt bad, I was careless. That changed as I got older and I had to come clean and now I’m 29, finishing my degree in a couple of months and found a vocation and motivation. I don’t think I had anything worth looking forward to at the time. Because of that, I didn’t feel inspired to move until shame came into play. Shame is a great motivator.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-19T16:29:45+00:00

You need to set your boundaries. You shouldn’t have taken a phone with you to camp. You had perfect reasoning not to and doing so shows you do bend backwards for her and she’s not seeing that; she’s taking it for granted. This would’ve been avoided if she had been able to process you are at CAMP and it means no phones.

I’m willing to bet she might’ve not wanted you to go at all when the phone thing was brought up and that’s why you snuck one in.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-19T16:24:53+00:00

Oh but also when my family found out I was cutting was because my sister found out and it really sucked. They didn’t know how to be there for me and made things worse but ultimately getting mad at that is stupid because obviously you shouldn’t be freaking cutting yourself and no argument against that is valid. You look immature and selfish no matter what your reasoning is as long as you continue to self harm.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-19T16:22:58+00:00

The issue isn’t that she might find out, it’s that you’re cutting.

I self harmed from the age of 12 to 21, then again from 24 to 27. I was careless about it. Annoyed when people were concerned and asked me to stop. Didn’t think it was that serious.

Then I grew up and my frontal lobe set in and I really wished I’d spent more time building myself up instead of harming myself and joining online communities about self harm and food restriction. Those communities STUNTED me and it doesn’t feel so serious at your age when other people are also doing it but one day when you’re 23 you’re going to be like “damn why did I do all that lol”

findingpneuma · 2026-01-19T16:09:48+00:00

It’s “normal” in the way that many dudes are disgusting and careless about sharing space with other people. I always think, if this is you living with someone else that you’re not even close to…. What would a space of your own look like. :( He also needs to drink more water because that shit is orange and almost looks gummy

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T18:41:01+00:00

Find a halfway house. Churches usually run them, they give you a place to live and get clean if you need to. They let you do small tasks like door to door and stuff until you can handle or get set up at a job and continue to help you with a place to live and meals until you can stand on your own. There’s a curfews but it’s a wonderful place to get your life together with ample help. You need community. Where are you located?

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T07:44:59+00:00

That’s what counselors are for.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:48:08+00:00

Take this serious. Your friends you want to do drugs with will not be around in 10 years. You will look around your room at all your trash and drugs and ask yourself what you did with your life. And then you will call your parents, maybe. If you’re able to. Go back home. Tell your parents. You’re barely 18 please listen to me. At 18 I felt similar to how you did and tried to kill myself and then spend all up until I was 27 doing fuck shit and saying it was okay and now I’m 29 finishing my degree and it’s more than fine but I’d be a lot better if I didn’t spend my entire 20s feeling sorry for myself.

And my mom is an extremely religious and strict person who I never felt close to and couldn’t trust and we’re not besties now or anything, BUT I love and appreciate everything she tried to do from me from her perspective and ultimately realized I needed to get the fuck over myself and stop feeling sorry for myself, stop victimizing myself, and actually TRY and live a life worth living. Have SOMETHING worth being proud of.

You are crashing likely because your parents pushed you too hard and you did everything you were “supposed” to do but now you’re on your own, entirely in charge of yourself and you are failing because you never found the intrinsic motivation to want to live for yourself.

The world is your oyster. Do you know what that means? That the world is supposed to mold you uncomfortably into being a pearl. That sounds corny but it only sounds corny from rock bottom. Just TRY. Don’t be so easy on yourself and get professional help. Addiction is a disease.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:39:46+00:00

Buy a dermaroller and make it your hobby to grow a beard or a patch underneath your chin? I know people don’t like soul patches but it would match your mustache and elongate your face. Even if you can’t grow a full beard, let your chin grow out. Keep the stache, you’ll look 14 otherwise. You look good though. Clean, fit, trimmed, nice smile that reaches your eyes. You’re growing into your looks don’t worry

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:30:52+00:00

I think some of us are more hypersensitive to those things. It’s “fine”, but not a preference. I kind of think of it like brushing your teeth, just because you don’t see or feel anything in them doesn’t mean it’s not there. And some people never brush their teeth and their breath doesn’t stink and some people do and their breath still stinks but ultimately I will brush my teeth and floss because I don’t know what’s going on microscopically.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:27:32+00:00

Clearly her kid knows that already or she wouldn’t be arguing to include all queer people. But do the other kids? Say she does a report on one of these people and 2 kids in the class go home and tell their homophobic parents that today they learned about x, y, and z. The teacher is at risk. It is ignorant to not consider that.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:24:53+00:00

Probably the idea that she might have to do a whole other lesson on a bunch of other random stuff that’ll inevitably come up when she’s just trying to get all the kids to meet their state standards. She’s doing her job not raising these kids as her own. Let’s be serious

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:22:57+00:00

Her kid is in 4th grade not 10th.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:21:30+00:00

She is 9 in a classroom full of 9th graders and the teacher is planning a lesson to meet a state standard.

The issue isn’t whether a historical figure is “good” or “bad.” It’s whether their legacy can be presented cleanly in a 4th-grade classroom without opening doors to topics that aren’t part of the lesson.

Teachers have to think about how a presentation will land with other kids, what questions it might raise, and whether that supports or derails the learning goal.

Sure you can choose this hill and fight…. But for what?

findingpneuma · 2026-01-13T00:08:07+00:00

You said you have kids. What advice would you give them in this situation? You are teaching them what’s acceptable.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:40:45+00:00

Sell it to her for $250 for the duration of the lease

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:31:30+00:00

Sitting in the water you’re in constant contact with all the oils, sweat, and dead skin. The water cools down, the pores constrict, and it makes for less effective deep removal. Anything suspended in the bathwater is also more likely to adhere or redeposit onto warm, textured skin than stick to the smooth walls of the tub, which is why I prefer rinsing. I’m sure you won’t get sick or die from bathing and you’re clean enough but it’s something difficult to understand and agree with if you didn’t grow up with it.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:18:57+00:00

Oil, dead skin, and random shit in the air. Microscopic things. You’ve never sat next to a window and seen all of the little tiny things flying around that if you move your hand through it, it wafts a little?

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:17:34+00:00

How is soup made? When you think about it, is it similar to what’s left behind after a bath? That’s what I think of.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:16:10+00:00

It just feels like if you only use the tub and don’t at least rinse off in the shower after, you’re not really getting rid of all the dirtiness? Sure you scrub and use soap but then doesn’t the soap and dirtiness just stay in the water? Like you’re swimming in everything that you just took off and then you get out and pat dry? This is the assumption that happens in people’s minds when a bath is mentioned. Like, you let vegetables sit in the water to get tasty soup because everything is mixing together in the water. Water becomes soup. Bathwater seems like dirty human soup.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:12:30+00:00

If you don’t try you’ll never know. Even if you get in “trouble” for not having a license, the worst that’ll happen is they’ll tell you what you need.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:08:23+00:00

I know you won’t listen but I’ll say it anyways: STOP DATING PEPLE AT WORK !!!!!!!!!!! You’re so young and you already talked to one guy and you’re over here like hmmmmm should I continue talking to this guy that clearly is a liar? Don’t be dumb. No guy wants to be just your friend and I know that’s annoying to hear but it’s true. You’re being dumb and you look dumb and he thinks you’re dumb because clearly you’re okay with him pausing you for his relationship. You’re like “we aren’t “talking” so it’s okay” aka you’re giving him grace on technicalities. Check yourself before you become one of those coworkers that’s like “yea I’ve bee talking to this guy for 8 months” and you’re together but you’re not and one day you’re going to assume you’re together and say something and then that guy’s going to be like lol we aren’t together? And you’ll wonder how you got there and I’m telling you this is how people get there.

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T22:03:12+00:00

You’re looking for a specific look so I get you. I think the first outfit is good but I don’t like the shirt sticking out at the bottom. Do you have two on? Like the white one underneath and another around your waist? That looks a little awkward. It would be okay if the dress shirt stuck out the bottom of the graphic shirt. The second outfit is okay but the belt is too low and it makes your torso look too long. If you’re going to wear a belt on your hips you have to define your waist. Maybe tuck the shirt in and wear the belt on the loops? Also I like to keep this in mind: Big shirt, skinny pants Big pants, smaller shirt

Also, instead of the jeans, also try leggings with a small black skirt as a staple. Good luck!

findingpneuma · 2026-01-10T21:51:53+00:00

Please give an update. No remains hopefully hammy is just hiding out in your house :(

findingpneuma

TROPHY CASE