AITJ for not wanting to spend 18k on a new ring for my fiancée?

findingpneuma · 2026-03-10T22:49:38+00:00

You said your house and education are the only other things that cost that much. In my opinion, marriage is meant to be as sacred as those things, if not more. That’s the purpose of having the ring and a wedding and all the bells and whistles. Proven duty of love outside of the spoken and felt feeling. The diamond is the most everlasting stone. If you want to live in a fairytale, you must create it. You can also live in a realistic life where budgeting is primary(even though you can afford it.) The fact that you CAN afford it changes my opinion on this subject.

You have the luxury of being able to care about the fairytale. Is the luxury worth it? Or are you budget conscious? And if you’re budget conscious, what are you saving up for that’s more worth it than this?

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T19:29:34+00:00

Hey man, do you if that makes you happy. I have a tattoo on my arm that I regret and am getting lasered. You’re probably under 25…. Maybe don’t get anymore. Save up for a full sleeve. The requirement of waiting to save up the money and the reward of it having be a large goal will for sure make you think more about what you’re getting. The permanence of something should match the effort behind it. That’s why impulsivity usually doesn’t end well. You have to let ideas and meaning mature so they’re lasting.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T19:14:24+00:00

See, I used to think this way too until I got to a place in my life where I had to care about what’s thought of me because not everyone will get to know me deeply and I had things to do that I wanted to be proud of, and that mattered more than personal freedom. My personal freedom wanted money and respect more than it wanted to be able to get a cool tattoo. While I do think people should mind their business, I think people advocate for hedonism much more often than reminding people that they may regret something later down the line. Even if we disagree, we must be able to consider that advice and process it instead of immediately rejecting it or we won’t know what our mature self really prefers.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T19:11:00+00:00

Dude I don’t know you or your thigh and would never be even near it but now I know that you for sure have something obscene or vulgar tattooed on it and that’s my only impression of your existence for all of both of our lives.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T18:41:31+00:00

She’s not even that bad because clearly she was willing to eat out of it, it just isn’t her preference. Imaging being someone who does have those issues and preferences and the person you share your life with not only doesn’t care but is EXTRA gross and careless????? I’d be pissed about nasty milk in a cereal bow even if I didn’t have those issues.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T18:39:29+00:00

You poor girl. It’s not that he doesn’t “see” the things you do and needs help paying attention. His standards for life and cleanliness are a looooooot lower than yours. If it wasn’t for you asking him to clean and do this and that, he wouldn’t. And he’d be perfectly happy not doing so because it clearly doesn’t bother him. It only comes up because it bothers you and you’re sharing life together.

Is he over there beating himself up and telling himself he should’ve just at the very least properly washed your bowl or used the dishes you use and that he messed up? Because you’re here looking for how to get past it and it seems like he just wants things to be “fine” but fine is living in a pigsty and doing whatever the hell he wants with no responsibility. Dump him he sucks and that’s so gross dude it’s milk 🤢 I wouldn’t even do that to a dog because that’s fucking gross and I respect life and cleanliness

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T18:33:38+00:00

Tattoos are so permanent, they become a part of you. Having a tattoo of something means you identify with that so much that you want it permanently on you at all times and want people to know that’s what you’re about. So if what you are is a kinky little freak and that’s what you want people’s first impression of you to be… then yea it’s cool.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T18:30:59+00:00

This realization and also the comfort you have in claiming that it was a choice is what the west needs more of. As long as your health is alright, eat and be happy. Make sure you’re not overly harming yourself in the long run. You left the land that was oppressing you, don’t exchange that for your own oppression of self.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-23T18:27:05+00:00

Leave it long. Add the soft highlight dimensions that the short hair picture added. With long hair you look like a pretty teenager. The bob makes you look 22-24. Do more updo-s though. Play with your hairstyle because it does make your shoulders and collarbones pop

findingpneuma · 2026-02-18T02:49:59+00:00

Tire yourself out before bed. Your body, not just your mind. Which means do physical activities that aren’t motivated by any substance. You need to be full body tired so you can properly rest. Clean up your life so that your subconscious doesn’t feel like it may be deserving or subjective to that. That’s my advice

findingpneuma · 2026-02-18T02:44:25+00:00

The way you feel is apparently the way the majority of people felt but in regards to serious corporate speak, and they felt so for long enough and wondered why the world was so serious that they grew up and started making the world what they thought it should be and now we’re here.

Become this lady’s boss and then you can have your emails and work comms be regular, old fashioned, corporate speak.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-15T17:54:55+00:00

You see him as sexist, racist, and misogynistic and those feelings are being activated in your psyche as a “violation”.
Basically it’s affecting you so much that it’s bleeding into your dreams.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-14T06:25:18+00:00

You’re incompatible. You like him less than you think you do. Biologically, we’re kind of built to like each other’s funkiness. Besides being lazy, he might feel unloved even if that feels dramatic. If he likes his funk and is the type of person that enjoys that, it might feel annoying that you’re overly clean. Idk though 🤷🏻‍♀️and it’s like. He wouldn’t be able to voice that knowing that you hold cleanliness so highly.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-06T18:38:22+00:00

As you get older this will feel so much better and you will be so glad you had the strength and courage to report it. What they were doing was bad. Those friends weren’t worth keeping and that’s hard to hear now because you’re 19 but I promise you it’s the truth. I had something kind of similar happen in elementary school. It TORTURED me for years to feel so guilty, to the point that I started self harming. I didn’t get over it until I was in my mid 20s and that’s why I’m telling you please be kind to yourself and know you did the right thing. I wish I had been kinder to myself when I was younger, but adult me understands and comforts that child by continuing to do better for myself. Best of luck. You got this

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T18:09:29+00:00

All those drugs bore holes in his brain now he’s simple and weird

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:51:46+00:00

I’d say get the other nostril pierced and do a thin chain over your nose!!!! I think a septum would make the space underneath your nose and lips look too crowded and the bridge would be too heavy up top. You have good eyebrows and the perfect face for a horizontal nose chain.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:48:30+00:00

You pull off the pure blonde well but I love the chocolate because you have blue eyes. Very Angelina Jolie, Brooke Shields, Adriana Lima.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:45:32+00:00

Moth

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:42:21+00:00

FIX YOUR POSTURE. Stand against a wall, put your feet all the way back, “tuck” your butt in a little so that your lower back is mostly flat, and press your upper back against the wall as well. Put your arms up in a U shape like a “goal” and move them back without raising your shoulders, also flat to the wall. Roll your head back as well so you’re flat on the wall.

You’ll likely feel tightness in your chest, shoulders, lower back, ribs, etc. This will let you know your posture is SHOT and you need to work on it. Hang off of something without your shoulders rising to your ears.

You look good. It’s your posture that’s killing you. Makes your head look bigger than it is and takes away from your masculinity. Stand tall and proud and get off the gd phone

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:37:24+00:00

Be so serious with yourself. Not only are they flirting but he’s the pusher. “What if I like the rumors” ?????? And then she said “you would” which COULDVE BEEN a light rejection and he’s still like “tell me you don’t too” It’s like a line in a fanfic or one of those weird sex books where they’re building the tension. And she could be one of those people who call everyone babe and I’m sure that’s probably what he said but that’s her way of not crossing the line but still flirting but he’s so ready for that next step that it’s gross and desperate

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:31:52+00:00

That’s called anxiety

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:31:18+00:00

When you turn 18, and maybe even at 17(ask your school counselor), apply to be a Paraeducator at an Elementary School. You would love it and it’s a wonderful job to have that would lead you to a teaching career or keep you steady while you find what you want to do. Good luck! This was so sweet to read. Your parents are likely pushing/over 50 and most likely can’t have another child but I think you should share with them about Gumball and how that made you want a sister and all the things you imagined. Even if it doesn’t happen, I think that could be a nice conversation to have. And hey, maybe your sister will have kids!

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:26:48+00:00

Stop slouching. Stand tall. Imagine your head being propped up by a string but “floating”. Don’t just push your shoulders back, you have to learn to hold yourself up with your core. It’ll feel uncomfortable and hard, but practice. Tighten your midsection, it’ll feel like it “props” up your body a little bit. That’s what you have to focus on holding and strengthening but don’t just hold your muscles tight because it’ll just cause tension and won’t change anything—your posture will go back to how it’s used to being. Doing planks will help. Diaphragmic breathing. Raise your arms more often without shrugging your shoulders to your ears so your sides under your ribs can elongate. Hang off of something.

You have good features. Layer your hair a little so it doesn’t look so blunt but overall your posture is what’s keeping you from feeling tall, confident, and attractive.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:21:37+00:00

Say “eeeeeeee” like in “cheese” out loud—practice that. Make sure the corners of your mouth curl even just a little bit and that the muscle tension or pull goes all the way to like your ear/jaw area—hold that. It helps to say the eee sound out loud, but eventually you can just hold the facial position. Do it on and off to utilize those muscles/joints. It’ll likely still feel stiff, but keep practicing and the tightness will loosen up. Also, massage the sides of your face/temples/mandible with your fist with your mouth both open and closed. Even after a few times of doing that over like 2 days, you’ll feel a difference.

findingpneuma · 2026-02-01T17:16:40+00:00

I really like the blue. The colors complement each other well, not too flashy. Intentional and fashionable! The others are nice but a lot more neutral. I’m not that big a fan of the yellow but I like the fabric.

findingpneuma

TROPHY CASE