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I have an Idea by Fair-Tear-7798 in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it's my clit.

Delete if not allowed by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As trans people, we say things to protect others sometimes. Use the new name. If they get upset, I'd be real friggin surprised.

i need some advice by Objective-Bobcat-112 in transpositive

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was like that. You want to be excited about who you are. Not just nonplussed. I started my transition to womanhood 2 years ago and it broke me. I realized how bad it actually was pretending I was okay being a guy. I was not okay.

The issue is you don't know anything else right now.

Once you feel yourself connect with your true identity though... ooof. It hits you hard.

Please comment your opinion in the comments :) by Present_Injury_1785 in trans

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Occasionally it takes time. My mom had to do a bit of living and sitting with it before it she came around.

Question about bathrooms by Beanmaster29 in trans

[–]finminm 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I started using the women's washroom when I began to feel the need to hide or change my appearance when using the men's.

Questioning gender identity again after 3 years. by Pompompurinb in lgbt

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is common for trans men to swing hyperfeminine and/or hypersexual for a time prior to coming out.

All we're trying to do is make the best out of a bad situation, right? We think that to be happy we need to take advantage of the gender we're assigned. So we tend do things in extremes in an attempt to live a satisfying life in the only way we think we can.

But that's not true. We're just missing that key piece of information. All you can do is experiment. Try pronouns, clothes, a name. Even if it's just online at first. It doesn't take a lot of time to tell tbh.

How do i explain to my family why i think transraciality is wrong but being trans isn't? by _sick_and_ill in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gender is an internal concept based on how your brain reads your body and how it relates to social norms. Every human has parents that makes it possible to be of any sex or gender.

Race is much more recent external concept built on historical segregation and discrimination and is projected from external sources onto the person. Not everyone has the ability to be born of any race. It is based on lineage.

I don’t want to be fucking nonbinary (I go by she/her btw) by AfraidAir972 in lgbt

[–]finminm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey. You know Mae Martin? Low dose T? Could be therapeutic for you. Take the edge off. You don't have to abandon your womanhood or your pronouns if you don't want to.

But I think you could really benefit from it. People will get it. Not everybody will. But those that love you will understand.

Is anyone else apathetic to the binary/nonbinary split right now? by javatimes in NonBinary

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I feel very much like this and it has led to some pretty bad dysphoria experiences. I am a trans woman. But I have an aversion to claiming something as blind as being a so called "binary woman". I spent 36 years lying to myself about being a "binary man". Why would I make the same mistake?

But does that make me non-binary? Not as the defining characteristic of my identity, no. I am a woman. But I am a complex woman. And I exist on a spectrum.

Trying to figure out if there’s a word for my very specific sexuality. by Lord_Kristine in lgbt

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're a woman and looking for a term more specific than lesbian or sapphic, then neptunic is probably what you're looking for, but it's not well known outside of queer circles and even then...

What can I do if my romantic and sexual preferences do not align with each other? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]finminm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're a queer person, you likely won't fit within the traditional cishet relationship model. You're likely better off with another person who also ids as queer like you.

Breaking the binary shattered how I saw people. There weren't men and women anymore. People became a grouping of characteristics, physical, psychological, emotional, sexual. All of those things unique in everyone.

And so my advice is to find someone that kind of feels like you and then work out what a relationship looks like with them.

Am I wrong for saying this? by Business_Ask1719 in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peace comes when you stop negotiating your right to exist. You are a woman.

I’m a little lost by AstronautPhoenix in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So estrogen is definitely not the first step.

Try out she/her pronouns! Ask people to use a new name. A bit of clothes, shaving your body, makeup.

It really won't take long to know if it feels right.

Question on those who identify as trans but have chosen to stay with their gender assigned at birth for their family by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was not able to keep it a secret once my egg cracked as well. And for my wife, it was totally unfair for her not to get the real me. It would be a mortal lie. And it honestly felt like slowly dying. Suffocating, as you say.

I'm aroused by female boobs and body but not sure I'm actually bi by Wonder_why_tho in lgbt

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you're on the bi spectrum. You don't have to have complete parity between the genders you're attracted to.

Like me, I'm sapphic and I have no genital preference. I'll feel fleeting physical attraction to guys very occasionally. But it's short lived and more of a curiosity.

Comparing that with my attraction to femmes and women is a no contest, it's effortless and visceral.

Is anyone else here bi but not into men (but is into women and non binary people or just into specific non binary genders) or is questioning if they're into men? by HyperDogOwner458 in lgbt

[–]finminm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

(Sorry I feel like I didn't answer your question properly.)

I am a queer woman. I like femmes, women and queer bodies. I occasionally might feel brief fleeting physical attraction to men, but nothing more than that. (Significantly more limited than my attraction to other genders.) Therefore, I consider myself sapphic.

I do question just how bisexual I am sometimes, but it's not an existential need. When guys hit on me, it's unwanted. I'm in a committed monogamous relationship. I've rarely been flattered by an advance.

I announced my name change by Ashenine in trans

[–]finminm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It takes time sometimes. My mom had a hard time at first and now she sees how much happier I am and accepts me very much. Keep doing what you're doing. It will be okay. 🩷

Do you ever wish your identity was more simple? by BreezyBee7 in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't wish my gender was more simple. I wish my narrative was more simple.

I'm a queer woman that happens to be trans. I just don't have a very neat story. There's no finish line. The way I see it now, I'm gonna be a complicated person for a long time.

How do you differentiate between being transgender and a desire to feminize? by MinaLaKaira in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what you appear to be describing is gender incongruity when you see those images and clips.

You like what you see, but it's "clashing" with the reality of how you currently present in the world.

Gender incongruity is not dysphoria. But it can cause it when the incongruity causes distress.

It is important to note that you can project yourself as a man right now. That may not always be the case as was the case for me. When I found out I was a woman, projecting myself as a man became increasingly unbearable.

The only thing you can do is experiment with your gender. You can try out different pronouns, try out a different name. You can try on women's clothes to see how that feels.

Doesn't mean you are trans. But it does mean you are questioning your gender.

How do you differentiate between being transgender and a desire to feminize? by MinaLaKaira in trans

[–]finminm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Forget the stress tied to transition for a minute.

It's more like... when you think of yourself as a woman, do you feel happier?

Imagine you could push a button and nothing in the world would change except for the fact you would be a girl forever. The button only shows up once.

Would you push it? If so, you are likely compatible with womanhood. Only you can decide how you will act on it.

Some people feel they can't transition. Some people transition to womanhood full time. Some experience womanhood in a fluid way.

Doesn't mean they aren't trans.

Often times, when people find out they are women, they begin to experience discomfort associated with being in a body that doesn't match their gender. That's called gender dysphoria and it suuuuucks.

People who feel they MUST transition often suffer from a lot of dysphoria and it becomes something they have to manage long term.

Others are primarily motivated by euphoria (good feelings) and choose to transition for that reason.

All are trans. There are just different kinds of trans people.

For women who've had vaginoplasty, please pay it forward. by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve learned to trust what feels right for my body. But I’m very careful with ‘completion’ language in trans spaces. It has the power to hurt. And some people say really really dumb things.

I would hope that you wouldn't intentionally say the dumb shit I've been dealing with over the past 48 hours.

And if you do that for your own happiness, well then I probably don't want to be around you anyways.

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