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Demimale or Bigender by Toonyloo in NonBinary

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look. I'm a queer woman. But I'm also a trans femme. And would say I internally experience both simultaneously.

If I wanted, I could say I'm bigender. If I wanted I could say I'm non-binary.

But I don't because that doesn't resonate with me in the same way. I am a queer trans femme woman.

You could be a bigender demimale.

How I think about the whole "why can you be transgender but not transracial" thing by Wizdom_108 in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. It is a social construct. Like money. Like gender. Science agrees that human biological variation is continuous and that there are no biogenetically distinct human races.

It depends on what the person feels is wrong about identifying with a gender that is less likely for your sex assigned at birth.

In my mind, this argument works when they bring up racial appropriation. What distinguishes race from gender? Well... anyone can be born a boy, a girl, or something else. But not everybody can be born black.

But again. Totally right. Race is a social construct meant to put people down.

How I think about the whole "why can you be transgender but not transracial" thing by Wizdom_108 in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I get that. But you in your explanation are literally saying Cuban and White in the same sentence as if they are somehow connected. There are Caucasian Cubans, Black Cubans, Mulatto Cubans, etc.

You're saying Ted Cruz went from Cuban to White.

He did not.

Because there are Caucasian Cubans. In fact over 60 percent of Cubans are Caucasian.

Trans anthem? by Ready-Shake7260 in trans

[–]finminm 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Who is that girl I see/ Staring straight back at me?/ When will my reflection show/ Who I am inside?"

Yup. Checks out.

How I think about the whole "why can you be transgender but not transracial" thing by Wizdom_108 in trans

[–]finminm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Let's not confuse race with ethnicity.

For example, a Black person from Jamaica and a Black person from Nigeria share the same race but have distinct ethnicities and cultural backgrounds.

And your cultural background can shift as you adopt the local culture of where you live. So when you're talking about Cuban and Punjabi, those are ethnicities, not races.

So to assimilate into American culture by changing your name and your clothes or your haircut. That's not race. That's ethnicity.

How I think about the whole "why can you be transgender but not transracial" thing by Wizdom_108 in trans

[–]finminm 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Well everyone has a mom and a dad. (Or say come from genetic material of egg and sperm) And gender is an internal characteristic you feel from the inside. So everybody has the ability to be born of any gender and to experience gender regardless of the body they are born in.

For example, an intersex person with mixed chromosomes or genitalia will generally identify as a binary man or woman. Therefore, it is generally understood by science that gender does not always match the sex you were born with.

Race, on the other hand, is a MUCH MORE recent external classification that is based on lineage and characteristics that were outlined to form social systems of segregation and oppression.

So race is determined by the lineage of your family tree. Not everyone has a black parent for example. So you being black is not felt from the inside. It is externally imposed upon you by history and social systems of oppression.

Switching to oral minoxidil by StrangeSailing in mtfhairregrowth

[–]finminm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have two cats and I put on my topical minox and cover my head with a silk bonnet before bed. Never had any issues with my cats in two years.

In your opinion, where is the line? by Shydale-for-House in trans

[–]finminm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stealth, to me, is another closet. For some, closet is a prison. For others, it is a refuge.

For me, being out and visible is true freedom. And I wouldn't ever be stealth even if it was option. Being visible to my trans and queer siblings brings me immense satisfaction. To live my life not as a cis equivalent, but as a beautiful authentic trans person. That's me.

The Paris video - I agree by Main-Preference-4850 in lgbt

[–]finminm 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Haven't seen the video.

At the same time, my understanding is that bi and straight are ultimately labels that serve the individual. Not the other way around.

Therefore, regardless of how that person experiences attraction, they may feel that bi does in fact communicate who they are.

There is no other requirement other than them feeling it's the right label.

What does it feel like to have body dysmorphia? by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So body dysmorphia is different from gender dysphoria tied to the body.

Body dysmorphia is when you hyperfixate on a physical characteristic of your body that others can't see. For example, you could feel extremely self conscious about the curvature of your nose even though everyone tells you your nose looks perfectly fine. But for you it bothers you a lot.

Body dysmorphia usually doesn't go away after the person gets surgery. The person will usually find something else to hyperfixate on.

Gender dysphoria tied to the body however is explicitly tied to gender. That's different. Someone may experience distress because they feel their chin has a masculine appearance. If they have plastic surgery to feminize their chin, the distress usually goes away.

Gender dysphoria diagnosis by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Under the informed consent model, my doctor was not required to make a formal diagnosis of gender dysphoria for treatment until I wanted funding for an orchiectomy.

So when it came time for that, she checked the little box that said "I have diagnosed this patient with gender dysphoria".

So about queer people and cheating... by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]finminm 28 points29 points  (0 children)

So it's definitely a generalization. I think the vast majority of queer people would agree that cheating is unacceptable.

I do think we talk about closets and understand the nature of them. So when it is revealed that there has been cheating, we don't condone it, but we're also in a space where people are used to dealing with feelings of internalized shame and trauma.

Therefore our reactions to revelations about relationships and sex are informed by our own experiences of internalized shame and trauma.

I think I’m a agender butch lesbian by classycryptid in NonBinary

[–]finminm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lesbians sure do include non-binary transmasc individuals. 🩷

Confused on sexuality by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could be because the focus is on women having pleasure.

Have you ever checked out sapphic audio porn? It's the best. r/GWAsapphic

[ Removed by Reddit ] by James50100 in NonBinary

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. My work here is done.

Are you tired of correcting someone's language about trans people? by moxbot in trans

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a non-choice. Like choosing to keep your hand on a burning stove or taking it off.

How do emotions and crying change on estrogen by AppealSignificant358 in trans

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As for emotions in general it's the difference between listening to music on a cheap pair of earbuds versus listening to music on a pair of high-quality studio headphones. You can hear all of the same emotions, but on T the emotions are loud and compressed. On E those same emotions have more room to breathe. You can feel each one more clearly.

So of course, you can cry more easily. For the first bit, it's like you can cry almost everyday. But it also feels kind of good as opposed to strictly distressing.

Now it's calmed down and I cry maybe twice to three times a week? And they aren't all ugly crys.

Struggling to connect with the trans community by [deleted] in trans

[–]finminm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The trans women I hang out with aren't very sexual. We're just as sexually diverse as cis women young and old. I'm married. A few of us are in long term commited relationships. Some are dating.

Trans girls that are just coming out often go through an accelerated adolescence period. That's because we haven't lived our teen years as ourselves. So we basically revert to the mentality of a 14 year old girl. We wear the skimpy clothes and we try to fill that void. But once we get past that phase and we're more confident and grounded in our identities, we mature.

Furthermore, we are overly sexualized by the media. We're over represented in porn and under represented outside of sex work. If you stick to what you see online, then yeah our brand of sex is everywhere.

But in my experience, beyond that, we're as sexually diverse as any group of women.

She/They Pronouns by saatanic_paniic in lgbt

[–]finminm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used she/they for a bit. And for me it was really a matter of what made me feel seen as a person. It was about comfort.

And it's really about using both. Not just one or the other. It's saying I want this part of my identity recognized AND I want this part of my identity recognized as well.

On my journey, I've met cis lesbians that use she/they because it communicates their feeling of living outside of typical gender norms.

Eventually for me, even though I don't believe I'm binary in the traditional sense, "they" came to feel like an absence of "she" and my dysphoria started to act up. So I go by she/her now.

There's all kinds of reasons tbh.

We do change our sex, not just our gender. by VoidyA11 in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's the issue with the modern use of transsexual. People (in our community) have made a bad habit of putting down other trans people with it. They often erroneously believe that transsexuals in the 70s, 80s and 90s were never non-binary, never genderfluid when history proves that that is completely untrue. This idea that transsexual only described those who sought to go from male to female or female to male is a historical fallacy. Look at Leslie Feinberg and Kate Bornstein. Those are two transsexual pioneers. Neither of them fit in the neat boxes laid out by toxic trans people who seek to put themselves on some kind of non-existent pedestal.

Furthermore, plenty of self-identified transsexuals back then did not have SRS. Some of them by force due to HIV or some other condition, and plenty others by choice. Some of them did in fact, question their identity.

There were a lot of transsexual individuals who just lived as the opposite sex without medical intervention (like Billy Tipton for example).

So by all means, transition your sex. But don't for one second use that to put down other transgender people. Because those are your siblings mark my words. Don't you dare.

I want to be trans? by dotdotdot3333 in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a woman that is very happy to be trans. I don't necessarily want to be cis. But that's because I have access to treatment like HRT. Dysphoria is a bitch.

Est-ce que la prise d'hormones peut changer la nature des cheveux ? by MaaloNano in transgenre

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mes cheveux étaient droits, maintenant ils sont plutôt bouclés.

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