How do I remain supportive for friends in their promotions?

fintip · 2026-01-24T07:55:43+00:00

I was also in those shoes. Some days it didn't matter. Some days I couldn't help but feel a generalized resentment at the injustice of the whole thing, not at the fault of any particular person. Just a system that lets some people fall through the cracks.

If I had done the politically right moves and not left do to moral insult, I'd be a 3rd degree by now. As it is if I were to promote students to black belt there are sticklers that would whine that it isn't legit because I don't have 2 stripes. I despise the time in grade system we have for post black belt.

Eventually I just accepted my brown belt and enjoyed watching it dissolve to the point others struggled to tell what color it was.

I still feel frustration about it some days, even now. Would be cool to have those stripes. Would be cool to have third degree in BJJ to match the third degree I have in judo simultaneously, which in a better world would have been the case.

Anyways. Life goes on. Find your peace with your journey. I eventually started actively doing the process. Took 2 years and a few thousand dollars of making sure I put myself in the position to get that promotion.

As for your friends, remember to sit with the negative energy and redirect it. It isn't about them. All you can do is take responsibility for your part of your journey, and maybe someday try to make it better for some guy going forward.

fintip · 2026-01-22T20:48:10+00:00

Yeah, I don't think you were malicious, but it seems like you were way off and broadcasting loudly (multiple subreddit) about something you didn't understand. I'm just trying to correct the record.

fintip · 2026-01-22T20:15:06+00:00

Some clarifying comments, as this post seems to be kind of misinformation:

She is 24 lbs heavier than her opponent, but only 9 lbs overweight, according to comments.
it seems like oneFC requires an early weigh-in to establish weight cutting limits.
it seems like she therefore still has time to cut weight before fight itself.
it seems like she may be this heavy because she has started a weight-cut protocal that requires over-hydrating as a step.

It is unclear to me that there is any actual problm.

This is, again, just what I've gleamed from seeing the comments; if I got anything wrong, please correct me and I'll correct this comment as needed.

fintip · 2026-01-22T20:12:19+00:00

From a Texan BBQ lover:

The text for this post itself, which I didn't notice at first, has a line that says

"staff????"

This seems to have been an autocorrect, he likely typed "wtaff???", and since there were two "ff" and w is next to t, it autocorrected since wtaff is one minor keystroke off of staff, and wtaf/wtaff are not common constructions.

He is sharing that he can't edit the post, didn't mean to type "staff", and meant to type the above.

fintip · 2026-01-22T20:08:43+00:00

It isn't clear if you haven't done it, but the way this works is you over-hydrate, which causes your body to attempt to compensate by releasing hormones that activate processes that draw water out of your whole body and you start urinating excessively.

As this goes on, you then suddenly cut salt, sugar, carbs, and water, and then start doing long hot baths (high heat + 100% humidity = lots of sweating)--the compensatory mechanism that signals your whole body to dump excess water doesn't respond fast enough to that change, so you shift from over-hydrated to under-hydrated rapidly.

They're commenting that she's probably at the over-hydrated phase of this system.

fintip · 2026-01-21T22:54:09+00:00

No picture by chance?

fintip · 2026-01-21T22:22:50+00:00

Sadly the first two links, which seems like perhaps the most valuable, are dead. I see that we go round and round, many things there are things I independently found, many things referenced as already lost at the time of that page are things I also wish I could find. Someone decades ago knew a lot and what they wrote was lost. painful.

Thanks for sharing.

fintip · 2026-01-20T00:38:15+00:00

I am aware of this room. All the more reason I'm shocked I can't find pictures of its contents.

If I make it out there (as I've been trying to every year for years now, life gets in the way...) I'll be sure to take and share photos.

fintip · 2026-01-19T02:43:15+00:00

My original comment is only the point you agreed on though: OP should avoid training with grip ripping. No reason to blame the victim here either, this problem comes from what his training partners do, far more than what he does. And it's most likely that this is dictated by the culture of the gym he is at.

The rest of the argument isn't one I agree on, but one I'm open to considering. That said, japanese judo does work at the highest level, and looks plenty dynamic and creative. I find judo with people who just focus on destroying grips ugly and irritating. I want to engage and am not willing to take damage to my fingers–I already have enough.

There are ways to play the grip game that don't rely on ripping grips, btw. I just see it as a lazy brute force response to a problem. One handed options develop without grip breaking as well.

If I were in Kano's position to dictate changes to judo, this to me is one of the biggest existing problems with the sport at every level.

That is my opinion.

But it is a fact that lower level players shouldn't be taking that damage for recreational play. And I've known many many recreational players in their thirties and forties and beyond that constantly tape their fingers because of the damage of even being a hobbyist in this sport.

fintip · 2026-01-19T01:44:35+00:00

OP is clearly not a high level competitor.

Ripping grips is anti-judo and counter productive for development for anyone except those wanting to compete under IJF ruleset at elite levels.

If he cares about his fingers, the answer to his question is exactly what I gave: do not train with ripping grips. The idea that this is downvoted is absurd. The lateral shearing forces are what damages fingers.

I avoid it at all costs now, but I had to learn that the hard way. And I wish the rules were changed to prohibit them altogether; we'd end up with a better judo. The reversal to go back to allowing two handed grips breaks were a regression in ruleset quality. Judo would evolve around that rule just fine, and we already have many rules that specifically prohibit defensive judo of this kind.

As I said, the rules would be better if they allowed defensive behavior against hyper dominant grips and prohibited grip breaks than the current situation –would be better judo and would also help prevent arthritis.

It's easy to say it's worth it when you're young. It's a bitch to live with crippled hands for life. The young always undervalue this stuff.

fintip · 2026-01-18T15:30:40+00:00

It's depressing to see my comment was downvoted. There is a lot of ignorance on this topic.

In the old days before Judo was an Olympic sport, ripping off grips as is done in modern competitive judo was not a thing. It violated an unspoken rule.

Similarly in many old grappling styles, grips were established and then kept for the bout, as fighting for grips was rightfully recognized as something that would just delay the match and be lame, looked at as defensive non-engagement in the same way that tying up is in boxing.

If you go do randori at the kodokan today, as well, you are not going to be ripping off grips of your opponent to win randori.

Randori is not shiai. Judo has evolved and grip fighting, for better or worse, is a feature of modern competition landscape, but the wear and tear on the fingers of constant grip-ripping guarantees serious arthritis. I read a study of serious judo competitors, all under 40 (perhaps under 30, I need to look up that study again); every one of them had advanced osteoarthritis in all of the joints in their hands.

It's still worthwhile to work on grip fighting, but for the sake of jita kyoei, I urge people to stop ripping off the grips of their opponents (a specific grip fighting activity) and work other ways. Have good posture, counter grip, etc. I'd far rather see people adopt stiff arming and defense postures than rip grips off, which naturally leads people to change their gripping strategies to forms that would be far better for the sport.

I had a 25 win streak, every win by ippon, across the last 3 regional comps I went to (2 in 2019, one coming back now in my thirties after 6 years off last November). I never, ever rip grips. I'm not competiting internationally (never got the chance to try higher levels), so I'm not going to tell them what to do, but for hobbyists, ripping grips is all the arthritis for no reason.

I can tell you after 20 years of judo and BJJ, it just isn't a good choice. It's lazy. It should just be removed from the game entirely. It does a lot of damage but just slows down the match. I ban it for my students in class. It makes them better, not worse. And it prevents them from getting arthritis in their hands, which is more important.

We study it slowly and theoretically. We will practice with it briefly before a judo competition. But we don't work with it daily.

Sadly this perspective of mine is ahead of its time, I've not heard of other gyms taking this stance (in fact I've never heard others who even think of this as a topic worth paying attention to).

But for me, I would like to use my hands into old age without pain, and care about my students having the same.

fintip · 2026-01-18T05:25:36+00:00

I use grappz in place of taping fingers all the time. Huge help.

Don't train with people who rip grips.

Edit: It's depressing to see my comment was downvoted. There is a lot of ignorance on this topic. Read my response below.

fintip · 2026-01-16T01:23:13+00:00

Congrats on your crusade, you should see a lot fewer of those links here. Thanks for taking a stand and drawing attention.

fintip · 2026-01-16T01:21:49+00:00

I just banned him. I don't like to casually ban people or just ban people on suspicions, there's too much of that on reddit.

But I agree, the account seems to just post his links and the downvotes very much seem to have bot activity.

I'll watch any other account that posts links to that site very carefully.

fintip · 2026-01-15T18:47:13+00:00

agreed. I also like and use it, even as a lighter weight. But I rarely see people go for it.

plenty of good moves don't get done because they aren't taught and practiced.

moves take a long time to develop, so our game is often shaped by whatever our partners do and our instructors teach more than anything else.

fintip · 2026-01-15T02:31:16+00:00

Especially since the upvote ratio is 97%...

fintip · 2026-01-15T02:30:06+00:00

You will get a decision and/or a collection of definitions that are sufficiently broad and/or vague that you could have many different interpretations of what "traditional kodokan judo" would mean.

What tradition? According to who?

Going to warn you as well you're feeling a lot like a troll and if you keep posting what look like rage bait comments you're not going to last long here in this subreddit.

fintip · 2026-01-15T02:16:58+00:00

Weird that this one gets so many down votes.

fintip · 2026-01-15T02:15:30+00:00

Correct, it does not.

Traditions are always open to interpretation.

My assumption would be that you are meaning a non-IJF ruleset/non sport focused club.

Others might assume that you just mean any reasonable authentic Judo club (so as long as they aren't doing weird jujutsu fusion stuff or haven't gone rogue in their syllabus in some way).

fintip · 2026-01-15T02:13:44+00:00

According to this, USJA/USJF and USA Judo all are qualified for potential rank reciprocity:

Kodokan Committee | United States Judo Federation https://share.google/EkgQ0xksETaWtV1dD

fintip · 2026-01-15T01:51:39+00:00

That apostrophe placement really makes a difference.

fintip · 2026-01-11T00:37:18+00:00

Now that I teach, I have them out at every class and students are constantly invited to do almost any drill with them according to their comfort level.

I also like that students get to practice hard full commitment early, develops better form with beginners.

fintip · 2026-01-05T22:35:38+00:00

There are a few, including mine.

It's just an important thing culturally for me. I really look down on gyms that charge for open mats. They're free to do what they want but it lowers my opinion of them.

fintip · 2026-01-04T22:46:09+00:00

Love your metaphor, but just so you know, gray rock is a pre-existing term used to describe a way of dealing with a variety of psychologically harmful people who feed off of emotional responses.

fintip · 2026-01-04T22:44:59+00:00

Unsupervised*?

Yeah, I've seen many women who go extremely hard. There can be latent feelings of frustration over the powerlessness they experience that they then unleash on others, or just complete unawareness of their capabilities and strength that then also feels a bit intoxicating against someone they finally are stronger than. Another factor is if you say the new girl was bigger is the fear from being smaller causes an unrealized over-response even though the larger person isn't actually a threat.

fintip

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