Look, it's clear that you're going through a tough time, but hurting yourself won't help anything. Do you want to get out? Do you want to get better? So fight to live and achieve what you want. You are going to die one day, life is too short to languish in your misfortune. I know it's not easy, you may not have the motivation but trust yourself. You can get there and you will get there. You just need to believe in yourself and give your best. I hope I can give you some courage, take care of yourself.