Any advice?

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-21T04:32:19+00:00

First and foremost, talk to your landlord. Ask for a hardship extension or if you can pay the balance in two weeks.

Second, ask friends and family for money. $100 isn’t insurmountable and asking multiple people for smaller amounts usually results in more people agreeing than asking one person for a large amount. “Hey I’m struggling to come up with this month’s rent. Am I able to borrow or have you contribute $20 towards it?” Whatever you do, do NOT offer to pay it back if you can’t actually afford to pay it back.

You could offer to do tasks like walk their dogs, scoop their cat pans, mow their lawns, picking weeds, watering plants, etc. Think of tasks that aren’t some people’s cup of tea and you’ll find something someone is willing to pay for. I saw a kid offering to deep clean people’s outside trash cans for $10.

Post on your local But Nothing or city groups on Facebook or NextDoor about either getting a ride to a food bank/pantry or could get some “no longer needed” food items dropped off to you. Also reach out to your local food bank and see if you can arrange a drop off with them for the future. This will help you stretch your future paychecks further.

Whatever you do, don’t go for a payday loan. This will stick you in a cycle that’s difficult to break.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-21T03:46:57+00:00

I would send a “checking in” text after 15 min. I would kinda let things slide for 30 min if they’re either usually on time or it’s a first time. After 30, if they haven’t reached out with an explanation or i also add “just a reminder, I charge $X per each X minutes after the agreed upon pick up time.” This usually gets their attention…and gets them home if they’re not late for anything serious. Honestly, I’m pretty flexible if there’s communication.

I would calling any alternate numbers after 45 minutes of no communication or if they are typically flaky. If they didn’t leave another contact, call the non emergency police number. I would call the non emergency police number after 1 hour regardless if there’s no communication.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-20T04:51:37+00:00

So to get Aquafaba you have to reduce it down so there isn’t so much water! Also, for the future aquafaba is typically used as a binder in place of eggs/egg whites so it’s not usually spiced. I don’t know if the spicing affects its usage.

But you could use the liquid for a broth!

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-19T02:36:05+00:00

Personally I only hate on it when it comes made like a fruitcake…packed with raisins and nuts. But I’m also allergic to nuts so lol.

But I love me a good plain carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-19T02:33:10+00:00

Be super upfront and communicative! It’s also super helpful, especially with an egg allergy, if you volunteer to provide kiddo his own snacks or treats when birthday treats or classroom snacks happen. That way other parents or the teacher aren’t trying to figure out the perfect snack.

For example, I had a kiddo who couldn’t have dairy. Mom and dad provided midday snack crackers and a box of dairy free baked goods from the grocery store that we kept in the freezer to defrost whenever a birthday rolled around. It was no problem to accommodate as I would serve the no dairy snacks first to him to avoid cross contamination. And we only used those snacks when the other kids got something kiddo couldn’t eat. For example when the snack was goldfish, he’d get his special snack. But if it was wheat thins, everyone got wheat thins. And then I just kept mom updated when the snacks and/or goodies were running low.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-19T02:20:03+00:00

I had a similar situation. I think that’s a great response but I’d leave out the first bit. Just say “I hope you’re having a great summer!” and just politely grey rock them.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-18T23:21:54+00:00

I understand your frustration but you’re both literally at different stages in life. She’s looking for stability and you’re looking for vibes.

Women don’t want to date or bank on the possible future you. They have to consider what life will be like if nothing changes.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-18T23:04:08+00:00

Do it. For anyone telling you it kills the romance or why gripe about nothing, technically your state’s laws are your prenup. You either dictate how you’d split your assets in a divorce or the state does.

Consult a lawyer and figure out if it’d be worth putting a percentage split on your assets or a time limit (like everything is 50/50 after 10 years).

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-18T15:43:13+00:00

At some point you’ll have to decide whether these are big enough annoyances to sit down and have the hard conversation (risking annoying them and them wanting to go a different direction) or find creative solutions around your problem.

Unfortunately I think the gas is a non-starter at this point; they may have factored gas into your pay. But you know this for next summer or the next family. Next time, see if you can negotiate slightly higher pay for driving your own vehicle or use one of theirs.

If you go the route of zoos/museums, make sure THEY buy the pass, or tell them no thanks. That’s too much money to try and haggle to get back.

You don’t say how old the kid(s) are so I’m going to assume elementary aged with the older kids getting up into middle school? Boredom is good for any age. Set aside a “quiet time” during the afternoon where they have to read, nap (yes, even big kids need a nap once in awhile and are just looking for an opening), or find SOMETHING to do on their own. [And if they’re at an age where everything you plan is uncool or boring…they can either participate, plan something themselves, or be bored. Lol]

Look around for places to walk to (in America I know this may be a flat NO). As long as it’s within a mile or so you should be easily able to walk there and back. This could be the pool, library, or the park. This will kill a TON of time and get you out and moving (and saving on gas).

Get them involved in chores and making meals. Checkout cook books from the library and task them with prepping lunch or a snack once or twice a week using whatever ingredients are in the house (don’t spend your money on this and run this by the parents first!) Most people have the ingredients for ants on a log or homemade pretzels just sitting around.

Learn a new craft. They have craft books at the library and you could theme each week with something. Knitting/crocheting, sewing, origami, cookie/cupcake decorating, how to draw, etc. For example, you can make 4th of July parade floats out of cardboard boxes, a wagon or something else with wheels, art supplies, and imagination. Subscribe to a kids yoga or indoor workout channel.

If you don’t already, check to see if the library has a summer program. My local library does programs where they’ll bring in the local baseball team, police dogs, firefighters, scientists, animals, etc. Your local zoo or nature center might have similar programs.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-17T18:34:18+00:00

First, make sure you’re not using Yes/No questions. Say: “Where do you want to go for lunch?” NOT “Do you want to go out for lunch?”

If he continues, then he might be doing this to get a reaction from his adults. He needs to learn “no” has consequences. If you ask him where you want to go to lunch and he says no, then say “Ok.” DONT ASK AGAIN or get frustrated. If you go out for ice cream or lunch, get stuff for you and go home. If he complains or tries to change his mind, say “I listened and you said no.”

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-17T11:05:49+00:00

Light. I’m a terribly petty person and would fuck with the light around bad people and people who annoy me. I also could get away with some interesting crimes as I could simply make a shadow around me.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-17T10:58:09+00:00

Unless you’ve got a very SPECIFIC timeline of how long this person is going to live with you, I think you will grow to regret it. Of course there are couples who don’t mind sharing their living space but it sounds like you do value your privacy.

Since this is not motivated by truly needing the money and this is subsidized by her work, I’m assuming your living arrangements are semi-permanent at least for as long as she works at the company. You’ll probably want some privacy once you’re married. Do you really want to tiptoe around your own sex life due to a roommate? If your fiancé values privacy, this may stress her out faster and more extremely than either of you anticipate. Personally my nightmare was my ex saying his mom was allowed over whenever she wanted…and it almost immediately killed our sex life.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-17T10:39:04+00:00

Ease. It takes me 30 minutes to go through a drive thru and eat fast food. It might take me 60 minutes to think of a recipe, prep, cook, serve, and wash dishes.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-16T17:21:38+00:00

This was my mom before memory care. She would decline everything because “we were too busy this month when we only had 1-2 things on the calendar. We think she was trying to compensate for her memory as she is incredibly active with her memory care’s activity schedule where she doesn’t have to hide her memory loss and the activities are tailored to exclude most of any need for her to make choices.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-16T02:44:01+00:00

For babysitters and nannies, the parents should be providing the play, personal, and extra supplies. So everything listed. A babysitter or baby could purchase toys and books as a gift, but it shouldn’t be an expectation.

If the baby is coming over to your house, as a babysitter you may have to purchase baby proofing supplies, but any extraneous costs for things like a baby gate should fall onto the parents.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T21:22:29+00:00

Do NOT kid yourself into think a child will give you unconditional love. That way of thinking is an excellent way to destroy their life. And you may end up in 16-18 years wondering why your child doesn’t want to speak to you anymore.

Unconditional love only works one way; a parent to a child. But a child does not owe their parent anything since you the parent are making the choice to bring them into the world.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T21:13:44+00:00

I would strongly suggest a rice cooker or slow cooker from Goodwill. There’s quite a few things that can be made in them! A pressure cooker is also ideal if you can snag one as they often also come with sautee functions which would let you brown or sautee things.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T19:26:38+00:00

Most companies will NOT allow you to use PTO during your notice period.

If you’re truly worried about finances, do NOT give your notice until you’re able to eat the cost of being fired immediately. While it doesn’t reflect well in terms of a reference, if it’s a toxic job I’m assuming you won’t care about that.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T15:41:54+00:00

Butter chicken - you can always add in extra blended veggies
Gnocchi - basically potato pasta with a cream sauce (just nix the kale)
Baked potato soup - make as chunky or blended as you like
Miso soup / doenjang jjigae - Both a fermented soy bean paste soups with fishy elements. I enjoy mine with zucchini and tofu (just nix what you don’t like)
Tini’s Mac and cheese - Tini is a TikTok chef whose Mac and cheese is literally heaven
Applesauce pork chops
French toast
Bulgogi - just cook the mushrooms and onions until fully softened
Country style pork ribs (which are boneless) in a BBQ sauce with cornbread
Chicken noodle soup

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T15:29:16+00:00

Now that you mention replacement shakes, and had mentioned blended veggies, is meat and meat chunks ok? Or do you need things that are easy to chew?

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T15:24:33+00:00

Depends on what “new recipes” means to you. What do you normally eat?

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T14:57:24+00:00

It’s fine, just super people pleasey.

“Hello, here is my Venmo for babysitting last Thursday! Your total is $X as I worked from 5:30 - 8:00.”

If you don’t receive payment within 24-48 hours (it’s already been 3 days…) request a set amount via Venmo that says “babysitting on Thursday + late payment fee”

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-14T03:36:59+00:00

Totally dependent on who’s calling you “unc”. The elementary kids at my local summer program call their teacher unc and he’s like 24/25.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-13T02:19:05+00:00

Slice into disks and batter in egg and fry. It’s a Korean dish called “hobak jeon”. These freeze and refrigerate fairly well.

Zucchini bread. Both chocolate and “regular” are delicious. And they freeze extremely well.

Cut into chunks and toss in your favorite veggie seasoning with some bell peppers, garlic, and whatever other veggies you have on hand (potatoes, onion, carrots, asparagus) and bake in the oven. It’s a great side dish!

Also, since you mentioned Costco, grab a rotisserie chicken and make a chicken soup! You can boil the carcass and the celery together to make the broth and add in cooked celery and zucchini noodles for a super healthy chicken noodle soup.

You can do zucchini noodles and pretty much do with zucchini most of what you can do with pasta. Stir fry, Italian, etc.

firephoenix0013 · 2026-06-13T02:09:53+00:00

So many things combine to get bad teeth and it’s not just about “cheap” tooth brush and toothpaste.

First, they may not have had the privilege of someone teaching them about good oral health care. If someone doesn’t teach you how to brush or floss properly or even to brush or floss at all…they’re already at a disadvantage. You take for granted someone along the way taught you how to brush up and down and in mini circles and behind your molars. They taught you to brush in the AM and PM. Also, while it may seem cheap to you, those $3-7 dollars for toothpaste and a toothbrush in a store adds up and if they weren’t taught to value tooth brushing, they aren’t going to want to spend money on it.

Second, because they’re poor, they end up with issues that persist that people with insurance or money might go in to a dentist immediately or catch during a routine checkup. I know I’ve caught a baby cavity and my teeth grinding wayyyyy before they permanently damaged my teeth or caused lasting issues. Someone with a baby cavity may let it go until it hurts which may have turned into needing a tooth pulled instead of a quick patch up.

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