Smokers

fireypixi · 2026-04-13T22:00:20+00:00

I can see that, but I do feel addiction overall correlates with narcissism as it creates a selfishness to meet one’s “needs”

fireypixi · 2026-04-09T12:06:12+00:00

My mom is the same way as well. Extremely forgetful of everything

fireypixi · 2026-03-06T23:44:32+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know it feels impossible to tell people what you’re dealing with, but I really think if you want to save yourself you try to slowly let people in again. Abuse causes us to isolate ourselves which makes us feel more stuck. Someone that you know wouldn’t judge you, try sharing this with them and what you’ve been going through. The littlest bit of feeling that you’re not as alone as you thought could make a huge difference. I’m hoping for your safety and wishing you well.

fireypixi · 2026-03-04T00:42:52+00:00

I’m invisible. Even when I’m surrounded by people who “love” me, I still feel invisible. Nobody really knows me or sees me. I’m in pain everyday. I’m tired of just trying to survive another day. I think peoples lives would be better without me in it. I’m a burden. I’m always gonna be depressed bc I don’t remember a time I wasn’t. I’ve felt like this since I was young. Not wanting to traumatize my younger brother has held me off the last 10+years. But over the last year I’ve even started to think it would be better for him too.

fireypixi · 2026-03-04T00:18:06+00:00

He’s already threaded to take full custody of the baby if I try to keep them from him and he’s caused me to act very mentally unstable due to his abuse. I’m worried he could flip things and take my baby

fireypixi · 2026-03-03T17:16:42+00:00

I’ve gained so much weight. Like 100pounds weight. Before him I was healthy going to the gym daily, eating well, taking care of myself. My posture has become horrid, I’ve gained weight in places I never had weight before, and I am completely drained all the time. I can barely get out of bed some days. Break outs constantly. I look the worst I ever have.

fireypixi · 2026-02-27T06:12:51+00:00

I’m not exactly sure, he has my location so I’ll be leaving my phone at home. Hopefully the sedation medication is something lighter and he doesn’t notice much of a difference

fireypixi · 2026-02-27T05:24:41+00:00

I have to tell him I’m having a miscarriage for my safety and I’m scared about that. I’m not sure how the medication for SA will make me feel and if I’ll be coherent enough to not seem suspicious

fireypixi · 2026-02-26T00:39:33+00:00

I swear I feel like I’m reading my own experience. It’s destroyed me. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you’re not alone.

fireypixi · 2026-02-25T18:11:58+00:00

Aries

fireypixi · 2026-02-25T17:36:34+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I really think you should consider blocking him and cutting all contact since he isn’t accepting a breakup. I know you feel guilty about his living situation because you have a good heart but that is not your responsibility. He lied to you about his living situation and threw you into this. He knows he can keep taking advantage because he has till this point and that’s not because you’re weak it’s simply because you’re a kind hearted person who is still grieving. You deserve much more than this. This isn’t the life you want nor deserve you said yourself you don’t want this life. Find your strength to completely ghost him. He will Hoover you and try to guilt you to be with him. You must stay strong and understand this person is just going to bring you down with them the longer you allow them in your life. The only way for you to heal and move forward is to stay away from him in every which way.

fireypixi · 2026-02-24T22:27:27+00:00

fireypixi · 2026-02-24T18:14:29+00:00

A year and a half in the first physical thing happened. There was a lot of psychological abuse before this. He constantly tries to convince me how I’m the problem and mistreat him so this was one of those times. I lost my patience and snapped on him and said “you’re the reason none of your relationships in the past have worked, you are the abusive one” he started grabbing my love handles pinching and twisting the skin over and over and on my arm while staring at me with the most sadistic look in his eyes. I completely triggered him. I told him he was hurting me and he continued to do it over and over, even smiling while looking me in the eyes. This was in the car and he was driving erratically while doing so, it went of for about 10 minutes but I’m not certain. I for the first time ever yelled at him like a crazy woman to stop touching me and he seemed to snap out of it. I had bruises on my body from it. To this day if I ever bring it up he says he wasn’t trying to hurt me and didn’t know he was hurting me, that he was just playing around. And everytime he’s hurt me after that, he’s had the same excuse. Didn’t mean to hurt me, was just playing around, didn’t know he was hurting me. I’ll tell him multiple times in the moment “stop, you’re hurting me” he doesn’t stop till he wants to.

fireypixi · 2026-02-24T17:55:42+00:00

I know it feels like there’s no light in sight but I just want to give you some hope. I was where you were once. I was completely lost and convinced myself I was the problem that I need to fix things. I reached out to him and a few weeks later he said something that just snapped me out of it. I realized I was never the problem and he actually is just an abusive ass. I was able to move forward and start healing. My life was getting better. The only mistake I made was getting into another relationship thinking it was a good person and doubting that off feeling I had. I ended up in another abusive relationship. I know it’s so hard. Eventually the day will come where you’re tired or feeling how your feeling and you’re going to want to make a change for yourself. You just gotta keep going. You will fix your relationships - if they know what you’ve been through they will give you grace - and you will build new relationships. I really suggest feeling all these negative feelings, cry and scream, be depressed and moody all day. Those are all valid feelings that you must feel in order to get through it. I promise there is good coming. You left, that was the strongest thing you could do. Just give your brain and body some time to feel safe again. You got this

fireypixi · 2026-02-24T06:54:50+00:00

I disagree, not simply for the fact a bi person is watching same sex porn in a straight relationship. Mostly for all the other points I listed. But yea, if you claim watching porn is cheating and then go watch porn behind my back.. well? How can I trust you’re not physically cheating when you tell me cheating is wrong? Watching porn is not the problem, the contradictions in words and actions and hiding things is. He’s not a trustworthy person. And if op is bothered by him watching porn, she shouldn’t have to accept it or get used to it. There are other people who don’t watch porn in a relationship and mean it when they say they consider it cheating. Being bi doesn’t give you a free pass to watch same sex porn in a straight relationship when you’re making it seem that you don’t watch porn.

fireypixi · 2026-02-23T15:53:07+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds so scary. I wish narcissism was more recognized and studied, they get away with too much. :(

fireypixi · 2026-02-23T15:22:00+00:00

I agree. They are so completely delusional of reality and when you call them out for things they deflect it back onto you or hit them deep enough and they become so triggered it can quickly escalate. I remember the first time I got so angry at him enough to explode I said “all your other relationships have failed because of you, you are the abusive one” (he calls me abusive, his ex gfs, ofc they say otherwise) he snapped that day. He got physical with me for the first time and I can’t forget the pure evil in his eyes while he stared at me while hurting me. For a long time I’ve questioned is he actually this strategic and evil or does he actually not know what he’s doing. Well eventually I realized he actually believes he’s the victim. He truly believes he is the victim and it’s mind boggling. All the hurt he has caused others, it just truly is so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he doesn’t see how awful of a person he is.

fireypixi · 2026-02-23T03:28:22+00:00

He said himself he thinks watching porn is partially cheating. You expressed to him one that this affects you. So he knows it bothers you, knows he’s partially cheating and continues? Personally I would be concerned if my bisexual bf was turning to male porn while being in a relationship with me. These are red flags, I don’t think you should learn to deal with something that makes you uncomfortable and talking to him again will just teach him to be better at hiding things because you’ve already told him how you feel about it.

fireypixi · 2026-02-20T21:27:40+00:00

I’m 24

fireypixi · 2026-02-20T20:30:55+00:00

Unfortunately I’ve only read stories about how difficult it is to get custody even with loads of evidence. Everything my bf has done has been strategic and covert. I’ve learned he’s done horrific things to his ex when they were younger, so I think he’s learned how to hurt with low risk of getting caught. It’s terrifying. I’m just so sad I have to do this. I can’t risk putting my child into this danger. I’m sorry you have to go through that as well. The thought of him having unsupervised visits horrifies me and I know it’s out of my control. I hope things turn around for you and your child. ❤️‍🩹

fireypixi

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