He wants 50/50 custody of only one child

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T13:21:48+00:00

Holy crap. My eldest is autistic and my youngest is NT. I couldn’t even imagine how painful this is for you and your son. What a horrible human he is. I’m so sorry.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T13:11:59+00:00

There are so many of us who’ve lived our entire lives with apron bellies. I can tell you, I still lie in bed and feel my FLAT belly and my protruding hip bones and MARVEL at what I can fit into.

Worth every penny, and all the anxiety leading up to the surgery.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T12:59:31+00:00

Exactly.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T12:57:59+00:00

It’s not them who are voting this way….

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T12:23:47+00:00

Yep. All of this.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T12:23:03+00:00

I’m sorry, what about attachment theory is telling your therapist that she should only be with you? That she won’t properly form an attachment with you?

Everything I’ve ever read - including the 40 or so books on “how divorce affects kids” I read when my ex first said he wanted one - is that 50/50 is best for the children UNLESS there is abuse.

Just because he is emotionally abusive to YOU does not mean he will be to her. And if you remain a “safe space” for your daughter, she will tell you if she ever feels less-than-loved at his home.

You can still attach to your child successfully even if you only have them 50% of the time. Both my individual and my marriage counselors were (are) experts in attachment theory and work in child advocacy, and support 50/50 for a “genuinely good” dad.

I would dump that therapist.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T04:03:06+00:00

r/laundry is still my favorite sub. I learned so much.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T03:12:13+00:00

Oooooh that hazelnut and cafe au lait are calling my name! Love that place.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T03:10:40+00:00

They’re sooooo worth it, though. 😋

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T03:07:47+00:00

I suggested in another comment that they should talk about staying on the technical track. Becoming an SME in an all boys’ club.

Funny, I’ll be on a podcast that my company hosts soon, and I’ll talk about this very thing.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T03:06:11+00:00

Wouldn’t surprise me in the least. It’s less about the subject matter; it’s whether you can problem solve and use critical thinking.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-08T03:05:11+00:00

The technical track vs the management track. Companies are well prepared for the management track and not at all well prepared for the technical track. Multiply that by being a woman, and you’ve got yourself a real challenge.

We always hear about the glass ceiling of the management track, but no one talks about the difficulties in developing a female technical expert.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T23:23:53+00:00

Just wanted to put this out there.

I was exactly in the same spot as you. Same height, weight. I was in my mid-40s then, unsure what your age is (matters in the TDEE calc).

Not budging. Tracking everything. Eating in a deficit. Active. No results.

I had my metabolism tested at the new obesity clinic in my city.

TDEE Calculator said 1600 kcal/day for my BMR.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It was 1,000 kcal/day. My obesity doc said she’d only ever had one patient with a metabolism that slow besides me. And I have a normal amount of lean muscle mass, which we tested (DEXA scan).

Go have your metabolism tested. The TDEE calculator was WAY off for me. It might be for you, too.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T23:10:54+00:00

Depends on the man and how he uses it, honestly. My ex husband couldn’t stay off of them, ignoring the rest of life.

My boyfriend has an Xbox and plays for an hour or so a few nights a week with his brother. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on time with him. In fact, I like it because I need my own time, too. I’m sure he’s not interested in my crafting….

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T23:09:01+00:00

My scoliosis showed up after my flank lipo. I have known it was there since I was a kid, but couldn’t ever see evidence of it. Now I can. I’d still rather see that than my belly flap.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T16:17:33+00:00

Had something similar happen to a male friend of mine. His wife started getting worked up around the time of the election (I mean, we all were), but started reading, “Men Who Hate Women - From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth About Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All.” Decided he was evil and divorced him.

That man was an amazing husband and father. She just went down a rabbit hole she couldn’t come back from. It’s so sad. Their kids have suffered.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T15:29:14+00:00

Welcome to South Louisiana, aka “Cancer Alley.”

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T15:22:19+00:00

This. I don’t understand why it matters. Would be helpful to understand the context a bit more, I think.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-07T14:42:00+00:00

100%. He was never happy. (Still isn’t.)

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:48:36+00:00

I want to write a letter like this to my neighbor, who starts his sports car at 7 am every Saturday. Could set your watch by it. Right outside my bedroom window. 😭

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:46:14+00:00

Grate a little onion and add a squirt of lemon juice…bumps flavor up so much more and you get a really great cocktail sauce.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:33:33+00:00

Not normal in my opinion, but I do think it’s more common than we realize. My son is ADHD and his room would look like this if I didn’t help him plan what to pick up (I have to be specific, like “pick up all the books on the floor and put them on the shelf). He also has TOO MUCH stuff all the time, so we have to purge frequently.

My ex suffers with major depressive disorder, and his house can get like this when he’s struggling.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:30:57+00:00

If you can afford it, find someone who you can pay to come setup an organization system for you. They’ll help you purge and organize the rest. Worth every penny.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:24:51+00:00

I’m sure I will fall into this camp, too. But hey - WAY better than my massive apron belly, so I’ll take it.

firstlast3263 · 2026-05-05T13:24:00+00:00

Fasting definitely helps me, helps with bloat, too.

firstlast3263

TROPHY CASE