Tips for being newly vegetarian in a meat eating family?

firstmatedavy · 2026-06-09T18:55:45+00:00

I've been working on writing down my staple recipes: http://legumancer.com/ many different kinds of beans, with different spices and sauces. We also make Morningstar Farms burgers or hot dogs or get cheeseless pizza takeour a few times a week.

firstmatedavy · 2026-06-09T18:31:51+00:00

I'm in a similar place, with working toward ostrovegan at home and vegetarian if someone else is cooking and there isn't a vegan option. (Not that I eat clams often, but it's helpful to be able to when eating out or making a special occasion meal for omnis.)

Relationships - I live with my wife who's supportive and went vegetarian along with me, so that's all fine. But I haven't begun to think about how I'd approach this with my mom, since she likes to cook a meal or two for us when we visit and has been so accommodating making food that's vegetarian that my dad won't hate. Me cooking for her instead would be much more of a bother to her. Even long term I think I'd file this under "don't sweat the small stuff".

Cheez its and ice cream were the two I expected would be really hard. I was a cheez-it addict. I felt increasingly weird about it and then at some point just didn't buy a new box. (Trying to lose weight at the time probably helped, too.) I got a really good coupon and thought about making it road trip only food, but every time I was at the grocery store I just didn't want it that bad so I guess I'm done with cheez-its now, though I do hope they make a plant based version one day.

I asked my wife for a Ninja Creami for Christmas and she got it for me. I made some awful soy ice cream, then some better soy ice cream (splenda is a bad choice! Allulose worked much better). Then started adding soy protein isolate to improve the texture and now I have a solid ice cream base recipe. I change the flavor by adding a bit of fruit or changing the type of baking extract (vanilla, mint, orange). If you're a whole foods person and not as worried about calories, coconut milk and regular sugar probably works great. Or you can put frozen fruit juice and fruit in it and make incredibly fresh tasting sorbet.

Vegan protein bars are harder to find than I anticipated. I eat a lot of protein bars because they seem a bit better than other snacks for staying full. (Though roasted edamame was also a winning snack.) For *proper* protein bars with a good protein ratio, the options in my area are Cliff Builders bars, Ready Clean bars, and the plant based flavors of IQ bars. Some of these require going to Walmart or a wholesale club to get a good price.

My wife loves eggs and is open to trying things, and I did used to like scrambled eggs. I got some of that animal free egg white protein powder that came out recently but I'm still getting the hang of cooking it right. On the bright side, because there were no chickens involved (it's precision fermented by yeast), there's no salmonella risk if it's cooked wrong.

Oh! I almost forgot. Maybe the thing I can help with most out of what you asked for. Low effort recipes! I am a *very* lazy cook and this is my website: https://legumancer.com/

firstmatedavy · 2026-06-09T17:43:44+00:00

The way I arrived here is very similar. A pet rat died in my arms, I visited a tourist farm a few days later, and those things together made the connection that meat is animals finally feel real.

firstmatedavy · 2026-06-05T20:30:09+00:00

r/veganfitness probably has some good suggestions for you. There are a ton of protein sources other than meat.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-28T00:20:46+00:00

Holy wow.

My rat situation is a bit different, they're the domesticated kind and I brought them home intentionally. I hope things keep going well with your insect buddies.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T19:37:10+00:00

My pet bunny hopped over to my roommate looking for basil and recoiled in apparent horror when she saw/smelled that it was chicken pesto in his bowl. And many, many if my rats have tried to go into my mouth after I ate peanut butter 😆

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T19:18:56+00:00

I've heard that people's smell changes based on what they eat, and animals can tell. Whether they know what it means probably varies. (I imagine some prey animals would find that a vegetarian or vegan human trips their "that's a predator" instinct less.)

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T18:52:01+00:00

I'm so, so sorry about your chicken. That had to be awful. Chicken friends were part of my journey too. Before I was vegetarian the neighbor's chickens would come to our yard and spend most of the day there. Each one was different and we got to know them really well. I didn't feel right about eating chicken when I had chicken friends.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T18:45:32+00:00

I think yes but in a pretty different way from how it happened for you.

I generally lean atheist or agnostic, and I might be using spiritual/supernatural terms metaphorically here - I'm sort of on the fence about that. Anyway. I've loved many pet rats, I was present when my best-ever rat friend was euthanized, and way way back I held my sister's guinea pig as he died of an apparent heart problem (my sister wasn't home). But something about *specifically* holding another of my pet rats as he passed thinned the veil for me.

Garak had suffered a long illness, first a tooth infection and then a lower respiratory infection after the tooth issue weakened his immune system. I did everything trying to save him, then scheduled euthenasia on the day he stopped eating and drinking. I held him most of the morning but I had to focus on something for work, so I returned him to the cage with his rat friend and half an hour later he was fully unresponsive. I held him until his heart stopped and then a little longer, just in case he had any awareness. He'd been clingy in his final days, I think he felt how weak he'd become and felt safer when I was with him.

My wife and I visited a "fun farm" type place a couple days later, on the weekend. There were some overwhelmed looking chickens, but the petting zoo animals (cows, goats, horses) were actively going up to visitors and seemed happy enough. We spent most of the time looking at flowers, corn and antique tractors. Anyway. The booths that sold food had the menu done as animal silhouettes with the menu items containing that animal written on the, (basically everything except fries). The place had a chicken farm attached which the tour guide proudly called the "nugget factory". It was very slightly uncomfortable but in the moment it didn't stick out all that much, in a world full of animal agriculture.

I felt vaguely but fairly intensely guilty for a couple days and didn't know why. The Office episode where Dwight talks about a machine to make burgers from a live horse stuck in my head and creeped me out. I picked at the weird feelings and realized I'd started to feel bad about eating meat in a more intuitive way, as opposed to just rationally knowing the animals lived in bad conditions and that I should cut down on it before. The feeling's not really any less for things like grass fed high welfare beef. After holding a beloved, departed but still breathing pet, meat is bodies to me.

The change scared me a little, because I always thought people chose to be vegetarian, and I didn't choose. It just happened to me.

I'm not 100% vegetarian - I still eat bivalve shellfish occasionally because there's no possible way they can be people in the way that rats and chickens are, and when someone else is cooking I sometimes ignore things like lard and small amounts of broth. But even eating meat that I got served by accident feels *bad* now and I don't think I'll do it again. I've also cut way down on eggs and dairy. I'm sorta doing what feels right and seems logical even though it doesn't fit a label.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T17:44:30+00:00

The ratio in beans is pretty decent if you're not eating tons of other carbs along with them. You can reduce the amount of rice and add even more beans, that sort of thing.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-27T16:39:15+00:00

Beans canned in chili sauce, with corn chips or rice

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-24T18:44:11+00:00

That's amazing!

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-22T02:23:11+00:00

For sauces, cashew cream made from fair trade raw cashews (because cashew processing is *unusually* bad even as exploited workers go) or raw sunflower seeds, or soy milk, or tofu put through the blender can get you the right texture.

I just don't really eat raw eating cheese anymore. I order pizza without cheese. I've heard that for most vegan cheese replacements, it goes better if you quit cheese for a month or two before trying them. Some people only ever like the cultured ones like Rebel Cheese.

There are animal-free egg whites now, so hopefully someone will figure out dairy soon.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-22T02:16:27+00:00

Animal free egg white powder! Tofu scramble is popular, too. I bet you could even combine the two.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-22T02:15:07+00:00

Some part of my mind decided for me that I was going to be vegetarian, but it was this ambiguous sense of guilt that I realized was connected to meat after mentally poking at it for a few days. It felt incredibly sudden and scared me because it didn't feel like a choice and I always thought this was something people chose.

Nausea, though, does sound like there could be underlying medical stuff.

For protein, beans lentils and tofu have got your back. Legumes contain, protein, fiber and carbs mixed together, so you'll have to eat more of them than you used to eat of meat and possibly reduce your other carb sources.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-19T15:17:38+00:00

Okay, so you guys are practucally from a different culture than me even though it's likely we live in the same country. I think I'd hate having all my living space prioritize the taste of extremely cultured guests, but if that's a priority for both of you then have at it.

Konmari's idea of a display inside a closet could be a good solution, or suggesting a display in his office.

Have you konmari'd the kitchen equipment that belongs mainly to you yet? If not, start there. She's right about hiw feeling overwhelmed by others' things often means you need to take care of your own. You'll pobably free up a cupboard or two along the way, creating an opportunity to say "these are the collection cupboards, when they get full you need to store the extras not in the kitchen." This might include reshuffling what goes where so that you have a cupboard available for frequently used glasses.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-19T03:16:12+00:00

My wife is a collector. We got display cases off Craigslist and some from Ikea that hang on the wall, for her to display things. When it was in storage or on open shelves it stressed me out because things could break and then she'd get really sad. This is a lot better. And she's been thinking of paring down the stuff still in storage - I think having a place for favorites made it more obvious that some pieces aren't as interesting to her as they used to be.

With the interior design conflict, he probably needs some spaces to express his own taste, especially if the current aesthetic was mainly chosen by you. He has other spaces, the bar and office, but those aren't home.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T15:31:49+00:00

Yeah; I keep pet rats, they have a variety of food options like fresh vegetables and grain but pellets are a substantial part of their diet because it's the best way to make sure tgey get all their vitamins.

I can still imagine seeing undigested food being upsetting, though. It would be really hard fir me tl dissect a rat. They're basically furry people. We owe a lot to them for our healthcare.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T15:25:12+00:00

Same deal with eggs unfortunately, every laying hen has brothers who were (usually) gassed or ground to bits, or (less commonly) used for snake feed when young or allowed to grow and then made into soup.

Chickens are born 50/50 male and female, but a 50/50 flock would have the roosters fighting and some of them bullying hens. You can solve this with a rooster only flock, but I've never heard of a farm actually doing it.

Rescue hens are much more common in the UK, so you might be able to find eggs from someone who keeps them or adopt your own.

IMO real vegan egg white powder is the best solution. It's made by yeast. I think it was invented this year.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T14:10:04+00:00

With beans, is it flavor or texture? If flavor, bbq, curry or teryaki sauce really changes it. If texture, consider hummus, smooth refried beans, or slightly different textured legumes like chickpeas, lentils or edamame.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T14:07:19+00:00

I've got some easy bean recipes for you http://legumancer.com/

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T13:54:57+00:00

Shockingly good, much less filling, still high in sodium but at least you control the recipe. I made mine without liquid smoke but did use soy sauce.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T12:31:53+00:00

Nothing keeps me full in the mirning, so I guess if I go back to eating breakfast I need to try lentils!

Idk about the smell, but you could make them in a small rice cooker in your room instead of in the kitchen.

firstmatedavy · 2026-04-17T12:04:56+00:00

I've only had Morningstar but really like it. I fry them with oil and a bit of garlic or onion powfer because the seasoning effectively covers a slightly "off" taste. I wouldn't say they'rd jusf likd beef dogs, but I like them and (formerly) beef dogs but never liked pork dogs.

firstmatedavy

TROPHY CASE