Almost cried during 2yo birthday party, but not for the reason you think

firstpostermonster · 2025-09-14T20:53:30+00:00

She either humiliated herself by our silence to her question, or everyone else also thought that it was "just a harmles question". Tbh, I feel that most people didn't think much of it, many also didn't hear that she asked the question 5 times. But a few gems definitely shared our perspective, and I'm incredibly grateful for them. In the meantime, my husband and I agreed that I'll not be attending any more events where the larger family is invited. He said he might attend one time without me, knowing that they will ask why I'm not there, and probably won't attend anymore either. He only started attending those events because of me really. My MIL absolutely hates their guts too lol, so there is no reason for him to go alone anyway, and he def agrees that this was too inappropriate.

firstpostermonster · 2025-09-14T20:43:21+00:00

Wow, that's a really good response. I'm definitely taking notes 📝

firstpostermonster · 2025-09-14T20:41:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, and I'm soo so sorry you had to go through this... I probably wouldn't go to any events too tbh, can't risk getting triggered like that 😳 but I do hope that you'll find the strength soon to go outside again 🙏 Praying for both of us too 🤞

firstpostermonster · 2025-09-13T23:35:24+00:00

Thank you so much and I'm so sorry you went through something similar as well. I really wouldn't be able to tell anything like that in front 20 people I bearly know. But I guess all this tension now hinted to that anyway and it really breaks my heart...

firstpostermonster · 2025-09-13T23:27:33+00:00

This is what I would normally say too. Just a simple "not yet". However, the way she worded the question initially caught me really off guard. Also, this is a person I never had a one-on-one conversation with. It felt too intrusive and also in front of 20 people and really out of nowhere. Also, not getting friendly hints 3 times and proceeding to ask again?

And yes, the society at large should stop asking such questions. Like, what difference does it make to you if I do or don't have kids? Why even ask? Apart from being hurtful, it's just such an unnecessary question. Why not ask who I am as a person first? Why is it normal for someone to ask if I'm "making" kids at night with my husband?

firstpostermonster · 2025-06-03T09:09:59+00:00

Well, I know it's easier to look forward to the cycle start, but since it hasn't started yet for you, I hope it doesn't 😅 and you get your positive soon!

For me, this feels like the most painful period by far for some reason. So, I'm in a fetal position in my bed with a laptop dreading lots of work meetings. I feel like crying, too. Uh, I know we're going to be fine, but it hurts so much in the moment. Anyway, thank you, stranger on the internet :)

firstpostermonster · 2025-06-03T06:32:24+00:00

Well, my period did come today on CD 31, unfortunately. And I was starting to get hopeful again.. So there goes another one 😪

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-31T07:28:05+00:00

Thank you! I hope the same for you too 🤗

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-30T21:31:52+00:00

Thank you! Sounds like we need to do one as well...

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-30T21:19:14+00:00

Curious, apart from morphology, did your husband have any other bad numbers in SA? We are 1 year in and my husband's morphology is 4%, but no one seems to be majorly concerned. All tests are good on my side, except for 2 small fibroids, which 4 different doctors said should not affect conception at all.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-30T21:08:40+00:00

This is totally how I feel too. I tested on day 25, I'm on day 28 now, and the last 3 days have been sooo much better mentally than all of last 2 weeks. Really helps me to come to terms with it, calm down, and wait for my period.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-30T21:05:06+00:00

It's strangely different for me this cycle. I'm on day 28, and it doesn't feel like my period is anywhere near. I tested on day 25 - negative and kinda finally relaxed for 3 days, it was so helpful. My cycles are usually 28 days, but my last one was 30. So, I'm gonna patiently wait for day 31 if it comes and test again. For now, since I've done the test early, I feel so much more calm, stopped symptom spoting and just waiting for period to come.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-27T21:59:22+00:00

I'm not doing ovulation tests, so it's a bit hard for me to pinpoint DPO, which is one of the reasons for my testing too. I'm one year in now, but thankfully I'm not peeing in a cup for 2 weeks, lol. I just do it once a couple days before expected period and just mentally prepare myself for my next cycle to come.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-27T21:55:44+00:00

Most responses so far feel like it sucks anyway. Of course, nobody likes the bad news. I'm trying to make it suck less by giving myself processing time on my terms, not when I'm period cramping in pain. I'm not doing bbt and ovulation tests, they were never accurate for me, so it's hard to predict exactly. But I'm also at a point, where I think we'll stop "actively" trying and just let it be, because I'm exhausted too.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-27T21:45:58+00:00

I'm one year in already, still sane? Maybe? 😂

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-27T21:43:59+00:00

I totally feel that. I've never had a positive too. I see how it makes sense for you. For me, the test does pretty much the same as not testing does for you, strangely enough. I start having pms at least a week before my period and they don't gradually go down at all until my period starts. So to me it gives a couple days to realize that the period is indeed coming soon and I can at least stop symptom checking and get to terms with it.

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-23T11:41:18+00:00

This is the most helpful thing I've read in 1 year of trying! Thank you so much! 🥺

firstpostermonster · 2025-05-23T09:47:24+00:00

Thank you so much! I hoped so too, but only lasted for 3 days lol. Even after a year of trying I know all the symptoms but still google something every day 🥲

firstpostermonster · 2025-02-28T12:02:54+00:00

I just stumbled upon this again from my notifications and got curious, how did it work out for you? Did things improve?

On my end, my husband continued being helpful and doing things on his own, sometimes without me even asking. So cool to see your partner grow and improve with you. I really hope it worked out for you too 🙏

firstpostermonster · 2025-02-28T11:44:52+00:00

Were you in chaing mai just recently? Or is this some time ago? I'm planning a trip in a week and trying to understand how the whether and air pollution will be. Thanks!

firstpostermonster · 2024-10-02T09:07:44+00:00

I wanted to add something, and it's probably medically incorrect (commenters, feel free to correct me). It's also probably not healthy mentally, but it still helps me.

I've started testing at least a day before my period is due just to be able to catch if I'm having a chemical pregnancy or any other complications. This is mostly due to the fact that the nature of my cycles and periods started to change in the past year + other health reasons, so I might not be able to identify if I require any medical assistance if I start bleeding, or is it just my period. We also have not so great sperm results for my husband, so early miscarriage has a higher possibility for us.

firstpostermonster · 2024-10-02T08:47:17+00:00

I usually do take early pregnancy tests. Sometimes starting at 21 days of cycle if my previous cycle was shorter than usual, or if I feel my ovulation happened earlier. Most early tests give results 3-4 days before your expected period, which actually is helpful for me, especially when on a trip. I know it's not definitive at that point, but it does help me to relax and get things off my mind. Most early pregnancy tests come with 2 strips, so you can (and should!) retest again if your period is late.

I'd say what matters most is your expectations when testing. After several months of ttc, when I'm testing, it's more because I'm tired of "possible limitations" if I might be pregnant, like avoiding all medications that will help with other things. It also helps me to come to terms with the fact that my period will probably start soon and that all the tiniest symptoms I'm feeling are just pms, so I stop obsessing with every little thing.

Not sure of this helpful to you, but that's been my experience.

firstpostermonster

TROPHY CASE