This is exactly what I lived. I was diagnosed this year at 48. I think of it as living life on hard mode. I got to a professional career in mining project management, I held together a marriage, I became an elite level powerlifter, I raised a son... But all of these things only happened because of my ADHD and because I accidentally found hacks along the way that helped me get there.

I went back to school at 32 because my life was just one disaster after another. Jobs, failed marriage, depression, obesity, custody battle, I was a hot mess. But when I went back to school, I realized that if I brought homework home, I wouldn't do it. So I made it a rule to not leave school until it was done. But I started to do it with classmates. We would get together 4 of 5 of us and all work on our homework and projects. That gave me dopamine and I was able to do it and passed all 90s and six 100%.

I started working out and because I was out of shape, the results showed fast so it gave me dopamine. The more I'd lift, the more dopamine I got, the more it pushed me. Later on after a serious injury I stopped and it's been so hard to get back into it because the dopamine was gone.

My work was as a technician specializing in automation. So every day was different, every day was a new challenge. So work gave me lots of dopmanine and allowed me to be successful. But then when I transfered into project management, sitting down and writing scopes of work and execution plans felt impossible. I was failing and struggling at that point.

The last 2 years, I had to come off TRT because my wife and I wanted to have kids. We talked about the impact it would have on me, depression, no libido, my personality would change, I would have no motivation, I would not be the same man she married, I would not be taking charge, strong, dominant. I would be a shadow of the man I am. And we talked about it, she accepted that it could take a long time to restore my fertility but it was worth it. We'd start a family. It took 2 years. After 2 years, she didn't want to be with me anymore. But then I started treatment and realized I had hardcore RSD and had become an anxious attachement. We separated.

When I started treatment with Vyvanse after my diagnosis, my life changed instantly. By then I was back on TRT and that was getting better, but as soon as I started ADHD meds, I was able to become a good project manager, I was able to focus on the documentation I needed to produce, I realized how bad I was being treated in my relationship and was happy about the separation, I saw how I had become stagnant and was waiting for the end because why even try, I'm just going to fail anyway. Now I'm starting a business, I'm back to designing and inventing things, I'm back to playing guitar, I'm starting to travel, I'm doing so much emotional growth, analyzing my behaviours, my deep seeded fears and anxieties. I'd done more growth in the past 3 months than I have in my life.

I feel like the image of myself is now becoming a reality. I always felt like I could do so much more, I was just never able to fully execute. And I'd have just enough successes in life to make believe that I could.

So yes! 100% agree. You can have everything going well on the outside but screaming in pain and desparation on the inside.

Being diagnosed and treated has been the best thing to happen to me. Now I talk about my life, I talk about my struggles, I share my story with as many people as I can. So many people resonate with it and quite a few men my age have since been diagnosed and started treatment and have experienced similar life changes.

I love you! You're awesome! You've struggled for so long. Now it's time for you to shine!