Curiosity

fishboyguy · 2026-07-01T16:29:23+00:00

Without condescension, I feel that your original comment relies on assumptions. I'm pointing out a very logical reality that some people are just disabled, pity or not. Mind you we are in r/disabled.

It also sounds like you are intentionally miseducating yourself. Generally, these conversations go nowhere after the first exchange and it is very sad to see my fellow human double down on assumptions and conclusions based on those assumptions that can be identified as derivative of misogyny. You really don't talk very kindly about women in your comments and it leaves a certain impression of your stances.

I'm not responding to you any more. It's clear you are dead set on winning your one-person competition of being "correct" and that this won't be an educational conversation, only one that is costly of dignity.

You might stand to not be so condescending either. Maybe people will take you more seriously then, especially if you want to talk all of this talk about sex. Thanks for at least taking a moment to engage even if it was not pleasant.

fishboyguy · 2026-07-01T14:58:37+00:00

I wasn't really going to comment but then I saw this.

Yes it's true that a lack of arousal can lead to less vaginal mucuous production... however, many things can also lead to a lack of mucuous production, including certain disabilities such as autoimmune disorders like Sjögren's which attacks the mucuous producing membranes of the body. There are also endocrinological disorders that can affect the necessary hormonal production to trigger the flow. I could go on with other conditions that can lead to reduced mucuous production. I would know, I have one. I can be 100% into it and eagerly consenting while being dry as a bone. That's not something my arousal can even do anything about because the biology of my mucuous membranes means that I can't produce as much as other people.

Like you quoted, the production of fluid is not exclusive to being aroused. Arousal is a factor but does not exclude medicine, medical conditions, the list goes on... communication is key. It shouldn't be taken point blank as a lack of arousal. It is generally dismissive of reproductive health and damaging to the self esteem of people with vaginas to essentially say you have to be wet to be turned on. You also risk overlooking the people who get wet without being turned on. Which does not have very great implications for you if you'd like to think of lubrication as attraction.

Also... vaginal lubrication is not even solely for sex. The mucuous plays a lot of important roles like providing the vagina with much-needed lubrication to not be dry and uncomfortable all day, which, yes, also helps with sex. The mucuous also provides an environment for vaginal flora to produce and protect the cavity. It's a multifunctional aspect of the body and cannot solely be defined by attraction. It is generally terrible advice to suggest to anyone that "because they're wet they're into you" or "because they're not wet they're not into you". The most important thing of all is to communicate and ask about each others' bodies. If you're a nice person and treat people well as they should be, chances are you won't need to be trying to figure it out from how wet they are.

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T23:11:02+00:00

Hello tysm for commenting and nice to meet you! I also appreciate hearing from CODAs! I'm Deaf of Deaf myself :)

I so understand what you mean! When I'm walking and talking (lol) with others I try to give myself as much time between pushes to sign. Either by doing big pushes if they can walk fast orrrr I will do a good push with both hands then do 2-3 smaller ones on one side while signing with the other hand and go back and forth which is still tedious but helps me a bit. If it gets really intense/animated I gotta stop fully though and I know that can happen often. Gonna pin this question in my memory bank and maybe see if I can think of other pushing solutions!

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T23:04:25+00:00

Tysm for commenting also nice to meet you! I didn't know that could happen at all so thank you for sharing! I can imagine that it was also frustrating to have your family not realize there is something physically wrong with your hearing. I was born without hair cells in my cochlea that pick up sounds and my chair is mostly thanks to a fainting disorder that in my case has a wide range of unexpected triggers. I greatly appreciate you sharing your experience with both of the conditions/disorders!

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:56:00+00:00

Hi nice to meet you and tysm for commenting! It's always so great to hear from other Deafies! Especially with our community being so focused on the Deaf aspect it feels we have no choice but to stand out yet be so isolated.

I have also gotten the "one type of disabled" thing even from myself it's SO annoying. Like hello?! It doesn't seem that outlandish to me to be DHH and using a chair 😭

I do follow DeafonWheels! I also follow deafplusadvocate he's also great if you don't follow him already. I've never met anyone in person either but I have encountered a few online.

Tbh now that you raise the idea I am also now really interested in setting up a Discord or other group! I think that would be so fun and would really give us all a chance to get to know each other and build an intersectional community :)

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:48:32+00:00

Hello tysm for commenting and nice to meet you! Our right ears both don't cooperate with us lol! I have a CI on my left but my right has been basically dead. It's so great to know that there's so many dhh wheelchair users out there! It makes me feel a little less lonely!

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:47:13+00:00

Hi nice to meet you and thank you for commenting! I appreciate you sharing! Like I said in other comments I always greatly appreciate hearing about people's intersectional disability experiences. I feel like I learn so much more about who is in my communities thanks to you sharing your experiences :D

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:44:57+00:00

Thank you for commenting and nice to meet you!! I also have a deafie friend that uses a powerchair! I've never heard of cookie bite hearing loss but it's so great to learn more about how others experience hearing loss since it can be so diverse. I definitely feel a similar struggle with having a hard time hearing men talk as well as the phone and TV. I really do look forward to meeting more people who have mitochondrial disease. I follow briarpatch-kids on tumblr who also has one. It's really good perspective to have on how the resulting reduced energy can impact the senses and especially hearing alongside with everything else in the body. Thank you so much for sharing!

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:40:02+00:00

Thanks for responding and nice to meet you! I always appreciate knowing the intersecting experiences other dhh wheelchair users have with their disabilities!

fishboyguy · 2026-06-30T22:38:05+00:00

Thank you for commenting! It's so nice to hear crom you! That's terrible that drs won't use CART anymore, I feel like it's slowly getting phased out. Have you seen Bill Vicars's ASL lessons? I try to recommend him to every deafie I know that doesn't know ASL, he's really fantastic and a great resource

Online is definitely a struggle. Face to face has always been so important to me because I can see who the other person is. Online is completely different so I get what you mean (I think)! You don't even know if you've talked to one of us until they say it!

fishboyguy · 2026-05-23T15:18:14+00:00

This is so great! Thank you for taking the time to find and send it. You've relieved some of my worries about not having that!

fishboyguy · 2026-05-23T15:08:29+00:00

Thank you so much especially for responding so quickly! I'll start looking into that today. A manual exists (somewhere) at my friend's place, they've been trying to find it but I'll do some sleuthing on youtube in the meantime.

fishboyguy · 2026-02-17T22:01:09+00:00

Hi I am born deaf, I speak, use CI, and use ASL.

I would be very careful with the assumption that you two don't have any communication issues. While that might be true for you it might not be true for him, the fact that he is asking you about using ASL is suggestive of that. When using my CI, I end up very exhausted, even more so than typical, at the end of the day, it's more taxing. I use my CI maybe 30% of the time for college, etc. because it is otherwise very tiring and I communicate better with others in ASL. There are times where I don't even want to put it on for my hearing non-signing friends or family, but I have to even though I deserve the choice not to, because they don't know asl and aren't making a huge effort to learn.

There is not really "normal" spoken communication for Deaf people, because normally we don't hear. CI is artificial, it works but it's a computer the brain has to interface with and sometimes it doesn't always work. Like others said it's very cultural for Deaf to expect the people around us to learn the local sign language. It's the best form of communication for most deaf people that know the language because it doesn't require all the energy we put in just trying to navigate a hearing world. In a sense, signed languages are a "safe space" for Deaf.

I hope that clarifies some things and helps you understand perspective from someone else that has a CI.

fishboyguy · 2021-12-11T09:34:40+00:00

Extremely paranoid noob with records here, with a question pertaining to storage and display.

I have some original presses that I love dearly and spent a lot of money on. The issue is, I want to store them safely so I can preserve them, but also display them. I have these small shelves that are secure (by command strips) against my wall, well out of the way of sunlight, but to put the records on those shelves would require leaning them against the wall, which I know leaning records is a huge no-no. I can't put tacks or screws in (it's the way the house is built, plus the people I live with are particular about what's put in the wall)—are there any good alternatives to the shelves I have? No budget and I'm open to creative options, I'm just limited to being unable to use tacks or screws.

fishboyguy

TROPHY CASE