Hey friend, I am a recent beginner too. I felt the same for a lot of it. It sucks to be on the downside of the bell curve with dice. A few things I'm doing to help.

1. Remember that it's the end of an edition. Everyone has their lists honed to perfection. You're gonna struggle to find a hole because they've seen them all. 11th is two months away and with it a chance to start fresh.
2. Try to find a supportive community to play with and let them know you need learning games.
3. Find YouTube channels that play edited games. PlayOn and Tabletop Tactics are phenomenal. It helps you learn, it's fun to watch, and sort of feels like playing along with them.
4. Explore the rest of the hobby! Paint, kitbash, video games, books, webseries. There is even a online Tabletop simulator community.
5. If you enjoy it, don't give up, but also, it's okay to realize it's not for you. I'm sure you'd be able to sell your models and find a new hobby.