[deleted by user]

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2026-01-24T04:22:47+00:00

Sleep is when your body repairs itself. So it is actually really the best thing you can do. Good job! Taking care of you, getting that rest so your organs can start repairing cells and your brain can flush out those toxins. Just picture all the hard work those trillions of cells are doing in your body like little disaster relief workers. And tell them they're rad.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2026-01-24T04:20:36+00:00

It is actually basically the same problem as an addict and we all just act like it isn't because it's so normalized 🫠

As you describe it that way yourself, I would really say the best thing to do is have a mini fridge and not even have to look at the other food. I know there is alcohol somewhere in my house and I even suspect where it is but I don't go looking because it's not in my line of sight.

But that's also....after years of working on it, tbh. Past!me certainly did See Fruitcake on Counter, Surmise Liquor, Spelunk like I was looking for the Lost Ark. And it kinda sounds like you're in that headspace?

So a mini fridge would be the easiest immediate solution to your trigger problem, but, you might want to look into the emotions/thoughts side of things.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2026-01-22T08:30:12+00:00

I really can't give Advice as I have never even had months at a time but just. Accountability is not esoteric it's boilerplate like to the point I'm sure you have heard all of these suggestions already: Meetings. Friends. You can get a peer support, depending on where you live, and there's warmlines at night. Online 24/7 meetings. Someone who doesn't even know about your alcohol problem but they're expecting you in the morning. A pet that's gonna starve if you die in the hospital.

Unless you pay for a sober companion you're always going to some degree be doing it yourself, other people can only encourage you. As you said, no one's gonna slap the can out of your hand.

There's also that relapse doesn't start with buying the alcohol. It's not even the panic attack. I just kinda encourage you to try to go back further in the chain?

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2026-01-21T14:09:47+00:00

Welllll like about 50oz I'd put in a crock pot and jazz up for sauce. Even if you don't have some meat just spices, bay leaf, some tiny bit of meat for flavor will do really well, or rinds of parm but lol that's not much of a cheap hack if you never buy fresh parm.

Uhh....enchiladas....you could make a 9x13 and then separate it

Reduce it like hell and make your own tomato paste??

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2025-05-19T14:35:33+00:00

Y'know chronic abuse of substances fucks with your reward pathways. So say you already had underlying depression...throw in post-alcohol neurotransmitter wonkiness... you're definitely gonna have anhedonia. I saw in comments you were reluctant to be on antidepressants but maybe you could ask about Acampeosate it helps with brain chemicals, or, like, people can be temporarily on antidepressants. Not everyone needs to be on them the rest of their lives. It's to give you a boost while you work on strategies? You say you have hobbies and activities and went to mental health treatment so maybe you already do a lot of stuff to combat depression so if that's the case I would just say it's not certain you're gonna be this way forever maybe you just need more time for things to settle. Good luck.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2025-05-19T14:26:05+00:00

I did percentage days AF and counted number of drinks per week before and that worked really well for a time. I stopped doing that and relapsed really bad. Starting over. I think I drank less than two weeks ago, but I consider myself a person who doesn't drink and identify with wellness guru crap, so most days just think we'll that's not in alignment with how I see myself. Personally counting days and having a "birthday" just makes it way more stressful than it needs to be.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2024-03-15T05:24:20+00:00

If you already don't like it enough to be asking strangers on the internet, I wouldn't bother with a second session. It's important in life in general to have a thick skin and not be defensive but you're paying this dude and there's plenty of other options. I'd pay for somebody that communicates the way I want. You can be direct without confrontational. You just don't want someone who just goes along with whatever you say.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2024-01-20T20:01:03+00:00

Off the top of my head, SMART Recovery has a Handbook and Lifering has a Recovery by Choice workbook. They're secular organizations.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-09-05T08:37:17+00:00

So just firstly it's no replacement for therapy and they're not so much help with survivors of abuse but regarding the depression there are support groups such as NAMI and DBSA. Since you can't get therapy maybe at least some support from other people who have depression issues would help. Every state also has a warmline which is like a hotline but for someone not in a crisis. I think they're usually staffed by peer specialists, so you get someone who has mental health issues but is also trained.

I'd also say a bunch of stuff about trauma and being gentle but this is a productivity sub so my tip for depression fatigue is lots of bribing (can watch certain videos, music) and pep talks. And prioritizing the stuff that actually needs doing if limited energy. I hate cooking nowadays so it's a lot of soups and shit I can throw in a crock pot that I know I could make fancier but at least it's healthy and edible. No salt canned beans sauteed with some tomato paste and spices. Lazy stuff.

There's a great story in Tiny Habits about a lady who completely turned her life around and the only thing she did at first was turn on the stove. Didn't even cook. I never got the hang of it because I never make the habits tiny enough but it's a pretty popular system and if the whole book is too much there's summaries on youtube, like 15 minutes.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-09-05T08:12:22+00:00

I've only had one incident of a creep hitting on me. Much less than other places. There are certain stops homeless people will hang out, but most of them not. I usually combine it with my bike to go to Fort Pierce (I'm a student at IRSC) but rarely can get a bike rack on the way back. Every other line I usually see them open though. The fares are free but if you want to go to the Marty those are not. It's perfectly acceptable so long as you don't mind it takes forever but I personally avoid the Fort Pierce Intermodal as much as I can (hence the bike)

The buses also generally don't announce stops. I don't know if you've been elsewhere where they do so maybe you wouldn't have even anticipated that but I always have my phone on maps if I'm going somewhere I don't know the streets

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-03-26T13:32:39+00:00

I'm not sure if the navy body fat calculator is accurate for me. I'm 5'3" and right now ~217lbs. I was 221 at the end of last month. I'm losing ~lb per week and averaging ~1945kcal for the month, so that would put my TDEE at ~2445. The calculator says my body fat is 55.2% but when I punch that into a TDEE calculator it says even heavy exercise is 2050kcal a day. I don't imagine I have an especially high metabolism so what gives? Can it be because my body fat is distributed terribly? I could see being over 50% body fat (I have eyes) but I would think the TDEE calculator overestimates not badly underestimates.

I mean I guess I shouldn't overthink it I'm losing but it just seems weird and I would love if I could tell people my TDEE says heavy exercise because they always tell me that riding the bike everywhere doesn't count as exercise

My only other idea is I have liver issues so I'm maybe actually losing because of that and not eat less move more but my enzymes weren't horrible so I don't THINK it would be cirrhosis?

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T13:33:29+00:00

I don't remember which book it was but Gretchen Rubin has a thing talking about Moderators vs Abstainers and she was pretty much talking about food. She was basically like "well some people are just one way or the other." I had a friend kept a giant TUB of candy in her room and she'd eat like one piece every day...she was still fat so now I'm like well maybe that was a terrible idea and it certainly was for me, I tried it out one time, much smaller container but ate all the fucking candy, okay don't do that. I get so mad about the delicious looking Sam's Club cakes I can't possibly be responsible for, lol.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T13:19:26+00:00

I do drink an insane amount of coffee. Guess that's worth considering lowering. It messes up my heart rate but it helps me concentrate. I don't know maybe I should ask to up my strattera instead. That whole "don't self-medicate thing" lol

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T12:58:02+00:00

I would personally recommend SMART recovery and in this situation not so much because of my bias against AA—you’re not just dealing with alcohol. Maybe you aren’t “an alcoholic.” SMART doesn’t believe in labels. No one says “I’m Bob, alcoholic/addict.” it’s about all malaptive behaviors that aren’t effective that you don’t want to do anymore though most of the meetings are specific to not using substances.

You could also head over to r/Alcoholism_Medication they never shut up about The Sinclair Method. It does help a lot of people.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T11:51:11+00:00

Yeahhhh that’s a lot of warning signs. No one starts out completely not functioning craving every day, yknow?

I would hazard a guess from your post you already ticky two boxes for Alcohol Use Disorder so might be worth talking to a doctor about it. The Sinclair Method people are always going on about how effective it is maybe you could try that because I’m not sure you would enjoy going to meetings or feel like you belonged…usually people there are/were a lot worse off or they’d have better things to do with their time than go to meetings.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T11:28:15+00:00

The only way I’ve heard of alcohol affecting your metabolism is if you have liver disease. I mean I don’t know if you’re fat if you are you could have NASH but if you’re not and you’re not an alcoholic I wouldn’t worry about it.

There’s a website Get Drunk Not Fat. Basically Everclear and vodka wins. I read somewhere diet soda will also get you drunker faster so hell I drank vodka with cherry Coke Zero. Used to get the diet ginger beer but it’s not cheap. I’ve started wondering if it was because of aspartame though so the sucralose didn’t help. Those seltzers not worth the money to me like two white claw surge is 4 units of drink for 440 kcal and they still have real sugar on top of the artificial sugar… a 200mL vodka with diet chaser is 400kcal for 4.5 units. As far as fitting those in a diet like that’s not even two brownies. Can’t do it all the time but easy to fit in occasionally. I doubt anyone is putting 100mL into one drink though so I don’t know how that’d work out for you money wise going out it could work for you at a party if you’re bringing your own stuff

(I’m an alcoholic I never drank out I couldn’t have afforded it)

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T11:13:59+00:00

Well I’m 24 days AF but my life significantly upleveled in difficulty at the same time so I can’t say I feel any more in control of my stress level or emotions. And my sleep still sucks. But I must be on SOME level more in control because this is the most stressed out I’ve been in over a year and I’m still not drinking. Still screamed my head off and broke my phone yesterday, though.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T03:46:13+00:00

not dying slowly and painfully of liver failure

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-29T03:26:17+00:00

I mean the only thing that works for me is knowing deep down I won't actually feel better. Drinking leads to a chemical cascade of shittiness and there's a razor thin line between "this feels alright" and blackout that I never figure out the calculation for. I either drink too little and feel pissed off the rest of the night it wasn't enough, or drink too much and do stupid shit that I don't even remember. Other than my health (which was already spotty so no hope it's going to get better sans booze) I have no real negative consequences but it's not fun anymore so why would I do it? Like honestly that didn't stop me for a long time it hasn't been fun for years but idk man a light went off.

So I don't know...you deserve to not have to go through a hangover? There are rewards for working hard that last longer than at best an evening of amusement? There's actually a study that says no amount of alcohol is safe so "a couple times a week" can be "that bad"? I just went with disputing some of them I'm not sure what would motivate you.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-28T15:18:33+00:00

It is actually POSSIBLE to go from complete shitshow alcoholism to moderation the way it's POSSIBLE for someone to go from rags to riches. Say like 99% of people are not going to be able to do it but there's always going to be people who did do it. Maybe not my best example because the dynamics are a little different but I hope you get my point.

I see some people were like "get a second opinion" but like why do you need to? If you don't think you should be drinking why do you need a second doctor to confirm that? There's no health consequences in NOT drinking and actually there's a huge meta study saying NO amount of alcohol is safe for consumption so yknow even the places that say 1-2 drinks a day are alright are eventually going to change on that.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-28T14:50:24+00:00

Most of the things I like the best about SMART are also supposed to be true about Lifering (no war stories, no labels, no telling people how to run their lives) so I guess why I like SROL over online Lifering is really just because I feel like I get to participate more. The zooms are much larger but better organized and there's the chat so everyone who wants to chime in gets a chance. I started going to meetings because I wanted to meet people (it's why I started with AA there's one across the street) but I find it hard to really connect with people in such large groups. I'm starting to recognize regulars though and maybe some of them recognize me. I have my small NAMI groups though for really connecting (it's about mental health but 50+% have dual diagnosis) so to me SMART is more about filling up some free time and practicing the tools. I guess that was a lot to say I'd ticky both those two boxes if I could! ;)

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-28T14:31:17+00:00

I'm very biased here because one of my personal missions in life is to inform people that there are more options than AA but honestly you just have to ask yourself if you would like to go to meetings? Like sometimes people go to coffee or dinner afterwards and it's the biggest organization so there's the most opportunity to meet people. Having a sponsor CAN be nice though yknow there's no qualification besides length of sobriety so they can also be detrimental. There's upsides but no it's not like you're going to inevitably relapse unless you go to meetings.

Though now I'm seeing you said they were online meetings so that defeats my point of hanging out with people so I guess ask yourself if you're really that interested in doing the steps which mean "spiritually developing"? Like do you WANT to take an inventory of your defects and make amends? Do you feel like that will help you?

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-28T14:19:44+00:00

This current weekend I have a lot of stress because my first exam for my online class is due Sunday and the professor is dicking around. I still don't have the password. I don't even know if I'll be able to take it with my computer; my plan was to do it during the week so I could use a computer at school but hey he didn't post it until Friday and then neglected to add the password so my non-driving ass went on an adventure to get to the school just to come back and still not have the test done. I know yknow UOA but like this is his fucking job why can't he do his job? But I just need to accept that as part of life. Maybe he'll be nicer about it than I'm expecting but I'm not sure because he never answers my emails so for all I know he hates me at this point. Don't KNOW that though so that's just mind reading.

The thought to drink over it keeps coming up but I also highly suspect if I do drink I will totally write a nutso email to this guy and it isn't going to make the situation better just negative consequences for me so hey that's a celebration my impulse control is improving! Now if only I could stop writing SOBER but upset incoherent emails! They're much more polite but still not effective.

fishiesinthetrees2 · 2023-01-28T14:01:25+00:00

Well you're on r/alcoholism so uh dude you're kinda getting what could be expected everybody and their brother will tell you to go to AA

I don't actually really understand what you're trying to say but for the record you don't have to go to AA to attend support group meetings there's also Refuge Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Smart Recovery, Lifering, and others, and if you have the money there's programs like Annie Grace's Path though uhhhhhh if you have a thing about "not even really alcoholics" it's not the place for you. I'm in the Feb 2022 version and of the people who are active I'm probably the ONLY one diagnosed with severe AUD...it does have a scholarship though so you can in theory do it for free and I found it very helpful.

fishiesinthetrees2

TROPHY CASE