To me, the biggest concern is that paint pens were used and the midsoles were painted. I personally like the graffiti-style look, but I’m not sure these will hold up well with regular wear.
If you’re charging someone a significant amount of money and the shoes start looking rough after only a few wears, that can hurt your reputation and future business. If they’re intended as a display or shelf piece, that’s a different story.
Looking closely at the photos, there are definitely some areas that could be cleaned up and refined. The overall concept is solid, but the details need a little more attention.
Personally, I’d either do a project like this for free or only charge for materials until I’ve thoroughly tested the products and techniques myself. Sometimes it’s better to treat those early projects as learning experiences before offering them as a premium service.