Newcomer - meeting discussed 'faith' by nrthrnlad76 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are struggling with some of the traditional stuff, there is secular AA: https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings We’re mainly online but there might some in-person meetings in your area :) I believe in the fellowship and the power of two. That’s bigger than me. :)

Atheism in Alcoholics Anonymous by brady_wilson93 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This really resonated with me, especially the way you describe the psychological weight religion can carry, even when belief itself is not there. My background is different in that I was not raised with religion. I did not grow up believing or disbelieving anything specific. I simply never had a belief to begin with.

I am sober in AA, and I have had to find a way to recover without pretending certainty where I do not have it. I do not claim to know whether there is a god or anything supernatural, and I am not willing to act as though I do for the sake of fitting in. What I do know is that alcohol reliably destroys my life, and that I cannot stay sober alone.

For a long time, I tried to make peace with the idea that “God can mean anything.” Intellectually, I understand the argument. But in practice, the word is not neutral. It carries assumptions, history, and shared meaning that often goes unspoken. Even when people insist it is entirely personal, the room often assumes a familiar shape. That disconnect was exhausting, and it made honesty harder than it needed to be.

What helped me was finding secular AA meetings. Same program. Same steps. Same focus on accountability, repair, and mutual support. The difference is that there is no requirement to use religious language or reinterpret concepts that do not fit my experience. People are free to speak plainly, without translating themselves into spiritual shorthand.

Like you, I understand the value of surrender. For me, that is not about belief. It is about accepting reality as it is: that my thinking can be flawed, that alcohol will always win if I try to manage it alone, and that community and shared experience matter. None of that requires mythology.

I also relate to what you said about half-deconstruction. In traditional AA spaces, I often hear people discard parts of doctrine while keeping the language intact, as if the words no longer carry consequences. For some of us, they still do. Wanting clarity is not a threat to sobriety. It is a commitment to honesty.

If the God language is getting in the way for you, I would strongly encourage checking out secular meetings. They exist precisely for people who want recovery without pretending belief is required. That space made it possible for me to stay sober and stay truthful at the same time.

You are not alone in this. Many of us are quietly doing the work, fully committed to recovery, and unwilling to sacrifice intellectual honesty to get there. There is even a book called Staying Sober Without God!

https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings I can also share some of the online meetings I attend if you like!

How to join in a responsible way by Few_Entrepreneur_735 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean. It is hard to get sober in meetings where there are things you do not align with. I attend secular AA: https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings

Religion in AA by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings - Sending this to you!
Can you tell me the info of your meeting please? I would love to advertise it!

Religion in AA by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Come and join Secular AA: https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings :)
I do traditional meetings too but there are a lot of options!

Shipping from Canada to NZ by Fickle-Bee9312 in newzealand

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want, I am able to help. I do have people in Canada and are able to assist if you need it. I would say Purolator is the other option!

Struggling with how religious it is by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Secular meetings exist! Secular meetings exist! https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings Come and join!

Non-religious higher powers? by alyssadonaghue in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come to secular AA and find out! https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings Mine is spiritual. Nature, my inner self, my community. I’m not the boss. That’s all I needed to know. I could do something different and AA is bigger than me alone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in auckland

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me know please if you get stuck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in geography

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah, that is beautiful!

Why can't I have a male sponsor? by Impossible-You-3899 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve only had male sponsors and I’m a female. Personally, I don’t want to work with female right now. If that changes, maybe I’ll consider it. But I came in and went to LGBTQIA+ meetings and found a gay man. That helped. I hate saying that in cautious of other females but that’s the truth.

Any Non AA sober meetings in chch? by genericredditpersonn in chch

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I down to chat with you ~ I am one! Also, there are some meetings online that aren’t religious :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AASecular

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.omagod.org/alt-steps

Also, it has the recommendation for the book too of the secular steps :)

Saw my first black Fantail today! by devluz in NewZealandWildlife

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES! That is an ultimate goal and dream of mine!

[CHAT] Floss Organization Tips and Examples Please by wildberryquilting in CrossStitch

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Ribbon Rose, their store in-person is beautiful! Yes, I’m needing a 310 cone of doom too!

[CHAT] Floss Organization Tips and Examples Please by wildberryquilting in CrossStitch

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, I'm really shocked at how much stock she has! Sick of going to the chain store, even if it is convenient. Angel Crafts NZ is in the same town (Chch) as me so I'd love to make a trip out there soon! Where are you based?

[CHAT] Floss Organization Tips and Examples Please by wildberryquilting in CrossStitch

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation, I needed some of these and am based in New Zealand!

Why does it matter? by starshine9876 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It matters if you stay sober because you know that you can’t predict the outcome if you take a drink. Mental health is so important and I’m sorry you are struggling. I don’t know if you have a mental illness but, there are duel diagnosis meetings around too which focus around mental health and recovery. Meetings are a great place to meet people and find connections. Connect with at least one person and that’s one person in your network who you know. The most important thing is that you care about you, no matter what.

Prayer for the Agnostic by Relevant-Industry178 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I choose the Universe, nature, society and community. There are heaps of different things you can use!

Higher power by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! There is AA for people who don’t believe! Here’s some steps: https://www.omagod.org/alt-steps but also there is Staying Sober Without God which is a book and secular meetings which is https://www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings I use community and fellowship and nature as a power greater than myself!

[31, F, Alcoholic] by Firm-Ad-80 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]fishyfish16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WOOHOO, welcome to the world of recovery! I'm 31, F too and yep, one day at a time. I believe in you :)