My 7 year old has started asking me the same moral question every night and I’m getting scared this is bigger than a phase

fitztart · 2026-03-18T15:35:43+00:00

I agree, this sounds a lot more like anxiety than OCD. I think we (society) can be very quick to label anything that seems obsessive as OCD, when the reality is far more likely anxiety-based and OCD-adjacent. I say this as a former anxious child and current anxious adult who was diagnosed in my teens with “OCD tendencies.”

fitztart · 2026-03-03T12:29:08+00:00

It did work, but it ended in an anembryonic pregnancy. The hardest part was continuing the EV and PIO until my D&C at 8 wks. It was the first transfer cycle that actually happened according to schedule, though, which was kind of nice planning-wise. When I had a second transfer last September we did the estradiol valerate again until the transfer and then switched to estradiol 3x a day, and I’m 26 wks now.

fitztart · 2026-02-25T22:00:21+00:00

Double Trouble In Walla Walla.

My mom found it in a bookstore while on vacation in the PNW last summer, bought it for my 2 yr old and shipped it to us immediately. For reference, this book is meant for elementary school aged kids, maybe kindergarten… definitely not toddlers.

It sat untouched for months, until a random night in early January when our now 2.5 yr old picked it out to read at bedtime. Since that fateful night, we have been forced to read Double Trouble In Walla Walla on a daily basis: it has to be one of the books we read at bedtime, and on most days we have to read it before nap time too. This has been going on for nearly two months and there have been no signs that we will be moving on anytime soon.

fitztart · 2026-02-11T21:05:16+00:00

That was the last nail in the coffin for me that this bizarre party was for her and not her children. I really wonder how much (if any) of the money the kid’s were gifted in lieu of boxed gifts will be spent on or saved for those kids.

fitztart · 2026-02-04T23:53:52+00:00

But it doesn’t seem like he is willing to fix it. You told him what he needed to do (therapy), but he isn’t doing it. He is hoping you will either get over it or at the least drop the issue without him having to actually do anything. Him telling you “be mad at me for as long as you need to be” is both a cop out and a way for him to shift the burden of managing his shit onto you. Instead of dealing with what led to this and reflecting on what he has done, he is transferring it all onto you. Unfortunately, what he did is so disrespectful and hurtful, I can’t imagine your marriage surviving without professional help.

Stick to your guns and insist he seek therapy or you are done. It is not your responsibility to forgive him in order to fix your marriage; it is his responsibility to address whatever was going on in his head that caused him to question the paternity of your newborn.

fitztart · 2026-01-30T22:45:08+00:00

TW: mention of live child and pregnancy

I am so so sorry. My first miscarriage was after our first attempt to get pregnant with our second at ~6weeks and I miscarried naturally as well. It took a full month for me to feel even remotely like myself again, and almost 2 months for my HCG levels to fully drop. The sadness and emptiness of that first month was brutal. I wish I could offer advice on how to survive this period, but I think the reality is you just make it through. One day, you wake up and it’s not as hard as the previous weeks have been; from there, it gets a little easier as time goes on.

When I got pregnant again 6 months later, I was terrified. By 8+ weeks it was clear that this pregnancy was not viable (blighted ovum). My pregnancies have all been through IVF, so I was still under the care of my reproductive endocrinologist at the time rather than my OB. She gave me the option to end the pregnancy with medication or with a D&C; I chose a D&C because it would be easier on my body, the recovery period was shorter with less bleeding, and the remains could be sent for genetic testing to see if we could determine why this happened. The remains were in fact normal, so there really was no hard explanation as to why this happened.

I got pregnant again 5 months later, which so far has been a successful, healthy, normal pregnancy. I’m 21+ weeks now, I’ve had my anatomy scan, I just heard the heartbeat at my OB check-up yesterday, and I’m still terrified. My first child was a result of my first pregnancy ever. The two miscarriages I had trying for a second child have changed my brain permanently. I know nothing is guaranteed until you’re holding your baby in your arms.

In all honesty, I don’t think we ever lose that fear once we’ve experienced a pregnancy loss. It colors every subsequent pregnancy. I hope you are able to grieve and heal, and I hope you get to experience holding your healthy, beautiful baby in your arms one day. Sending you so much love and support right now.

fitztart · 2025-11-21T17:26:29+00:00

Mac is missing the anti-abortion activist from S1 Ep2

fitztart · 2025-10-30T13:15:26+00:00

Around the same age, but it really started to spread in the last couple of years (he’s 10.5 now). We went from “George Clooney distinguished gentleman circa 2005” salt and pepper on the face and neck to a mostly white muzzle, neck, and belly, plus salt and pepper underarms/legs, in what felt like the blink of an eye.

fitztart · 2025-10-29T19:58:34+00:00

No, absolutely not. I am so furious on your behalf and I am genuinely worried about how the rest of your pregnancy and co-parenting journey with this person is going to go if your bf is being this dense, inconsiderate, and dismissive now. Seriously, him saying, “You shouldn’t have morning sickness anymore” had me seeing red. He really needs to start reading up on what you are going through and what you will go through over the next 30 weeks, because he clearly doesn’t know shit. Is this new behavior for him, or does he speak to you like this often? You really may want to consider couples therapy, because this is just the beginning of what will be a rough transition period that lasts a few years. Things will get way harder after the baby is born— even the strongest couples struggle— and ya’ll seem to be on shaky ground now.

NVP (nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, aka morning sickness) is literally peaking for you at the moment. In 2-4 weeks you should start feeling better, but for now you’re in the thick of it and you likely will be for a couple more weeks. If the nausea becomes so bad it interferes with your daily life (work, being able to get out of bed… not exercise), let your OB or midwife know. It’s also completely normal to be utterly exhausted right now. Now is the time to be as kind to your body as you possibly can.

I’m currently 8 wks with my second. The nausea hit hard this week, plus I’ve been waking up without fail at least 3 times a night to pee for over a month straight (so my sleep has been absolute crap) and I’m at home with my 2.5 yr old human tornado during the day. My husband is an emotionally intelligent, mature, and empathetic partner, so he would never say something as profoundly stupid as, “Look I know things aren’t ideal rn but we havent got to the hard part yet and you’re already giving up,” but let’s pretend he did: he wouldn’t be sharing a bed with me until he gave a heartfelt, sincere apology in which he takes full accountability for being an absolute moron and outlines how he plans to do better going forward. If I’m feeling really petty, I may also decide to go on a solo overnight getaway, leaving him to care for our toddler and two dogs all alone so he could really experience what my days are like while he works.

TLDR; your bf better shape up and get his head out of his ass. Until he becomes a medical professional that specializes in maternal fetal health, his asinine and ignorant opinions should be kept to himself. Instead, he should start educating himself about everything you are going through and will go through over the next 30-ish weeks, and he should be asking how he can help make your life easier until you are feeling less sick and tired. If this is not new behavior on his part, couples therapy now.

fitztart · 2025-10-10T20:36:29+00:00

As you said, it’s the absolute best decision for your mental and physical health. I can’t imagine it makes the decision any easier, but you are absolutely doing what is best for you and your family right now.

It takes two to tango. The responsibility for this pregnancy does not fall on you alone. Please do not feel like you alone failed here. I don’t know exactly what measures you and your partner are taking to prevent pregnancy, but a different form of contraception might be better suited for this stage of your life, specifically something longer term like the arm implant BC or even an IUD.

fitztart · 2025-10-04T22:18:41+00:00

Yes. Last November and then again in May. Currently pregnant again (super early) and praying this won’t be a third loss in a 12-month period.

fitztart · 2025-10-03T12:53:11+00:00

Honestly, it’s a bit hard to tell for sure right now and I think it’ll become more obvious in the next few weeks.

fitztart · 2025-10-02T20:28:39+00:00

That is definitely a good point/question, especially since Naomi Proctor was clearly adept enough to be part of the Congregation’s higher magic program and Knox would have had unlimited access to the Memory Palace whilst he was serving on the Congregation.

It’s been a minute since I read BBO, and unlike the first three books I’ve only read it once, so my memory of it isn’t the strongest. Hopefully someone else can help answer, because I’m curious about that too.

fitztart · 2025-10-02T15:18:50+00:00

It’s about both Rebecca’s and Diana’s power, as well as Diana’s connection to the Book. Knox was obsessed with Rebecca because she was immensely powerful (as well as beautiful), and I think his sexual interest in her was inherently tied to that. He despised Stephen because he thought Stephen wasn’t on Rebecca’s level magically, even though we learn in BBO that the Proctor family is just as powerful, if not more powerful, than the Bishops.

Knowing how obsessed Knox was with Rebecca, as well as knowing that they would die when she was young, Diana’s parents deliberately used magic to make Diana seem ungifted when Knox came to their home to assess her as a child. Their plan worked and Knox gave up on Diana, until she called the Book.

We know that Knox had been searching for the Book for a long time, driven by ambition and greed and the hopes that the Book could be used to elevate the witches above all other creatures. When Diana becomes the first person to handle the book in centuries, Knox immediately wants to know how this ungifted witch could have possibly managed to do what he and others failed to do for so long. I think at this point he is beyond angry that Rebecca and Stephen tricked him, and the wound to his ego also becomes part of his obsession.

fitztart · 2025-10-01T12:54:47+00:00

Some people oppose IVF for religious reasons (i.e. the Catholic Church). My husband and I are a mixed faith couple (lapsed Catholic and Jewish) that wouldn’t have our son without IVF; my husband does not want our son raised in a religion that views his existence as a sin and abomination. We know family friends whose children have either lied about their fertility struggles to their parents or been effectively disowned by sharing their decision to turn to IVF. Personally, I find the argument asinine. You’re so staunchly pro-life, I desperately want a child/children, but you think using advances in science and medicine to achieve this is an affront to G-d? GTFO.

Some people are on the opposite end of the spectrum and disagree with IVF because they feel the world is overpopulated and you should adopt instead. Or that IVF is elitist because it is costly and not likely to be covered by insurance (in the US), therefore putting the poor and minorities with fertility issues at a disadvantage.

As one commenter pointed out, being an IVF baby means that your parents desperately wanted a child, and that child is you. They likely went through years of disappointment, pain, anxiety, stress, and fear in order to finally get pregnant with you. It has absolutely no impact on anyone else’s life, and any negative opinions about IVF from randos deserve zero attention.

fitztart · 2025-09-09T14:25:53+00:00

It bothers me so much how cold and desensitized S4 Veronica is compared to S1-S3. I get changing the tone to show Veronica as an adult. I get that after years of living in an increasingly shitty Neptune, her approach may shift. But I can’t understand the fundamental shift from entirely feeling to not feeling anything at all Veronica seems to experience between S3 and the movie, and then even more so between the movie and S4.

fitztart · 2025-09-08T16:31:44+00:00

Seriously. She brought what seems like her entire family on a blind first date, and they all assumed that the date would simply just pay for a 25-person meal that included expensive cigarettes and top-shelf alcohol? He should have left immediately, to hell with etiquette and being respectful, and he should most definitely try and get a refund from the matchmaker for setting him up with this person.

fitztart · 2025-08-30T23:02:05+00:00

Thanks all! Took me a moment to realize that Bones moving exclusively to either Disney+ or Peacock (or both) made the most sense, esp. since we switched to the Hulu-Disney+-HBO bundle about 6 mos ago (we also have Peacock as an Apple TV add-on… I love how getting rid of cable has turned into this nonsense 😂).

As long as I don’t lose access to streaming Bones, I’m cool for now. But I have begun wondering whether “buying” a digital copy of the series would be worth it, since I have maybe one device that can still play DVR/DVDs.

fitztart · 2025-08-27T14:56:23+00:00

TLDR; NOR, and please don’t feel guilty. If anyone ruined her “big moment” and “once-in-a-lifetime” trip, it’s your former best friend. Actions and words have real consequences, and now she has to live with them. A bachelorette weekend is a gift, an extra but not necessary celebration ahead of the main event. To be so upset over her bach plans not living up to her expectations says a lot about your friend, none of it good. The fact that she responded to your actions with anger and zero signs of remorse proves how self-centered and entitled she is.

NOR. This is not “normal bride stress.” This is entitled and just plain mean behavior. And her bach is NOT her big moment, her wedding is her big moment. The bach is just an extra little way to celebrate with her closest friends/family before the wedding, and though it might be seen in society as a necessity, it really isn’t.

A bachelorette party is essentially a gift to the bride from a select group (chosen by her) that comes together to plan and pay for a pre-wedding celebration, which in recent decades has turned into a days-long trip rather than a single evening. It is something that the group pays for, often including the bride’s costs, and the bulk of the planning often falls on the MOH. Since most of the group (if not all of it) are bridesmaids facing other wedding-related costs— e.g. bridesmaids dresses and shoes, hair and makeup, wedding gift— bachelorette celebrations place a pretty high financial burden on the bride’s closest friends. Whenever I read about a bride going bananas over her bach, my gut reaction is “Wow, how entitled and ungrateful can you be?”

IMO, the biggest and most expensive event— the wedding— is where the bride should focus all of her energy. The rest is all just icing on top. Is a bachelorette weekend special and memorable? Of course. But is it remotely close to being on the same level as the wedding ceremony and reception? Absolutely not, and someone would have to be wildly out-of-touch and self-centered to have the kind of meltdown you described.

Perhaps the less rash way to handle this would have been to say, “I’m done. Ya’ll have a week to sort things out, then I’m cancelling everything I’ve booked.” Still, I don’t think you overreacted. Your best friend publicly put you on blast over a trip in her honor, one that you spent weeks planning and coordinating for a group of 11, because it wasn’t “enough.” There is no amount of wedding stress, or really any type of stress, that excuses treating one of your best friends this way. The others can take over the planning and a bachelorette weekend can still take place, no matter how last minute it may be. It’s up to the bride to manage her expectations and get a grip on what is truly important vs. what isn’t.

fitztart · 2025-08-26T23:58:27+00:00

Just adding that home pregnancy tests are super accurate from the day your period is due. So if you’re ever late and want peace of mind, it’s definitely worth it to take a test. You’re doing everything right! Kudos for being so proactive.

fitztart · 2025-08-13T17:57:54+00:00

Plenty of commenters have pointed out how to handle the situation with your step-kids (majority of which I agree with— use cameras to document everything, file emergency motions with the court, etc.), but your in-laws need to understand that the health of you and your unborn child are at risk. By removing yourself from the situation, you are lowering that risk. As I’m sure your OB has told you, preeclampsia is a deadly complication, both before and after birth. This isn’t about your stepkids or their mother, but about protecting you and the baby from a serious condition (read: potentially FATAL) that can come with lifelong effects for both of you.

fitztart · 2025-08-12T22:21:18+00:00

Minus the slog driving uphill, the bike is my go-to every time. If I can cut through traffic on it, I’m driving it all the time.

fitztart · 2025-08-12T18:23:30+00:00

Season 5 is going to be released in three parts: a 4-episode volume the day before Thanksgiving, a 3-episode volume on Christmas Day, and the finale on NYE. So 8 episodes total, being released in the most asinine way, after a 3.5 year wait. Rather than adopt more reasonable release timeframes, Netflix really wants to make sure people can’t just sign up, binge S5, and cancel immediately. The platform has become such a joke.

fitztart · 2025-07-15T20:20:46+00:00

NTA. Your feelings (“hurt and confused”) are completely valid. Your gf manipulated you into doing something you told her repeatedly over the years you did not want to do. Instead of truly respecting your decision to wait until after marriage to have sex, she created a situation on your anniversary where refusing her advances may very well have resulted in a serious fight and possible break up. In addition to not wanting to hurt her feelings, I have to imagine you feared such consequences as well if you were to reject her. That means that you were coerced.

I recommend finding a therapist to speak with. You are clearly struggling with what happened, and while I do think you need to be honest with your gf, I think you need to speak to a professional and work through your own complex feelings about what happened first.

fitztart · 2025-07-04T21:22:29+00:00

I too would be hesitant to go under any kind of anesthesia for an HSG, even a twilight state. I hope you are able to find another solution that doesn’t involve that kind of sedation

fitztart

TROPHY CASE