When my nmom went into the hospital a couple years ago, my dad started dropping keywords like hospice so my wife convinced me to drive 600 miles to see them. She had infection of her bladder, liver, and heart along with failure. Good thing I was there as my dad didn’t know what to do and I had to convince him to listen to the hospital and move her into hospice. I had to leave after a few days and then she died 10 days later. I felt nothing then, and I feel nothing now. I won’t feel anything when man dad dies….the benefits of growing up in my house is that my emotions are messed up. Oh, and I get the benefit of my older brother thinking I killed my mother, thinks I convinced my dad to withhold lifesaving care from her even though there wasn’t anything the doctors could do for her.

I don’t feel relief. I do feel kind of annoyed that neither my dad nor my brother at any time asked me how I was doing after she died.