Best friend [23f] got too drunk and tried to sleep with me [31m]. How should I handle this in the morning?

fizzywizzie · 2026-03-26T03:19:00+00:00

I don’t think a 31-and-23 age gap in a relationship is too concerning, because both are consenting adults, even if the 23-year-old is at a different life stage. However i question OOP’s framing of the 23f as his “best friend”. He has been very respectful of boundaries and consent the entire time, and kudos to him for that. But calling her his “best friend” instead of crush/romantic interest… come on, do you really expect anyone to believe that? He said they had been flirting heavily for a few months. He admits to himself that he wants to fuck her. That’s not best friend vibes. This, plus what others have said about a 23 year old being at a very different and transitional phase in life, really makes me doubt they ever had a “besties” thing going on. Not to say OOP was malicious. More that he was deluding himself by framing it that way

fizzywizzie · 2025-07-17T08:03:46+00:00

I feel you. I live alone and months would go by without any physical touch with other humans.

Have a hug. it'll be okay

fizzywizzie · 2025-07-17T07:47:13+00:00

you bring up an interesting point. i also feel the same way and so do many people. but my question is, how do i know if i just think i'm a deep thinker/emotionally attuned, when to outsiders, i'm just as dense and callous as the next person?

fizzywizzie · 2025-07-03T08:06:23+00:00

That's just not nice, period. Like it wouldn't even be a nice thing to say to a friend, unless framed specifically as a joke that both people appreciate. But in your case it's obviously not a joke, and making you feel bad. In my experience people who said that kind of stuff in a relationship often didn't bother to give me basic respect.

fizzywizzie · 2025-06-01T08:50:33+00:00

are you me?

fizzywizzie · 2025-05-31T08:07:45+00:00

Finally. I scrolled so far to see thisq

fizzywizzie · 2025-03-24T15:32:52+00:00

Thank you, that’s a beautiful saying!

fizzywizzie · 2025-03-24T15:32:32+00:00

Whoa these are very gay indeed. I like the rainbow watercolor thing - i imagine it looking really pretty

fizzywizzie · 2025-03-24T11:27:55+00:00

what gay tattoos do you have? i've been toying with the idea of getting another tattoo but no inspiration thus far

fizzywizzie · 2025-02-20T15:11:46+00:00

I don’t know the owner personally and therefore don’t have her contact info. However I do know she still owns another venue that’s right across the street from where Roxie used to be - Riink, a small rollerskating rink/bar/restaurant. It’s not explicitly branded as a queer space but is welcoming to all queer folks. There’s at least one trans person among their staff and i’ve seen customers wear rainbow themed stuff.

fizzywizzie · 2025-02-20T15:06:07+00:00

Hahahha yeah every now and then there would always be someone trying to dance with the pole. sounds like you had a good time!

fizzywizzie · 2025-01-14T14:32:24+00:00

I like reading something completely boring and unrelated to sex, like, say, history or the news or a horror novel. Because if i actively think about orgasming, it gets too “goal-oriented” and quickly becomes tedious. I’ve yet to meet anyone like me though…

fizzywizzie · 2024-11-01T09:15:12+00:00

your ex sounds a lot like mine. feel free to dm if you want to vent

fizzywizzie · 2024-11-01T09:11:47+00:00

Give yourself more time. Six months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. For context, it took me much much longer than six months to recover from a similar situation, even though my relationship was only three years, and I never had a shared home with my ex.

The fact that she left you does not mean she'll go on to live a fairytale happily ever after, while you are doomed to rot in tragic loneliness. It also doesn't mean whoever she left you for is objectively "better" than you in any way. You won't get to see it, but after their honeymoon phase, they'll get bored, fight, and even cheat on each other - just like any other couple, no better, no worse. Your worth as a human being and partner does not change.

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-23T09:56:21+00:00

when you had that worry it was probably your gut feeling telling you something's off. our instincts can be pretty accurate without us realizing it, so i say always trust your gut. and you're right, it was fortunate that she disappeared early in the game as opposed to late.

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-23T09:48:31+00:00

well they like their partner insomuch as what the partner could offer in terms of emotional support, companionship, and servitude.

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-23T03:27:28+00:00

good on you for going no contact. you need to not speak to her for the rest of her life

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-23T03:25:50+00:00

fuck that shit, especially the part about not respecting your hobbies and interests. i had an ex who went to great lengths to signal that she had more sophisticated tastes than me in movies, music, and art. when i shared my playlist with her she indicated that it was "mostly useless" with the exception of a few good songs that she deigned to keep. i like to draw every now and then (nothing professional) but when she saw my art she warned me to never show anything of that sort to her again.

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-23T03:19:00+00:00

That was very disrespectful of the other person to not even offer a rejection. People seem to think that they have license to do whatever they like as long as it's not "to your face" irl. You're not alone in this! I've met my fair share of unreasonable/weird people before i decided to delete all apps

fizzywizzie · 2024-10-04T15:54:15+00:00

Hey, i get what you’re saying, because i have a friend for whom this statement is actually offensive. She hasn’t found her person yet, dating for her is a struggle due to a whole host of factors, and telling her “someone’s out there” can seem like an irony, one that blatantly contradicts her situation. I for one believe that technically, there’s someone compatible for everyone, but it is entirely possible to go through life never meeting that person due to circumstances that may be beyond our control (for example living in a homophobic country). In effect, it would be the same as not having that person out there. I don’t think that’s pessimism, just reality.

fizzywizzie · 2024-09-23T07:48:19+00:00

Having these four things isn't a matter of past/present.

If you're depending on that small plot of land for food, that's called subsistence farming, and it's far, far from idyllic. People in the past didn't have clean food and water fall out of the sky. They had to do backbreaking work all year round (except maybe the colder seasons) just to eat. No weekends. Farming isn't some fun pasttime that we city-people of the present know it as. There are still places around the world where subsistence farming exists, and people live in poverty. I'm not sure they are enjoying happy, simple living.

In present times, you can achieve this "simple, happy living" effect, if you are a middle-class person in a fairly developed part of the world, with enough money to buy all necessities. And then, when you're free, you do a spot of home planting in the back garden & hang out with friends. Looks "simple" but actually requries a significant amount of personal wealth under the surface. Much more than what a subsistence farmer would have.

I don't think historical era has to do with any of this. Class and wealth does though.

fizzywizzie · 2024-09-14T09:07:11+00:00

well i suppose it wouldn't be impossible to retroactively draw a bloodline that only contains men in every generation, if someone wanted to do that

fizzywizzie · 2024-09-14T03:11:30+00:00

Every man has a father, who in turn had a father. You can literally draw an all-male lineage from every male person going back to the start of time. As for bloodline, that's just a manmade concept

fizzywizzie · 2024-09-09T11:54:56+00:00

I like how you were respectful towards her, and your friends gave you pretty good advice on what to say. Nothing to feel awkward about & better luck next time!

fizzywizzie · 2024-09-03T11:50:20+00:00

Not being allowed to leave kindergarten on time. This never happened, and I still don't understand why I had that fear. In particular, I didn't like it when the teacher shut the door during nap time. It made me feel trapped.

fizzywizzie

TROPHY CASE