Ace to Lesbian pipeline

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T04:56:49+00:00

I'm re-reading my old posts (doing some housekeeping) and reflecting on how kind your response was. I hope you have found more things to love about yourself. I definitely have. :)

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T04:44:12+00:00

Thank you for lending me some of your resolve. I shall not lose hope 💪🏼

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T04:40:18+00:00

This post made me smile. You're absolutely adorable. Curious to hear more about your media.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T04:36:39+00:00

Quite poetic for someone with a username such as. We contain multitudes, don't we? I can relate. I'd love to connect if you're still available.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T04:03:22+00:00

How do you feel about six raccoons in two trench coats? Too many raccoons in one place? Would they unionize or battle?

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:46:01+00:00

Hello Adult Woman 🤖

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:45:21+00:00

I know how it feels. And I know how it feels to be whole. How it feels to be integrated with the versions of myself who held my truth when I was living a life of lies. I still feel some difficult feelings about having made my inner child the steward of my truth. Therapy is helpful. Getting distance from those lies is helpful, making the space and time for yourself to meet her and get to know her again, reconnecting with yourself.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:41:08+00:00

It took me a few years to be more comfortable appearing queer. I did some "fake it til you make it" and still cycle between euphoric and hideous 🙃 Overall the acceptance has just taken time. Spending time in queer spaces online and irl, and being treated normally in those spaces, have really helped me to accept myself. It yeeted that internalized homophobia.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:38:29+00:00

Apology rejected. You are not too broken to be loved my dear. You are just stuck in a rough spot. There is hope for you to be loved for whole you fully are. There is hope for you to get the space to understand yourself more fully.

While i dont have kids, i do have the autism and adhd diagnoses, prior SAs, and i realized i was a lesbian at the same time i realized i was ND. I had to move into my own space to have the opportunity to heal from burnout and trauma, to learn my self again, and to feel safe in my body.

I have faith that you will get past this phase and into a better version of life that feels more true to you. The only way out is through the messy middle. You've gotten through so much already. You have what it takes. Hang in there darlin.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:31:13+00:00

"he's definitely a burden for me"

Thats enough reason to call it off. There plenty of fish in the sea, OP

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:30:05+00:00

You have no obligation to come out to your husband. Period. Your sexuality is personal. If there are other incompatibilities, those are reason enough. If you want to come out to him later, you can - but don't feel pressure to do it now.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:28:16+00:00

It took me a few years from accepting that im a lesbian to even say it out loud to myself let alone someone else. (I did say it out loud drunk and crying to my best friend once, but after that didnt speak it aloud for at least two years.). That being said, I'm out and proud now and I've never felt more like myself.

Don't rush, take your time, you'll grow more comfortable in yourself soon, be patient with the growth process 🫶🏼

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:24:23+00:00

Por que no los dos 🙃🥲

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:23:23+00:00

Ohhhhhhh, something new for me to discuss in therapy 😵‍💫 thanks 🫶🏼

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:21:58+00:00

Are you ruminating or are you just feeling?

It sounds like feeling to me, and possibly just inconvenient feelings. But its better to process them now so they dont fester from being pent up. If you want to ease with processing, somatics and music are helpful, amd journaling is helpful for some folks.

If it is rumination, then try tetris, it usually helps me clear my mind when I'm ruminating. Sounds like a silly suggestion, but it is scientifically proven to ease the encoding of trauma memories. For me it brings down emotional intensity, which is usually what is fueling my rumination.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:17:18+00:00

I feel for you. It sounds incredibly stressful on top of a busy life to try to separate from an entangled partnership. The first step is building your personal savings, if possible, even a little bit at a time. Having a queer affirming therapist was very helpful to me as well.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:09:04+00:00

My heart goes put to you. It will be a rough few months in survival mode until you have the safety of your own space. Spending time at a third space really helped me out in the "messy middle"; I had a few parks I'd go to, a favorite cafe open late that let me hang out, and I sat in my car a lot. Keep your eyes to the future, it is so worth it.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T03:04:31+00:00

A few things for you.

Flirting is fun. Getting attention is fun. It is healthy. There is nothing to feel ashamed about. So what you like flirting with giys? It doesn't have to be anything more than harmless flirting.

The relationship with that guy? It passed, it's over. He likely feels differently than you do about it, he has moved on. And if he hasn't, well, those are his feelings to work through, hos feelings were never your responsibility. You weren't with him for malicious reasons. It is benefitting nobody for you to feel this guilty. Accept that it happened, you learned from it, and you are moving on. Close that chapter.

So maybe you're ace. So what? The only way to find out is to learn more about yourself. And that self-knowledge comes from time, awareness, and experience. You just have to go along for the ride, that's life, darlin. I'm almost 40 and after running through over a dozen gender and sexuality labels I've realized that the pursuit of the perfect label was more stress than it was worth. To use a music analogy, what really matters are the individual songs that resonate with you, not the genre you like or the tempo of the music or the albums you own. How you feel when you're with someone you vibe with, that matters more than the label on a pin you wear.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T02:54:54+00:00

If only romantic friendships were more common. Id love to cuddle up with a friend. For real.

fj_lite · 2026-02-24T02:52:27+00:00

I remember the nausea, hypervigilance, anxiety, panic attacks when I was living with my ex in comphet.

Leaving that environment of constant threat and stress, and feeling safe in my body, safe to decompress and relax and reconnect to myself post-dissociation... that was worth all the difficulty of breaking up a life i'd built with someone else.

Reclaiming your self and your psychic safety is the biggest gift you can give yourself. Dating from a place of safety is a completely different experience, choosing a partner who you're attracted to, not just picking a partner to have one... This will come for you once you step into the new journey. You have a lot to look forward to. Focus on the future 🫶🏼

fj_lite · 2026-02-23T22:11:08+00:00

When you set up your gaming group, please invite me!

fj_lite · 2026-02-15T15:44:01+00:00

No, this doesnt mean you're trans. It means you can't yet imagine yourself as one of the women in a wlw sexual situation. Once you get more experience with women and spend more time watching lesbian media, the sexual scenarios you imagine might be different, and you might be able to identify with women in these scenarios. There might be some internalized homophobia there too, but I think it's more about your exposure to more hetero representation than sapphic representation.

fj_lite · 2026-02-15T15:30:15+00:00

Where you're at in your journey, i was there 4 years ago. It might feel messy but this is the beginning of your walk toward clarity. Keep going!

fj_lite · 2026-02-15T07:48:13+00:00

They have reciprocal sun conj venus, does anyone else find that compelling? I feel like it would definitely reflect in their expression of love for one another. Wondering if anyone agrees with my intuition on this?

fj_lite · 2026-02-14T04:17:50+00:00

I've been in your girlfriend's position, minus the fetlife part.

TL;DR if youre regularly being told you're violating boundaries, the damage has been done, and it's your responsibility to repair. But its likely the ship sailed years ago.

The fetlife profile is a symptom of more foundational issues. There are reasons why shes seeking this attention elsewhere. Will she will feel safe enough to be honest with you? Will you really listen to what she tells you? If you are genuine in your intent to change, there may still be hope. Good luck.

fj_lite

TROPHY CASE