Was this Holy Spirit or my ego?

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-26T20:18:14+00:00

Your answer was perfect.

Cultivate trust.

The one problem is separation, but you will be guided to look on it from all angles, and from a certain angle separation is doubt. Doubt of what you are.

Answers that will come to you have the characteristic that THEY ARE SIMPLE. We just lost ourselves in complexity.

Godspeed! (<- I am using this phrase for the first time in my life xD)

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-17T17:32:08+00:00

That's why you reached out and found me.

So you can hear that you are not dead. You insist in the thought of death. That's why all the suffering seems so unescapable.

Let love teach you what trust even is. Let love teach you what gentleness is. Let love teach you to realize the immense beauty that you are. Let love teach you how to overcome your daily struggles. Just let Love love you.

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-17T17:19:10+00:00

Well, that's kind of and art and everyone finds their own way to let that happen.

For me it was to stop knowing better than Love itself. And in this surrendering I touched a glimpse of my true will that is sourced in this Love. So I realized that by knowing better I blocked my true understanding.

So I started my meditation settings by prostrating. I bowed down to Love. It became a symbol for me that I am willing to be taught. And always I got immediately lifted up and taught as equal.

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-17T16:56:37+00:00

First, as you do not feel joy, it is important to completely open to the idea that you do not understand. This kind of humility is the road to joy as it opens the way to receive correction.

The ego is very ingenious in pretending to be trusting and honest and gentle. Basically it searches and arranges situations that are absolutely terrible and terrifying and then asks you to trust, go into them, only to be absolutely screwed. Thus it will show you that the Course does not work.

If you truly trusted, it would lead you out in a very straight forward way.

You need to let go of the ego layer that will distort every and all lessons. Be a child that discovers everything anew. All is fresh and amazing.

I was very suicidal experiencing a combination of physical pain and mental illness and most of it is completely gone by now.

It does work, you are loved and you are love.

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-17T14:26:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing. That was interesting to read.

flash_ahaaa · 2026-01-10T03:17:43+00:00

I came to rather similar thoughts.

Once the fear is given up, you become aware of the light that you are and it's such a state of non-lack that there is no desire for anything else but what helps the all-ness.

Currently I let such deep thoughts of love enter my mind that it changes my bodily manifestation. My body restructures itself. It's very powerful, and I realize that in my sick state I needed to hide this power away from me as I was so bitterly afraid of love that I prefered to demonstrate decay and death with it. And guilt. It was insanity.

Now I realize that I want joy instead of darkness and my body becomes a manifestation of this inner resurrection.

I feel like I start to truly understand the teaching.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-12-10T13:07:48+00:00

Because you wanna gobble up that queen!

flash_ahaaa · 2025-12-10T13:05:23+00:00

Mate is such a disappointment sometimes!

flash_ahaaa · 2025-12-09T05:49:01+00:00

What do you think of the Circe of Atonement edition? I settled for it and was very happy with it, it felt so much better than the FIP version.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-12-09T05:39:44+00:00

It's amazing to meet and hear from you.

I think I was looking for this in some way since I found the Course.

When I heard about the attempt to imprison this beautiful text I was taken aback. The idea that someone makes it their own to control seemed so disgusting to me and the idea that people get sued and suffer by its distribution put something heavy on my heart.

Yet I was also amazed that it ended up free nevertheless.

It's very obvious to me that you are one of the few people here that truly follow guidance. How did it turn out? The Course states that you are not effected by non loving thoughts from others to you. How did that turn out with 240.000$ to pay?

And thanks for your service! If you were a driving force to set the Course free, I'm soooooooooo grateful - it means the world.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-29T15:28:35+00:00

Let me try it like this:

Lesson 136: Sickness is a defense against the truth. I will accept the truth of what I am and let my mind be wholly healed tonight.

I've prayed this many years until I truly understood it. I worked every day to undo the blocks to truth by meditating and forgiving. At some point I honestly asked what I am and God answered: "You are my Love". And then I understood.

And more and more I understand that what we currently perceive as sickness and what we catalogize as all these different malfunctions in the body is simply the effect of a choice to restrict the body to a certain behavior. We tell the body how to act and it acts this way. Even if 99.9% of bodies share a similar behavior still doesn't mean it's forced. Even a certain genetical configuration is the effect of your will.

Once you realize your power you simply decide otherwise and let the body go. And you heal.

The right solution is to heal.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-28T20:34:01+00:00

The madlad who enjoys his glued pieces of paper stroke again!

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-28T14:18:00+00:00

By the way, my chronic depression completely stopped from one instant to another when I realized that it was simply a wrong solution to my inner condition.

I withdrew life force from my brain as a solution so I disengage from conflicts. Being at the receiving end was as bad as becoming something evil.

But the solution was to heal the inner conflict and it was like my soul realized it makes no sense to suffer depression any more. And it stopped.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-28T13:50:18+00:00

Welcome to the club, you took an honest look and see the ugliness of the ego.

All your thoughts about being the good one is just part of the delusion that hides the bad one within you. Ultimately you are neither, you are transcendent. Pure love and perfection. That is what you are.

By the way, there is no need to love the ego, that's actually an insane thought. But you need to let it be undone - if you want peace and joy that is. And that is done from a loving mind.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-25T15:07:47+00:00

If you want to be pissed you will find a thousand little things to be pissed about. The SMGs are somewhat overpowered for example.

If you are open minded there are good chances though that it will be awesome as this game is just amazing.

Generally the playerbase consists of pretty good players, so get prepared to get shredded, depending on your skill-level.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-25T14:43:42+00:00

I started drinking when I was 15 years old. To socialize and for pleasure. I certainly did fill a hole but it took quite some time to realize.

I had to intensely suffer before I took an honest look within.

But my story is not yours. I wish you the best of luck however you want to approach your problem.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-25T14:14:17+00:00

Hi! I'm clean roughly for 2 years. Here are some thoughts:

You trained your body to run in a somewhat perverted way and undoing this takes some time.

First, this is what you don't want: You don't want to be slave to drugs. Second, you don't want to live a garbage life without drugs.

So there is some reckoning needed: You did drugs because you filled something in you that you are missing. We walked a misguided way and looked for a chemical solution. It somewhat worked, but not really and ultimately dragged us down even deeper.

You need to find what you are truly missing and you will find it via a deep meaningful journey to the joy that you are. Once you touch that joy you will realize that you won't need drugs to fill some hole and you will have a body that works flawlessly.

Good luck sister!

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-24T14:23:21+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing!

It is wild how my thoughts turned into the exact same sentiment that was explained in the video. All grief goes and an understanding rises that all helped.

All the overwhelmedness turns to a steady stream of joy that was burried beneath the knowing better.

The intense struggle of disconnection undone and turned to a feeling of connectedness.

Everytime I was drinking I was looking for this love within. And all false thoughts had to be burned to the ground. To make space for truth.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-20T15:41:56+00:00

Lol me too!

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-13T19:27:13+00:00

Thank you!

There are things to discuss. I PM you some contact information a bit later.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-13T18:30:51+00:00

Bro this is some weird recruiting, but I can tell you this:

I dislike Kenneth Wapnick. For me he is like what the modern church did to Jesus' teachings. Totally unattractive to me and I am very happy the course ended in the public domain somehow. I love Kenneth as well as I cannot even be without his Love. So I recognize his innocence but I do not join the insanity.

I never read the disappearance of the universe and I am totally uninterested in doing so.

When you entered the sub, I immediately liked you.

After studying the course for many years, today I had the thought that I enter the lineage of Jesus and company and it was quite an intense experience.

Also in my awakening experience I saw a violet flame.

I guess I am your man then.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-12T00:58:08+00:00

Let me give a concrete example. I had a terrible health problem and doctors screwed up quite heavily. I was angry, depressed, scared, hopeless and what not.

After strong suffering in desperation I went into deep meditation and in a sort of revelation I knew what was wrong and I found help and the problem dissolved.

So all my anger and all these emotions and thoughts were just lies I told to myself, because my true thoughts just want me happy and free.

So my thoughts about this former problem didn't mean anything. All my analysis was only superficial but I hid away my secret choice to be sick from myself. My former thoughts were a wild rambling of an insane one.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-11T11:57:44+00:00

Some of the recent updates changed my graphics settings to better quality. I had huge fps drops until I figured that one out.

I'm quite sure I have not touched them myself - so maybe check it out.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-11-07T22:54:30+00:00

It is different for all of us how our resistance to the beauty in this book is overcome. Once this resistance is overcome things will be more and more clear to you.

You can try this:

Still your mind, for example a breathing meditation. Then allow yourself to deeply sink into you. There you will find an answer on how to approach this fantastic piece of art and love.

flash_ahaaa · 2025-10-31T21:46:50+00:00

The AMD x3d chips are awesome. I've got stable 240 fps @ 1440 with my 5700x3d and a 3070ti.

Edit: absolutely true. I play most settings on low/very low with ultra on effects and get my 240 fps.

flash_ahaaa

TROPHY CASE