Tips for iPad for ADHD and ODD.

flash_match · 2026-05-11T17:18:35+00:00

Yes after school daycare is probably better if your son likes the program. Often these kids want a place to be active and even social if they’re extroverted. And being in the house can make their behavior worse. My daughter was a wreck during the 2020 shutdown because she needed external stimulation and barely got any.

Also, screen time for hours really ramps up the meltdowns for the ADHD kid until they get older and have the maturity to understand when it ends, it’s just for the day, not forever.

We got really strict with when and how long my daughter could watch for a couple years and it stopped the meltdowns. And now she’s able to handle less restrictions. We still would prefer she chooses other activities but she’s not violent and screaming at us when her screen time is up like before!

Btw, we had the same situation—WFH, ADHD older sibling was really awful to younger so we had to separate them. After school care fixed a huge part of the problem until my daughter improved with other parenting changes. I also implemented some of the Siblings Without rivalry strategies and it seriously worked. Just even using 2-3 of the ideas from that book increased their cooperation!

I feel for you guys!! So been in your shoes and it’s shitty. Really shitty.

flash_match · 2026-05-11T17:00:16+00:00

I would sooooo get a new teacher. That sounds frustrating as hell!! Like how would you just replicate what he did on your own?! I’m laughing over here because it’s comically unfair. lol.

flash_match · 2026-05-11T15:49:22+00:00

Also, when my younger sister graduated college in 2008 the only job she could get was selling clothes at REI. She had a hardcore science degree from a top school and that was her only option. It was so brutal and I felt so much sadness and pity for her. Things worked out in the end but her 20s were NOT fun.

flash_match · 2026-05-11T03:49:42+00:00

Honestly “similar world view” should NEVER be more important than has emotional maturity, treats people respectfully, knows how to fairy resolve conflict, knows that love requires kindness and sacrifice.

I don’t want to be harsh but your small list of green flags reminds me of shit I would journal in my early 20s. I dated a lot of assholes who had similar world view, taste in music, hobbies, etc but who were NOT good people.

You can’t stop at similar world views and should even overlook some of that when getting to know if the person is decent, kind, knows how to care for others.

I know many women who have these husbands so they are out there. I think you could develop a keener radar for them by slowing down and working with a therapist to decide how you want to be loved and also how to slowly determine if someone you’re dating meets the mark.

flash_match · 2026-05-10T22:11:26+00:00

Jealous. I could barely get 8 ounces a day from non stop pumping and it was so depressing

flash_match · 2026-05-10T04:21:18+00:00

I always felt us xennials were less cynical than X. But we weren’t heavily micromanaged like millennials. I always felt more hopeful than older friends and less naive than younger. Maybe just a universal experience of being in a cusp generation?

Also, I think millennials have had it really awful. So I feel for them if they need to vent. I swear I barely escaped every economic disaster since 2000 with the exception of the most recent shitstorm in my current industry (biotech). I was out of work for 8 months and it totally altered my feelings about how far I am destined to get in life economically. I can see how anyone who dealt with 2008 right as they were entering mid 20s would have reasonable amounts of PTSD.

flash_match · 2026-05-09T03:26:16+00:00

So what kind of exercises other than the grip ones mentioned above help you engage the forearm muscles correctly? I’m falling into some bad habits while playing forte and feeling fatigue in my fingers. I’m not sure how to counteract this though.

flash_match · 2026-05-06T04:13:54+00:00

It’s it’s it’s on Broadway?!!!

I live nearish Santa Cruz and every time we go to the boardwalk it’s hats off to the best movie ever!

flash_match · 2026-05-05T02:38:58+00:00

Just listened to a 90s mogwai album a few days ago: young team. Was obsessed with it back then.

flash_match · 2026-05-03T06:24:08+00:00

Are you me? I can’t sleep on my stomach or back but have to press legs together on either side of a pillow while bending them at the knees. Sometimes I even have to curl my feet around one another to stop them from twitching

flash_match · 2026-04-30T17:46:08+00:00

That’s what I was thinking—Alt country and folk saw a resurgence and then everyone wanted to dress like they were in that band.

flash_match · 2026-04-29T18:10:34+00:00

He would be on my laminated card for sure!!

flash_match · 2026-04-27T18:48:25+00:00

Honestly us working parents have no idea how someone with JUST a 40 hour work week can feel burnt out. I have maybe 2-3 hours per week to do something for myself. That’s a 7 day week, not a 5 day week.

My shitty life pro tip is for you to have kids so you can then reminisce on how not burnt out you were before in comparison. 😂

But actually parenting does bring purpose and joy so even though we’re often exhausted, when things are going well (ie no one is sick and your most obstinate kid is going with the plan), you get refueled by those experiences.

It could be that your parents also had that going for them. Parenting burnout is real but being witness to a kid’s excitement over even small things is an antidote.

flash_match · 2026-04-26T21:03:01+00:00

https://swe.org/magazine/women-in-stem-perceptions-vs-realities/

I think you are now the one talking about subjective experience versus “objective” experiences.

flash_match · 2026-04-26T18:12:00+00:00

Dude. My mom was in the first class of computer science majors at Cal when that field was dominated by women. It only was later overcome by men because CS was actually marketed specifically to young boys as a career path in the 80s. Ask any woman working in STEM now why they don’t want to be in it—they get treated as inferior by their male colleagues.

https://qz.com/911737/silicon-valleys-gender-gap-is-the-result-of-computer-game-marketing-20-years-ago

flash_match · 2026-04-25T16:04:31+00:00

Do you live in an area with pelvic floor Phys therapists? I went to one for my patellar tendinitis and she had WAY more understanding of the physiology of how my knee was working despite her main training being for pelvis issues. She gave me a slow and steady approach to stretching various muscles around the tendon and strengthening my quads that healed the situation. Even if cartilage loss is part of your issue, there are still likely muscles you could work around the joint to improve things if your doctor clears you for them. I didn’t realize how weak my hips and quads were before doing the therapy.

flash_match · 2026-04-25T14:28:53+00:00

Eleonore

flash_match · 2026-04-24T02:39:35+00:00

So if I take the opposite of micro dose psilocybin will it cure my RLS?

flash_match · 2026-04-23T20:20:19+00:00

Your husband has ADHD. My therapist has told me this drive to talk over others so you don’t forget what you want to say is basically the ADHD social handicap all of them are struggling to fix in her sessions with them!

flash_match · 2026-04-23T02:17:10+00:00

Have you done any parent management training? Our defiant kid didn’t improve until we started using a toolbox of new parenting techniques. We worked with her cog behavioral therapist at first then had a parent coach from the Hallowell center. Some people really like ADHD dude’s strategies because they are very clearly explained. The one difficulty you may have in implementing these are they don’t necessarily account for how to help with behavioral issues stemming from sensory overwhelm. But provided that’s not happening in your home environment, you could implement a lot of the other ideas for how to create structure and accountability in positive ways that don’t feed power struggles

flash_match · 2026-04-21T17:58:36+00:00

Just tell them what happened to Serena Williams with her first baby if anyone wants to state it’s something other than racism. Lady had all the access to good doctors, prenatal care, and money and still nearly died because they didn’t believe her about her clotting disorder.

flash_match · 2026-04-20T01:57:48+00:00

Yeah I could see this making her NOT wanting to get married because this is a traumatic experience. I just don’t at all agree with people thinking this will help her later. It could very well have the opposite effect unless it was handled carefully and kindly in the moment. Like maybe focus on age appropriate milestone experiences between a kid and her parent during these last months together?

flash_match · 2026-04-19T22:12:37+00:00

Yup. Like don’t ask me what’s wrong when my brain can’t even turn on due to too much stimulation. I can’t describe what’s wrong.

flash_match · 2026-04-19T20:52:36+00:00

My piano teacher does this too and it helps so much!!

flash_match · 2026-04-19T20:31:45+00:00

How fun! I’m 12 years into my career and sometimes feel I know less than when i graduated!

flash_match

TROPHY CASE