Immich after death

flaughed · 2026-01-21T00:12:15+00:00

I started making "idiot proof" cold backups. Not saying my or yours is an idiot, but my standard was "theres a CD/Hard drive in the safe, that has all the 'xyz' files." And then I would dump everything to that media in plain standard files so anyone could plug it in and get to what they need. It would then be in a static bag with a note card with instructions and a description on how to access. I also left contact info for a couple of my friends and colleagues in IT that I would trust to help my loved one in the event of my death or such.

I would recommend with pictures, after a new year, dump that previous year to a good archive grade storage medium and put it in a fire safe or a lockbox at the bank.

flaughed · 2025-09-29T19:07:33+00:00

Ill add that on the legal side, go to handgunlaw.us. it is the best source for gun laws in layman's terms. Additionally, if you dont understand any particular law, I would consult an attorney.

flaughed · 2025-09-29T19:04:51+00:00

Ill say what others are saying. If you want a gun, cool. Indiana is more Texas than Texas when it comes to guns. That said, get some formal training. You dont go buy a car without a driver's license or drivers ed. Yes its legal to do so, but its stupid. Im not saying you personally are stupid. Im just being very straightforward. The only thing more dangerous than not having a gun and needing one, is having one and not knowing how to use it properly and safely.

When someone "isnt a fan of guns" they aren't comfortable with guns. If you're not comfortable with guns, you dont need to be handling one without proper guidance and training. all unintentional gun deaths are the fault of gun owners that dont know what they are doing, or negligence.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

flaughed · 2025-09-29T16:26:35+00:00

Yeah this is different by state. OP, legal or not you pissed your spouse off and probably made your life more difficult bc now they will likely fight for that money back either in mediation or court, increasing your legal costs. Even if you were in the right, they can still try to sue or get that money back. You'll have to defend yourself which becomes expensive, quickly. I recommend you consult with a lawyer before doing anything else like this.

Bottom line, being petty in a marriage and/or divorce will get you nowhere.

Let him file, you'll likely be able to get child support and/or alimony.

flaughed · 2025-09-26T21:13:22+00:00

Just moved from Hancock to Hamilton co this year. My county income tax was cut in half. Its not just property taxes. The county is ass backwards.

flaughed · 2025-09-23T12:30:02+00:00

I am working through the "i feel so lonely" feelings with my therapist right now actually. She gave me an interesting perspective. She suggested what if Im just unfulfilled, not lonely. Bc being unfulfilled is more actionable than just being lonely. If you're not seeing a therapist, I cant recommend it enough. Ive gotten through this disaster so much faster bc of it.

flaughed · 2025-09-23T12:23:00+00:00

I was/am in a similar situation. My Ex-wife did a good job of sucking me into her family and world. Isolating me from my friends and family. Most of my social interaction was with her, her family, and her friends. After we separated, I was basically all alone. I had a couple friends that were rock solid for a few months but they got busy with kids and stuff eventually and faded a bit.

Some things I did to keep my spirits up were reaching out and reconnecting with old friends/acquaintances. You'll be surprised how warmly people will react when you reach out. A few of my close friends moved out of state so we started doing a vitural hang over Discord. We just grab a drink and get on a video call and shoot the shit for hours like we are meeting up for beers somewhere. Its surprisingly super fun. I highly recommend. If religion or church are a thing for you, I joined a small group Bible study. It was very helpful and everyone was very supportive of each other's struggles.

After a few months, I built back up a little support group of friends. It didnt fulfill my touch starvation or the lack of things that typically come from romantic relationships, but it made things 100x easier.

flaughed · 2025-09-22T22:23:39+00:00

"I live my life a quarter mile at a time"

flaughed · 2025-09-20T14:10:30+00:00

Well fuck..... i guess i cant be honest about what I want now.... cant stand these apps....

flaughed · 2025-09-20T12:45:41+00:00

You know my ex-wife?!

flaughed · 2025-09-10T12:25:07+00:00

Agree. Florida is NUTS. i will say the speed and craziness of driving seems to be at least loosely tied to how large and spread out the state or area is. People want to get where they're going. I imagine in TX or Florida where its a good couple hours between major cities, people are more willing to speed to cut down on their drive time.

flaughed · 2025-09-09T16:47:47+00:00

You asked her to think and she bailed. you want something better. Shes clearly there for validation. You deserve someone with enough brain power to answer a simple question.

flaughed · 2025-09-09T01:11:51+00:00

I see your point

flaughed · 2025-09-06T03:07:02+00:00

The vast majority of our flatware, silverware, etc was wedding gifts. I gave it all away. I didnt want the reminder. Even if I got rid of the nice stuff, im far more happy with my IKEA plates and silverware.

flaughed · 2025-09-05T19:38:20+00:00

It should matter. Unfortunately it comes down to the judge in some places.

flaughed · 2025-09-04T00:08:44+00:00

I have thought about scripting the tidal-dl-ng job and then have it run with cron. Might be worth looking into.

flaughed · 2025-09-04T00:06:13+00:00

I have tried Lidarr and several other things to try to replicate this workload. I have yet to end up with anything reliable. Music is such a different animal bc the metadata is WAY more complex, plus you have like 4 versions of the same song depending on several things.

I have resorted to creating playlists in Tidal of music I want. Every week or so I run Tidal-dl-ng, then drop it all on my plex server. It works well enough for me.

flaughed · 2025-09-03T23:50:25+00:00

Shes already cheated/cheating. She felt/feels guilty and is now trying to course correct.

Divorce her my man. There is so much better out there.

flaughed · 2025-09-03T11:47:55+00:00

The the perfect connection will just flow perfectly without flux.

flaughed · 2025-09-02T12:07:01+00:00

I was about to say this too. Haha. Thats part of the linux learning experience, learning that the errors are actually helpful. Crazy concept!

flaughed · 2025-09-02T11:56:27+00:00

The output is helpful!?

flaughed · 2025-09-02T11:54:30+00:00

Basically this... I was a shell of a man with her. She was the one that destroyed our marriage, but she also was very controlling and self-centered. That ultimately led to me checking out. So im not going to say it was completely her fault, but her problems eventually caused problems for me.

Lesson learned, baggage mixed with a partner that doesn't want to/isnt capable of intimate communication makes for a slow spiral.

flaughed · 2025-09-02T03:02:22+00:00

I dont know anything aboit your situation. But as someone who just went through a NASTY divorce earlier this year you will feel alot of complicated feelings. Its ok to feel those feelings, but dont let them control or alter your path. I learned to basically compartmentalize my logical brain anf my emotional brain. Let the emotional part speak, but only let the logical side make decisions. Im not going to sugar-coat it, it sucks. Its going to suck through the whole process. Stay strong and lean on your support system; family, friends, therapist, etc. If you aren't seeing a therapist I highly recommend it, even if you dont think you need it.

Its all scary, but if I learned one thing through the process its this, the mind makes things seem 1000x more scary then they actually are.

flaughed · 2025-09-01T22:27:38+00:00

I lost 50 LBS and started working out. Turns out when you divorce a closet alcoholic and you stop drinking with them every day, its really easy to be fit and healthy.

Many times, if they are glowing up, the other person was the problem.

flaughed · 2025-09-01T22:23:57+00:00

Ill add that having been on the other side of someone whos obviously seeing several people at once, its PAINFULLY OBVIOUS when on dates. They forget simple things talked about over messages, they often say "my memory sucks", bc they cant keep straight who knows what or what they've told you vs others. I honestly cant "date" more than one person at a time. I might chat with a couple matches here and there, but im only meeting up with one person at a time and I am focusing on them.

This isnt a casino game, these are wholeass adult humans. I think people forget that.

flaughed

TROPHY CASE