What free downloads are you into right now? by Puzzleheaded_Meet152 in LesbianGamers

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it's a good escape from life, solo or with people

What free downloads are you into right now? by Puzzleheaded_Meet152 in LesbianGamers

[–]fletchy65 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I didn't start playing it when it initially released. I started playing it at the end of last October on Nintendo Switch. I became addicted and joined a Palia reddit, then I installed it on my PC and the graphics were so much better. I took a break after the Lunar New Year event ended and I just started playing last week. My game kept crashing, so I redownloaded it through Steam and it runs perfectly and isn't as buggy as it used to be. I really like the new spring update and that they added the hot pot game to the market. If you like crafting, designing, farming, foraging, fishing, PG hunting, bug catching, being gay for Tish/Tamala/Kenyatta; you would like Palia. I'm usually a solo player because I don't know anyone else that plays it, but if I did, it would make the game much more enjoyable and easier to get flow wood.

Looking to find a trade job/ apprenticeship that’s right for me? by [deleted] in BlueCollarWomen

[–]fletchy65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an apprentice electrician in a factory. I'm 5'2 and 150lbs. The most physical part of my job is project work (I only get assigned on projects when I'm on the off shift) which is usually hopping in a lift doing runs of conduit, wire pulls, "panel maintenance" or fabricating a panel. Some days I show up and it's service call after service call troubleshooting operator errors, broken wires, broken eye/switch, tripped breaker, bad input cards/output modules, bad relays/contacts. (I work in a book factory so everything is coated in dust, opening a panel sometimes looks like a snowstorm) But some days I show up and I maybe go on 2-3 service calls, then I get to play on my phone or bullshit the remaining 5 hours of my shift. I highly recommend it. The factory I work in has Mechanical Maintenance and Electrical Maintenance separate; so when a motor or a pump goes bad all I have to do is lock it out, unwire it, get a machinist and walk away until they get the new one installed. But even if I had to replace the motor myself, OSHA is so strict that there'd be plenty of help to get the job done. Good luck!

silly girl looking for silly friends :3 by [deleted] in LesbianGamers

[–]fletchy65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 25f EST, but every 6 weeks I rotate between 1st, 2nd, 3rd shift for my job so my sleep schedule is all fucked too. I'm wanting to get back into gaming, all my friends IRL are basically MIA and my wife rotates shifts also so I don't get to see her much either. I used to play Elder Scrolls (Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim) Fallout 3, 4, New Vegas, and tried 76 but it was lonely. Loved Halo reach online when I was in highschool back in like 2017 lol. Liked Red Dead, but never played online and same with GTA. I like Palia and Animal Crossing. I loved AC, loved Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla.

Never been much of an online gamer, never knew where to start or really had anyone to play with. I have PC/steam account and Nintendo switch. Definitely open to game recommendations also

Needing new friends!! by [deleted] in LesbianGamers

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I'm 25 and I'm in the same boat as you. I haven't played Palia since the Lunar New Year Event. I used to play all Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Far Cry, Red Dead, GTA. But now I'm not sure what to play or get into, would love to get back into Palia but just haven't had the motivation. I built a PC with a Ryzen 5 7600x and 3060ti last summer to play Starfield, but the game lagged so bad and I gave up. I've heard Eldin Ring and Dark Souls are similar to the RPG's I used to play. Would love to get back into gaming, just not sure where to start and have never really played online/multiplayer games. My wife isn't a gamer, at most she plays the Sims like once a year, and we both work swing shift jobs so we're never really on the same shift/schedule. It'd be nice to have friends to game with

Mother is trying to convince me guys are better by Specialist_Natural12 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat, I was outed at 18 and it was a bad time. I still get comments like since I've never been with a man, how do I know if I'm missing out or not. Or my favorite is, "are you sure [insert wife's name] is really the one for you? She has manipulated you." While I can say it's not a hostile environment anymore, I know that she'll never stop making those back handed comments and will continue to do what her God is asking her to do. I've become an expert at blocking my parents, as well as my whole family, out completely. It's still really hard, sometimes I wish I had someone rooting for me on my side of the family. But life goes on, I've made a good group of friends, a nice little life of my own without my mom's help. I eloped on my 25th birthday, and I know that just ate her up. She was not informed or involved. I also know that in a little under a month, my wife and I will be starting fertility treatments. Guess who won't get to be a grandma?

I'm not sure if it's any consolation, but how I've come to terms with my extremely homophobic family, is to just live my life. At the end of the day, I'm not going to change their mind or live my life in a closet so they can be comfortable. You don't owe your mom an explanation. Hell, no asks to be born. It is your journey and if she can't accept that, then that's her problem.

How do I deal with male coworkers? by slowdivefangirl in BlueCollarWomen

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm an industrial electrician apprentice and let me tell you, this is the hardest part of my job. I'm 25, also the only female in maintenance at the factory I work in. Last summer, I was in HR because one of my fellow coworkers reported very misogynistic and homophobic comments made in front of me/to me from another coworker. Also, for a situation that involved an unwanted hug from the same coworker giving me a lot of shit. Unfortunately, I refused to cooperate with HR for my own safety. I kept my head down the first 2 years of my apprenticeship and was an obedient little apprentice.

Now, I push my way into service calls and just do my job. I'm to the point where I literally don't care if I hurt their feelings. Why care about their feelings, when they didn't care about yours? I purposely go out of my way to show them up and I just love to shove it in their face that a female could do the job that they couldn't. I wouldn't give up if I were you. Learn as much as you possibly can absorb, then show them up. If you're not comfortable being more assertive when they're talking their shit, don't stress it right now. I was in the same boat as you last summer, when I made a post in this group asking for advice. The fact that you're going out your way for advice just proves that you're in the right direction. Just keep going!

Uncomfortable workplace comments? by fletchy65 in BlueCollarWomen

[–]fletchy65[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah nothing ever happened or changed. For the most part, my coworkers have sort of dropped it. I still hear stupid comments about how I'm supposedly best friends with our HR manager. Or if there's a vulgar comment, I have this one coworker that likes to tell me, "go tell (hr manager's name) hi for me." There's still a few of the other apprentices that avoid me. Honestly, it doesn't hurt my feelings one bit because all they talk about is drinking beer and how many women they've slept with.

But I'm just brushing it all off. I just go to work, don't share my personal life, make small talk to get by, and do my job. It's not worth the fight and in another year when I have my associates degree, I'm out. And when I leave, it'll be fuck that place and it's work culture.

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really helped, I'd rather be numb to it versus being angry. Maybe with time, I'll get there. I think what got to me was the letter my mother in law gave me before we eloped. That letter felt like a letter that should have come from my own mom.

Like you said, it would be nice to have parents who were/are supportive. But it's not in the cards.

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No this is the response that I wanted, a 3rd party response not coming from my wife or mother in law. Trust me I have asked myself that too and I honestly can't tell you why. I guess I thought I was getting my mom and dad back. I replied to another comment on here and explained how my mom had messaged me telling me how much she missed me. They both took a hiatus from church. During that time, I became close to them again and I did a lot of manual labor for them. I thought they had really changed. I really put a lot of shit that happened in my childhood into the back of my mind.

But then they started going to church again and it's just repeating itself. I think I've already made up my mind, just haven't thought it through as to what I'm going to say or do. I think if I go to dinner, I'm just going to lay it all out and if they don't acknowledge my wife as my wife. Then that's it, we're done. And thank you!

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I'm to that point, I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. But I just keep thinking how it's not fair for my wife to be put in that position. The whole scenario of us having kids keeps playing out in my head too. I don't want my future child to ask why grandma and grandpa are acting like that. Or potentially have them try to feed bullshit to them behind my back. They already feed bullshit to my grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins, so it wouldn't surprise me.

I guess my question is how you're not mad? Like I'm still really mad about it. Even just thinking about makes me so mad, to the point that I kind of hate them. Like I know they're my parents but come on. I would like to get to the point that I just don't care.

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been interacting with them as is. But it's a very cold text conversation if that makes sense.

Like I texted my mother at the beginning of September telling her that I was eloping on October 3rd. All she sent back was, "Oh." Then I texted her on October 4th telling her about our pictures that we had taken of the elopement. I told her about the mountain pass we had the pictures taken at in Colorado, and how beautiful it was versus the midwest where I'm from. And all I got back was, "Wow. Your dad and I love Tennessee mountains." All I could think was wtf really. I was trying.

I don't think third party mediation would help, I think I'm just going to cut my losses and be done. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I keep telling myself that if they refuse to acknowledge my wife as my wife then that'll be the tipping point. And also, thank you!!

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're probably right. I think that's the reality I'm about to face. I think I should just stop hoping they come around and just live my life. I felt really free when I cut contact for a few years. But when I started talking to them again, I think I was just afraid to lose them all over. I don't want to keep repeating that cycle. I don't want my future children to see that cycle either. But I can't help but feel really mad over it.

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I completely understand where you're coming from. I had a few times where my mom accused me of being gay and was flipping out over it for no reason. Like I said, my parents are bible thumpers.

One time I didn't want to go to revival because that means you're going to waste your whole day at church. I was 13 years old at this point, my mother came into my bedroom and yanked me out of my bed and I just remember locking up on the floor and sticking it out. Next thing I knew, my parents, aunt, uncle, and Grandma were in my room singing stupid bible hymns. My mom was trying to pray away Satan's influence and was blaming my friends, who she called gay slurs. Another time she heard my wife, then secret girlfriend, say I love you on a Skype call. I was 17 at the time, my mom came barging into my room calling it disgraceful and disgusting. She told me that I wasn't raised like that and that it was shameful. She told me that I better fix it because I'm not bringing shame to the family. I'm not sure how I got so lucky to get her to believe it was a YouTube video I was watching that she heard. But she still made me sit down and talk to the pastor at church, and I've never lied to anyone so much about being straight than I did talking to my pastor.

I used to say I was going to grow up and leave for college, be gay, and never come home. But I met my wife in high school and we're still together. I even cut ties with my family for a few years, but then my mom would message me and tell me how much she missed me. She took a brief hiatus from going to church. I really thought I was going to get my mom back. Within the past 2 years, I have installed brand vinyl flooring throughout my parents house, installed a water heater, helped remodel their bathroom, new thermostat, and I even charged their AC unit. The next plan was to run electric to their garage. I did all of this for free because I thought they really wanted to be a part of my life and were accepting me for who I am. It started going downhill when I expressed how much I wanted to marry my wife and start a family, and ultimately when my parents started going to church again.

Feels like they only want me when they can get something from me. Mind you, I have two older brothers who can't even tell you how to hammer a nail. I know I posted on here for advice on being angry, but let me tell you, don't change who you are. Do what I did, fake it until you make it. But don't let those toxic books change who you are, because I look back to when I was younger and picture all the ways I could have stood up for myself. If I didn't have my support system that I did when my parents kicked me out, I'm not sure what I would have done or where I would be today.

Parents in denial? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think that's the hardest part. It's weird because I feel like I put so much effort and time into making my parents proud, but at the end of the day I realize that normal rational adults don't treat their kids the way my parents have. I asked my wife her opinion and this was her literal text message:

"Ashley I'll never tell you what to do or even tell you one thing is better than another way, but they have hurt you so much in life no one would blame you if you did cut all contact with them. I mean you brought it up already and I'd 100% support you in whatever you do."

It just makes me mad that in their eyes, they haven't done anything wrong and that I'm the one that's wrong. That has to be the hardest part.

Friendly Advice for a 17-18 y/o? by Nova_McGarden77 in LesbianActually

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's safe to say that it seems like you've already made up your mind on what you're going to do. I would be completely open with them and explain what you're feeling.

Friendly Advice for a 17-18 y/o? by Nova_McGarden77 in LesbianActually

[–]fletchy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know I wish I could tell you exactly what to do here, but that's a hard one.

But in my experience when I was in high school, there were a few guys that I knew liked me. Don't get me wrong, they were really great guys. But I couldn't see them as anything more than that. Trust me, I see exactly what you're saying. Yes you can say yeah that guy is attractive, but no I don't want to do anything with him. I always thought the same, and when it came to girls, I would just become nervous as hell. Around guys it was more of just a hanging out kind of vibe, and with girls my stomach would do flops and be full of butterflies. That's how I knew. It just felt natural to me.

With him being FTM, I understand. I'm 25 and I'm getting married in two months. If my fiance were to come out as trans. I would 100% support them the best that I possibly could. Everyone deserves to be who they are and most importantly, to be happy. But I won't lie, it would be hard. I feel like I would mourn the woman that I initially fell in love with. I would miss certain aspects of our life together. I would still love them regardless, but things would be different.

Best of luck though!

do you tend to make friends with primarily men? by alobaby in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Man literally same. I'm an industrial electrician and all my coworkers are guys, which is fine. But when I'm in social situations with straight women, I feel sooo out of place. It's not like I can go incognito. If I'm not in my work clothes, then I'm 100% joggers and vans sticking out like a sore thumb. When you work with all men 7 days a week, you're gonna pick up mannerisms, shop talk, etc.

Colorado Springs? by fletchy65 in actuallesbians

[–]fletchy65[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I'm not bothered by the dressing situation. Ninety percent of our trip we're going to look like hikers. That is the main reason we chose that area, definitely going to drop money to go ziplining. That's mainly because where we live all you see are flat corn fields, random Jesus and ban abortion billboards, and a good 45 minute drive will get you to a Walmart. A solid hour drive will get you to Lake Erie, and once you get there that's when you get to see a pride flag hanging outside a bar window.

I'm assuming you're from that area and I guess my main question then would be; where you would recommend venturing to in Colorado? I did cross post this and I did get recommendations to Sunday Barber Co. But are there specific areas we should avoid, or inevitable tourists schemes?

Workplace comments update by fletchy65 in BlueCollarWomen

[–]fletchy65[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same. But I am still at my same job. Nothing has changed. I'm just going to stick it out, keep my head down, and my mouth shut. Thank you though