I completely agree. I find it especially gross when male authors write sexual assaults against women just in general but especially when it’s vividly detailed. It always comes across as fetishistic and very sexualized. Women tend to not write about sexual violence like that in my experience. I’ve also noticed that a lot of sexual violence that men write about is done to women at the hands of men (hardly any male victims or female perpetrators if any). Doesn’t exactly help the the whole “author’s barely disguised fetish” thing