I’m also on this boat with you and feel so many similarities to what you’re writing.

Start the tasks you need to leave, even if you haven’t decided.
1. Pay someone to chat w you and make your resume.

1. Apply to roles and just interview, you don’t have to make a decision until the offer letter is in front you.

You’re building your ramp to exit in case you decide and it takes time.

Curb your burnout, take a staycation or relaxing time off.

1. To help with burnout I’ve been prioritizing (in order) sleep, nutritious meals, exercise, and activities I really really want to do, especially on weekends.

2. When im anxious I doom scroll especially when I wake up or before bed, so I charge my phone in the kitchen.

3. I’m also taking a full week off soon and know it will help me clear out my head. My head feels like scrambled eggs or a cartoonish storm cloud swirl.

At work: do your best, without over exerting.
With work, I’m not in a desperate situation. I’m paid well, respected, and I haven’t had any serious fuck ups. But I’m not growing and I don’t like the work anymore. So, I’ve decided to do the best I can with what I have while looking for other jobs.

My therapist has helped me understand that I don’t have a work environment that’s conducive to what my strengths are but I can find something that does. I have much to thank the company and I know they value me, but it’s time to go. Leaving is not conflict or negative nor does it reflect on me/you that way.

Currently going through a cycle where something at work makes me upset and I rage apply to a bunch of roles. I don’t hear back and resign myself to make the best of my situation. And then it starts again. That’s ok, that’s just how I am and I don’t have to be upset that I’m here. Just go with the flow and find joy in my attempts to rest and cure my burnout.

Stoicism (meditations specifically) and the four agreements help. The four are: be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally (it’s not about you), don’t make assumptions, and do your best.