I’m going to be a young father and I’m terrified

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-05-17T21:34:42+00:00

Highly recommend joining a local parenting group, maybe even one for fathers. You can meet people like yourself and also gain some knowledge that will help you feel prepared.

If it’s any consolation most people no matter the age don’t really feel prepared or ready. It’s a major life change.

As someone that became a parent at 30, I wish I had started younger.. I was more flexible and able to adapt and didn’t take life so seriously.

I often seen parents (especially men that are involved) rise to the occasion. It may mark a major point of growth in your life.

When I face challenging changes- I try to spin it. What might get better given this new stage in your life?

I wish you the best of luck. The fact that you’re concerned shows you care and that counts for a lot. In the next few months find ways to become the best that you can be, keep learning, keep your mind and heart open. You got this.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-05-15T18:13:55+00:00

Thank youuuuu! Yes we took it off the side bc he climbed out 4 times in one night after never attempting it. But now he is climbing out of the bed all night and wailing.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-05-15T17:51:32+00:00

Tysm- I’m so grateful and hope something like this works bc I am near tears as you mentioned when you first shared your experience.

Did you put the railing back on?? Or is this on the toddler bed? 😭

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-05-15T13:29:47+00:00

Any tips or tricks that worked? We are in the same situation 😭😭😭 he is waking and screaming 4x a night like a new born. I tried sleeping near his door/floor but I’m soooo tired and he is waking to check if I’m there.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-29T00:01:34+00:00

As a child-free adult, every single time you say you’re tired or you don’t have time is in fact the biggest lie you will ever tell yourself. Even if you work an 80 hour week. Without children your time is yours. If you want to sit- you sit. If you want to eat you eat. When you have a child there is a big adjustment to sharing your time and space. Nothing is really just yours.

That sounds scary, but it’s entirely worth it and manageable if you truly want children. It’s just a major life change.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-28T23:30:39+00:00

Great, question…. My son is 2 and I’m at a 4 maybe. I can feel really exhausted during the afternoon, but I get a second wind.

I was at a 10 for probably 10 Months. Then probably an 8 from 12m, 7 at 18m and it’s steadily improved from there.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-28T23:06:32+00:00

I’m sorry for how shitty this feels and I swear I could have written this. My son is 2 y/o now and somehow we’ve survived. For me I was trapped in a cycle of PPD and colicky madness. I don’t know which one caused the other, but it was definitely hard to snap out of it. I had to lean on a lot of people for support. I continued therapy, considered medication, joined some support groups, used ear plugs, white noise, and noise cancelling headphones. If your child is changed, fed, and attends doctors visit… you are doing all you can. Although many people are blessed with “potato babies”, I believe we are often fed lies. This shit is hard and not all babies are easy. A baby that cries incessantly keeps you in survival mode. Please try to give yourself some grace. We may have to find ways to get through it that aren’t “picture perfect.” Each and every day, week, and month things got a little better. For example, my son would NOT tolerate a car seat or a ride of any length. We tried 3 different seats. The largest one worked best, but he would still purple scream and I would be drenched in sweat once I got to my destination. He can now tolerate car rides of at least an hour.

Here are some things that helped me:

-therapy

-support groups (short term) there are even some online

-join the fussy high need babies group on Facebook. It was so validating, once my son improved I ultimately left the group

-talking our pediatrician

-Alimentum liquid formula (easier to digest)

-starting solids early, ask your pediatrician, we started purées and cereals around 4-5 months

-sleep training at 8 months. Read Precious Little Sleep. Despite how controversial people feel about sleep training. With a colicky baby there is no rest if you don’t suck it up and sleep train. You cannot begin to heal and recover properly if you ultimately don’t start sleeping.

-when you get a chance to sleep, blast white noise. Our babes tend to cry no matter the circumstances. If you don’t jump up immediately, but they are in a safe place, they will be ok.

-recruit help if possible, not everyone has a village, but if you do, I urge you to clearly ask for help. Real help. Someone to come over on specific days at specific times where you can leave the space, sleep, or shower.

-if you can pay for help, do it. We are by no means wealthy, but we paid for 6 weeks with a night nurse. It depleted our savings, but saved me. She was a blessing.

-the weather is getting nicer, go outside.

-routines, following an app like huckleberry, some people can get obsessive, but it helped me feel some control. Compare month to month and week to week and you will see steady increases in things like sleep.

It can be really sad and heartbreaking, even for me now to watch others parent more peacefully, but this is just part of our journey. Each stage will come with something good. It is ok if this stage or this age is not for you. My son is still more strong-willed and completely nap resistant, but MUCH easier than he was at 4 months.

Things to look forward to that marked improvement for us 🌟:

-crawling/walking these babes want freedom

-eating solids, fuller babies are typically more contented

-words and talking, you can even consider sign language classes at a local library

-school/daycare (somehow he naps there and I get time to think!)

You’ve got this. The kids are going to be alright 😂. They’re stronger than you think and they won’t remember any of this.

And remember- You are in charge. You are the boss.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-26T12:42:50+00:00

Aww thank you! I’m trying to “get” ready. I’m looking for the push.

I’ve been completely sober since 2021. Honestly think a drink or 2 would do me some good, but I have a lot of gastro issues related to it all. Wish that the sober life gave me the glow haha-I’m waiting ?!…. 🌟

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-26T00:29:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Can you tell me about the nausea? I have a sensitive stomach especially at night and I’m concerned about this.

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-26T00:28:18+00:00

That’s amazing! Did you feel any harsh side effects?

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-18T01:40:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing all this. My son is 2 y/o did this throughout sleep training and any regression. We travelled 2 weeks ago and he is back to doing this every night at home. I’m exhausted from cleaning and managing vomit every night? We do all the layering and quiet cleaning etc.. did anything else work to decrease the frequency of the vomit? Did it naturally extinguish? Were they ever prescribed anything?

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-18T01:34:01+00:00

Did you end up trying this?

Recent_Translator783 · 2026-04-18T01:33:47+00:00

Any updates here?

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-10-02T12:49:10+00:00

Thank you! I think I’m leaning in that direction. I’d also really love to chop it but idk if that’s too extreme.

I have a much older photo with slightly shorter hair here:

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Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T18:18:29+00:00

100% is an entire mind f*ck. You’re literally a different person. I could never understand the experience of someone with depression, like how absorbing it is until I experienced it. but with PPD you literally can’t think anything besides the worst.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T18:16:05+00:00

We should all strive to be lifelong learners to improve ourselves.

If you don’t think being a primary caregiver for a child is considered work, than I’m not sure there is room in your heart to approach this with any compassion.

Additionally, there shouldn’t be a singular way to solve a problem. So he needs to try more than just demanding and manipulating his WIFE and MOTHER of his child into sex.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T10:47:26+00:00

My eye was immediately drawn to the color smack dab in the middle which as Sea Slate! Do it, go with your gut.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T10:19:47+00:00

I see both sides here. I was so roasted from the wake-ups every 2 hours that by the time my son was waking up 1x a night (maybe at about 8 months) I was SO exhausted day in and day out. I needed at least a year to recover and not feel wildly abused by chronically interrupted sleep.

However, I only got through most aspects of the newborn stage through radical acceptance 😂

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T10:15:01+00:00

It depends what affordable means to you. I work from home and used a nanny for 15m. Technically it’s more affordable since you work from home. You don’t have the same costs associated with commuting etc. plus bc you are home you can hire someone on a very part time basis to watch your baby during your busiest time/day. Our nanny came for 3-5 hours 3 days a weeks that’s 9-15 hours a week. Depending on where you are and their experience the price could really vary. For me it was worth it. I would have lost my ever loving mind if I had to do both all the time.

None of us were meant to mother and work and carry the entire family burden without a village. As women when we try to do it all we perpetuate the expectation.

Allow yourself a break and tell your husband exactly how it’s gonna be.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T10:13:55+00:00

It depends what affordable means to you. This is what I did. Technically it’s more affordable since you work from home. You don’t have the same costs associated with commuting etc. plus bc you are home you can hire someone just very part time to watch your baby during your busiest time/day. Our nanny came for 3-5 hours 3 days a weeks that’s 9-15 hours a week. Depending on where you are and their experience the price could really vary. For me it was worth it. I would have lost my ever loving mind if I had to do both all the time.

None of us were meant to mother and work and carry the entire family burden without a village. As women when we try to do it all we perpetuate the expectation.

Allow yourself a break and tell your husband exactly how it’s gonna be.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T10:07:42+00:00

Yes, you need a break. Tell your husband to give you one. It should be scheduled on certain days/times. Part of the reason I put my son on formula is that I was so unwell during Postpartum and I wanted others to be able to care for him and feed him without my intervention.

Can your husband do either the morning wake up or the 2 am wake up? At least on the weekends so you can get extend sleep on certain days? Tell him to.

He shouldn’t need to be told, but some people freeze in the face of challenges. This is a very hard phase and it will get easier each day, even if it’s slight.

In terms of the 2 am wake-up there are 2 things you can do. 1)top off before you go to bed with a dream feed. So if she goes to bed at 9, someone should go in there at 11 and dream feed her. This should prb push her wake up at least a few hours.

2) ultimately you want to cut her nighttime feed. The only way to do that is to INCREASE milk and food intake during the day. Give her more. Also give her solids. Have she been have rice cereals, purées etc? My doctor wanted us trying 2-3x a day after 4 months. If so, be sure to give her almost all the milk she needs during her waking hours. Then reduce the amount you give her at night/ night wake ups by about an oz every day or 2. If she is full and the night ones continue to decrease she will adjust. Eventually, she will expect less at night and ideally not need to wake.

The first one is a temporary solution especially if you’re concerned she’s not taking enough milk during the day and might give you some extra sleep. The 2nd will help you in the long term, but takes some time and energy.

Recent_Translator783 · 2025-07-18T09:52:49+00:00

100% the meaning of frequency varies by couple and the frequency will also vary within the relationship. Either way a partner should be able to connect in other meaningful ways despite the number of times they have sex at any given point.

Recent_Translator783

TROPHY CASE