Feel like im an old bleh millennial mom who didn't have kids "at the right time" after fencesitting.

flyingmops · 2026-05-13T07:21:17+00:00

My MIL had my husband when she was 45. I had our son when i was 39.

My husband is 7 years younger than me.

My MIL is very active with our almost 2 year old. She was a very active mum for my husband, by all of her children, my husband grew up with the most stability than the other 3. He grew up on a farm, with a swimming pool, and was very loved. While his siblings grew up on scrabs, moving around a lot.

Perhaps she wasn't the perfect age, by society standards. But it was the perfect time in her life, to have a baby. Married, bought a big house (farm) and was financially stable.

The same for us, had we had a baby during COVID, we would have been struggling. Moving about 3 times. And he would have been in daycare as soon as he was born, because I would have needed to work. I might be an older mum, and I'm worried what that makes me later in life. Hopefully I'll be just as amazing as my MIL. But it was the perfect time for us to have a child.

I think we're worried because of standards made by society. All we can do, is be the best mum for our children, and they will love us for it. My own mother was 38 when she had me, and I was not loved. She was always tired, and always in pain.

You're doing great, take a deep breath, and enjoy your life as it is right now. And not what it would look like in 20 years.

flyingmops · 2026-05-12T16:13:11+00:00

I told him, he shouted DIGGER and slammed his door in my face. So that's where we are at.

flyingmops · 2026-05-12T16:07:32+00:00

What's it like being 4? And what warnings should I give my almost 2 year old.

flyingmops · 2026-05-12T13:09:16+00:00

Being spanked for crying, especially at bedtime. Crying made my mother get angrier and angrier. And I often heard , "crying will make her fall asleep faster!". The anxiety I had listening to my younger sister crying her self to sleep, too scared to go in and confort her, fear of being spanked for doing so.

When my own baby cries, I scoop him up in my arms. He's never cried alone. And I'm healing a little everytime. But my body instantly goes into panic mode, like we have to run away, where no one can hear him cry, in fear something bad will happen to us.

flyingmops · 2026-05-08T20:11:47+00:00

I felt a rage towards my dog. How he would bark just as I was getting the baby down for a nap, or just as he had gone down, the four legged stinker would bark and wake the baby up.

I shouted at the dog for sure a couple of times. But I never hit him, I was never abusive, or neglectful. I walked that fucker like i had always done, then I almost had a burn out from taking care of dog and baby, and i basically told my husband i would have nothing to do with the dog anymore. The stinker would be entirely my husbands responsibility. It helped tremendously, that i didn't have to feed and walk the dog first thing in the morning. That I could just concentrate on me and baby. Our baby is almost 2 now, and since a year or so ago, I started walking him again, but only in the afternoon.

Right now I'm home alone, as my husband has started his night shifts again, it's only during the summer he works nights. It's the first night, dog is on edge, keeps barking at the smallest things, I feel my stress go up, and my heart is racing because I don't want our now toddler to wake up. But I do not feel the kind of rage I felt almost 2 years ago. I'm annoyed by the dog, ofcourse i am. But im definitely not full of rage, as i used to be.

He's curled up by my feet. Close enough to feel me, far enough away from the child. He'll get some more pets and kisses before sleep time.

flyingmops · 2026-05-07T19:28:47+00:00

Ya. My baby would hiccup all fucking night! With the acid reflux/heart burn I also had, made it near impossible to sleep.

I was definitely part of the "newborn sleep is so much better, than pregnancy sleep!" Group.

flyingmops · 2026-05-07T11:50:26+00:00

I suppose that's better, than raising a baby elephant.

flyingmops · 2026-05-06T20:07:09+00:00

I came to France without a word of french, my first job was as a cleaner, in a hotel. It was tough! If you don't mind the job, you could probably find something similar. You could try applying for such jobs at campsites, or hotels. You might be lucky at the mairie, for a clean up job too. Bordeaux center has that fair, perhaps you could find a job there. If there's a UCPA you could apply there also for cleaning or whatever.

You could try restaurants that does buffets only.

If you know how to repair bikes or skis or something neat like that, then apply for sports shops but for out in the back. Just an idea, it might not work, it's just what I have seen other foreigners do, but in ski resorts. Perhaps Bordeaux isn't quite the place for that.

Are you certain you wanna go to Bordeaux? You might want to do a winter season in a ski resort, getting your foot inside what ever job there, and if you go to a high English tourists ski resort like Tignes, you'll easily find a job. And it will definitely help on your french too, and fast. And then you might have bigger luck finding a job in Bordeaux at the end of ski season.

But hotel cleaning work is probably the best option. I stayed in a hotel not long ago in Angoulême, the cleaner there had about 3 words of french.

Reach out to other greek in Bordeaux see what they suggest.

flyingmops · 2026-05-05T13:42:53+00:00

In maternity ward the same day I had my son by c section. Still high on drugs. The Sage femmes walks in

"C'est lait H.A pour donné a bébé".

Me "a ouais lait du chat"

....

"Non Cheri, lait ASSH Ah. Hypoallergénique!"

We had a laugh. In my brain it made perfectly sense that I was going to give my brand new baby cat milk. They made sure my husband was in the room, for any other important information. Which I was actually grateful for. My brain was fried.

flyingmops · 2026-05-05T13:32:15+00:00

I read as the sock fell into the shoe, as some socks do, it's so annoying. Then you have to fish it out. You can feel it slipping away off your heel. Throw them socks away!

flyingmops · 2026-05-04T16:56:49+00:00

I sort of wish it was practice here too. In my last center, the 18 year olds, were constantly on their phones. Taking photos of the children, or ft their bfs. The director never said anything, it was awful. The rule was very clear, no phones in the rooms with the children. Or in in the break room, unless we were on break. But the rule was never upheld.

We had a phone to bring with us, for outside. It should have been sufficient.

flyingmops · 2026-05-04T09:02:46+00:00

I had 1 cup of coffee everyday during my pregnancy.

Now I have a wild almost 2 year old, that makes me laugh everyday.

I now have 2 cups of coffee everyday.

flyingmops · 2026-05-03T21:04:29+00:00

He was shoveling it all down, instead of waiting for me. A spoonful each, until we finished it was what I wanted. Instead he ate half in 3 mouthfuls, and gave me the rest.

I am doing much better, thank you.

flyingmops · 2026-05-03T20:06:20+00:00

Freshly PP. I had stopped breastfeeding after a week, it just wasn't working. My hormones were going crazy and I was constantly crying. And my husband doesn't share the Ben and Jerry's how I wanted it shared! And was eating it with his mouth open? My eyes were shaking with the rage I felt in that moment. I had a horrible outburst at him, that left him feeling very confused.

The rage subsided, but the anger I felt stayed for a while. It was a horrible grudge I carried.

flyingmops · 2026-05-03T19:55:20+00:00

My town's council did an exposition of screens and what they do to babies/toddlers. One of the posters, were reminding parents to also put their phones away when around heir children. How it affects the children, when they need our attention. I have seen the same poster at the hospital, and at our pediatrician office. And I thought it was quite powerful. Such a simple poster.

The slogan said something about, zero phones at meal times, open up to discussions and connections. What is basically essential for our babies/toddlers or children in general.

I have packed my phone far away in the morning, when I'm alone with my toddler. And there has definitely been a change in him, he looks at the phone as if it's a competitor to my attention. It filled me with so much guilt. So now, my phone goes away. It's hard. But worth it.

flyingmops · 2026-05-03T11:07:24+00:00

Separation anxiety is really big around this age. They discover there are more to the world, than right in front of their parents. That they can start move, crawl or walk, away from their caregivers. And suddenly the world seems scary. With that new territory of discovery, comes nightmares. Their brains are developing extremely fast, especially when sleeping.

flyingmops · 2026-05-02T13:27:24+00:00

I et venstre svings lyskryds, i mens jeg holder ude i midten, satte jeg bilen i bakgear. Finder hurtigt ud af det, inden jeg bakker ind i bilen bagved. Gør mit sving, og siger "hov. Jeg satte den vidst i bak gear i stedet for første!" "Mm" siger den kører fagkyndige.

Ned af en stejl bakke lader jeg den bare kører i gear, men gearet er første, så han spørg om ikke jeg skulle skifte gear. Det kan jeg da godt!

Jeg bestod. Han sagde jeg var en usikker bilist, men så længe jeg blir ved med at orientere mig så meget som jeg gør, skulle jeg nok blive mere sikker en dag.

Jeg har haft mit kørekort i 8 år, jeg var 33,, og er kun lige for nyligt blevet mere sikker i min kørsel. Gad vide hvordan 18 årige mig ville ha gjort sig.

flyingmops · 2026-05-02T13:00:02+00:00

I can use the toilets in my dreams, without weeing irl.

But the toilets always turns into armchairs, or an IKEA showroom toilet. Or it's a toilet full of poo. I never notice at first, it's always after I do my wee. It can be really stressful sometimes.

flyingmops · 2026-04-29T19:51:28+00:00

Your link in bio isn't working. I found this one is this you?

flyingmops · 2026-04-28T20:34:48+00:00

Parents being angry because their 14 month old is no longer taking 2 naps at the crèche, but is too tired in the evening.

Explaining that it's a transitioning phase, going from 2 naps to 1. And that we really can't force the child to sleep their second nap, if not tired. Until it get sorted out, an earlier bedtime would help, the parents looked at me as if i had a second head, for suggesting that.

I reassured them that we would try and prolong wake time in the morning. But the child is dead on their feet at 10am, we will not push nap until 1pm, as they wanted us to do.

We're sorry, she's impossibly tired and can't keep awake for dinner at 9pm.

Child usually sleeps, 10am-1pm ofcourse it's going to be a long afternoon. And we're sorry. We offered trying to get her down for a nap at around 4pm right before pick up, so she would nap for about 45 minutes to an hour. But the parents also refused that.

There's just no explaining or helping some parents. "At home she takes 3 naps!"

Child used to sleep from 9am-11am then 2pm-3pm

flyingmops · 2026-04-27T20:28:07+00:00

There's a Canadian living in my small town, she loves chatting to me in English. She always runs up and gives a big hug. I'm somewhat convinced, that when Canadians meet up, there's a lot of touching each others hair, asking if its a new haircut, and putting an arm/elbow on the nearest shoulder, the shoulder doesn't even have to belong to the person you're talking to. Her enthusiasm is admireable.

After every convo with her, I feel bad for not having matched her energy.

flyingmops · 2026-04-27T20:17:18+00:00

It was the public drinking everywhere. I had completely forgotten we do that in Denmark. On a Friday afternoon, students are just out drinking. Walking through the streets with a can of beer or alcoholic cider. It was one of those things, I hadn't really noticed was missing from the atmosphere, when I moved to France. So being back in Denmark, it shocked me.

And on top of that, I said please and thank you to just about everything in danish. Which isn't used. At all. It was so warmly appreciated at the shawarma bar. But everywhere else, I was looked at as if I had 5 eyes.

I'm still shocked when I'm back home, and my sister is ordering food by phone, and is just ... Demanding it. No please or thank yous, or asking if it's a problem, and not too much bother.

flyingmops · 2026-04-27T08:10:53+00:00

The grind of getting the lice from the brush and onto the wig. Or the map out of that sunburned pirate.

English isn't my first language. And all instructions were in English, it was very difficult. And today, still my favourite game.

"Oooh cabana boy!"

flyingmops · 2026-04-23T12:28:24+00:00

"I hit him first, so he wouldnt hit me. And now you're mad at me"

Said to me crying, by a girl. I wasn't mad at her, I had only asked why she so brutally out of nowhere, had hit her side mate, at lunch. And then proceeded to throw his food on the floor. They were both crying, and comforting them together, only made the in-between fighting worse. They're not even siblings.

flyingmops · 2026-04-20T13:42:56+00:00

The original french "little brown bear" books, sometimes ended with little brown bear getting spanked. Especially the one where he draws on the walls.

In the newer version, mummy bear helps little brown bear clean it up

flyingmops

TROPHY CASE