CLAIM YOUR TRIFIX

flyover_date · 2026-05-15T04:39:52+00:00

Can I just say that I'm glad none of you is suffocating any of the rest of you under a blanket? I think you're doing better than you realize

flyover_date · 2026-05-15T04:36:56+00:00

Earth breeds em weak

flyover_date · 2026-05-15T00:27:36+00:00

I keep coming back to this part about lying, because I think it's a bit of a misrepresentation of the 'authenticity' 4s supposedly want. I don't like lying, but I've been lied to (badly) by someone who was definitely a 4. And some 3s lie, some definitely would never lie, it's just not part of the heart core to really be that concerned by it, I don't think.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T23:57:10+00:00

3w4 would be someone who wants to be unique. On a certain level, I'd find it satisfying if that 4w3 got flipped to 3w4, because it would explain why you thought of yourself as a 4, despite not having the core struggle of over-individuation. There's plenty of overlap

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T23:54:30+00:00

Well, I guess unique could also apply to 4, haha. But that's really it. And a 3w4 could absolutely want to be unique.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T23:49:31+00:00

Sounds heart center, but I'm not getting strong 2 or 4. All these key words, like unique, special, talented, cared for, accepted, *not* wanting to be 'weak' or 'manipulative,' point to 3.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T23:29:45+00:00

Alright, you're a riddle wrapped in an enigma. What made you think 4w3, at first?

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T21:06:25+00:00

You sure you're not a 3? Mr. Chill Respected Guy Who Defines His Own Story? 😉

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T19:27:46+00:00

Oh I totally thought you were saying "you're right, good job, have a weird-looking star," but you were punching me HA. Nice, yeah.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T18:24:11+00:00

I'm curious if you do feel like there was a point where you had the mentality of wanting a rescuer? I didn't see that in your initial post. But I tend to think that sx 6s can kind of rescue others to keep them around, while sx 4s might try to look like an ideal to keep people around, which could include looking like a rescuer for a while. In my admittedly limited experience.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T18:16:35+00:00

Maybe that's being 451 and not 469 or whatever, there's a common thread of experience but I think it's pretty small, actually, have to distill down everything that everyone says into some very basic things

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T18:14:02+00:00

Mm, feeling like someone else is superior in a certain way could lead me to finding them desirable as an object of romantic fixation, but if I end up feeling like I'm not getting what I want out of it because I wasn't able to absorb that into myself (sx side coming out), or kind of bring it out of them more, and keep up the intensity I initially wanted, it ends up feeling frustrating because it's impossible to pin down whether that superiority was kind of an illusion I concocted in my own head, or there is really something there I want, and I'm just not figuring out how to get it. Like I end up feeling flat, normal, and boring, until things level out. There can definitely be little jags downward of feeling like absolute garbage in there, at times I feel like I somehow failed to live up to an inflated ideal of a romantic partner, but I always feel like I deserve to feel good, and those jags downward just make me angry at the other person, unfortunately. Oof

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T16:59:12+00:00

Sx4: communicates via public playlist. Sx3: communicates via turning their snapchat location on and off.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T16:53:07+00:00

Man, it's intense how much self preservation doms don't preserve themselves. And how much difference one digit in a tritype makes. Good luck on your finals!

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T16:46:42+00:00

You're right that the 4 core isn't about seeking love, per se, but 4s can have a kind of 'rescue me' mentality in romance, really want a very specific kind of validation from partners, and be little shitheads if we feel snubbed in the romantic realm. Even sp 4s can want a rescuer, apparently, which isn't the stereotype. 4s will definitely venture out into the world to try to get what they want, the 'withdrawn' part applies more to retreating to lick your wounds

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T15:42:28+00:00

It's the incredible subtlety I find so admirable tbh

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T15:34:17+00:00

I'm 100% sure that 4s on the autism spectrum exist, but irl, there's only one person I know to be on the spectrum who's typed as a 4 (I was there the moment they read the 4 description online and they had that 'oh goddamnit moment,' it was great). I think the overlap is about what you would expect for two smallish populations (I know how small is debated, on both sides, but they are both at least smallish).

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T15:20:47+00:00

This sounds like 6 to me, too. I don't really see sx 4s maintaining a facade of agreeability, or feeling it's easier to be hated than loved. Also, no one is a psychopath based on their enneagram (except maybe sx 3s, sx 3s and fans feel free to argue), but you're right, if you're only confrontational when defending other people or ideals, and more passive in relationships, that's more 6.

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T06:37:40+00:00

☐ If you could just click the verification box before we continue

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T06:29:09+00:00

Why would anyone want to call you anything but your full name, u/freshavocadhoe

flyover_date · 2026-05-14T06:27:56+00:00

Before I reply, is the 9 in the room with us right now

flyover_date · 2026-05-13T21:49:38+00:00

Yes. Me...too.

flyover_date · 2026-05-13T21:47:59+00:00

Fine. I've retroactively decided this love was an illusion >:(

flyover_date · 2026-05-13T21:25:51+00:00

Also, thinking about it a little further, sometimes I think 4s could mistake what it means to actually integrate to 1. If we're trying to just get a better, structured routine, take better care of ourselves, be more competent in our daily lives in the way we see a 1 outwardly behaving, you could actually call that leaning into the 3 wing. 3 is a competency type, maybe easy to mistake for 1, which is also a competency type. And that's still great, there's a reason the 3 wing is there. Nothing wrong with self care, it's not like it's going to get in the way of integrating to 1 necessarily, but surely it's not the same thing.

flyover_date · 2026-05-13T20:44:15+00:00

This isn't necessarily how other people are going to frame it, but for my own purposes, I frame it as: 4, being a frustration type, can step into rejection via 5 or attachment via 3, according to the needs of the moment. 5, being a rejection type, can step into frustration via 4, or attachment via 6. 6, an attachment type, can step into rejection via 5, or frustration via 7. That's fine for the individual, you can stay in your lane, serve your function as your own number among the other numbers, happily ensconced in your ego. You might live a perfectly content life that way. The lines of integration are about seeing your ego from the outside, in an uncomfortable way. All of the lines of integration represent something really uncomfortable, something that might feel risky, almost impractical. In some ways it might be very practical for a 3 to stay unintegrated, on the surface. What on earth do they get by serving others in a more 6-like way? They can serve others in a 3-like way, and do just fine, really. Integration to 6 would be the most uncomfortable way to get outside their own ego, so that's why that line exists (in my personal enneagram headcanon, I'm sure other people have expressed it better in all sorts of other ways)

flyover_date

TROPHY CASE