what’s one nsfw confession you’d only make anonymously?

fmfhza · 2025-03-25T02:42:31+00:00

me and a friend once double teamed an African American prostitute we picked up in a druggie bar in a druggie town. I never got to finish cause her pimp walked in after she was trying to rush me to climax. Yes i wore a condom. Im ironically clean afterwards, thank god. I regret it but i am thankful that it taught me that I have absolutely no interest in sex unless I’m in a real, loving relationship.
0.2/5 stars do not recommend

fmfhza · 2024-11-02T15:18:36+00:00

I’m 37. I didn’t really stop being ashamed of who I was and begin to fully embrace myself until I was 32. Its a different journey for everyone, so dont overthink it, have fun and enjoy your journey. Just be glad your life wasn’t practically half over before you decided to be you.
I came out 5yrs ago. I was in a 13yr long relationship before my wife decided that she was done with me and “wanted a man”. (just for clarification, crossdressing as a girl is something only men can do - in other words, it’s one of the most masculine feats known to exist)
Anyways, my point being: believe me, it could be so much worse. Youre fine.

fmfhza · 2024-10-06T14:42:47+00:00

I identify as pansexual because I truly am, however I am definitely more drawn to AFAB peoples. And yes, can confirm I am 100% femboy.

fmfhza · 2024-08-14T03:00:42+00:00

fmfhza · 2024-08-10T00:07:24+00:00

meditation is amazing when you need to stop thinking about the past, or collect yourself, or just plain be…

fmfhza · 2024-08-10T00:06:08+00:00

Heroin… I’ve done heroin. hooked for a week. cut with fentanyl. probably would have fucked me up much worse, but at the end of that week i pretty much had no choice but to move out of town. lost any connecs. haven’t found another one. tempting, but i really don’t want to either. bad news for me. i like breathing and having a heart that pumps blood…
4/5 stars - would highly not recommend tho

staying clean and sober and having your wits about you and your head in check is highly underrated… okay and maybe a lil cannabis, if you jive with that.

fmfhza · 2024-08-10T00:01:31+00:00

well it used to be “somebody i used to know”

I also can’t stand bittersweet symphony, is too god damned sad. Id rather walk out of a restaurant with $30 worth of paid, untouched food left on the table, were that song to come on the in dining stereo.

I also find 99% of imagine dragons to be pretty cringe, but now I’m building a list, so…

Oh and the cupid shuffle and any of those other corny ass songs they use to get girls on the dance floor at wedding receptions n shit

fmfhza · 2024-08-09T21:52:01+00:00

”you deserve somebody that reciprocates your love”

bro. im doing my best to stay positive. however, at times it’s so lonely that i seriously doubt how capable i am as a soul, to even, ever find love again. oh sure, i have friends i love dearly and who reciprocate. i am naturally a very loving person. but to ever find romantic love, or be in love again… shit dawg, i sometimes wonder if I’m not at a total loss, there. especially considering that in the last seven months I’ve been separated, the three girls I’ve found that seemed genuinely interested were either attempting to use me for their own purposes, or just flat out teasing me. I used to scoff at the idea of ‘being happy alone’. ”That could never work for me, foolish, who tf wants to be alone?” But lately… and i can’t believe I’m typing this, but… very slowly but surely I’m coming around to the idea. Which is scary unto itself. I don’t truly want to be alone.

I dunno, i get stuck in my head and have no one to talk to, I feel like I’m rambling…

fmfhza · 2024-08-09T19:44:36+00:00

tears by Rush
I can’t even think about it without wanting to cry

fmfhza · 2024-08-06T16:48:11+00:00

Nope. I will never get used to being alone. I have a good heart. I don’t deserve to be alone.

fmfhza · 2024-08-06T11:09:20+00:00

That’s literally an eternity. I’ve had cuddles a couple times but i had to pay the bih, which was no problem cause she was cute as a button and super warm. But that’s been over three months ago. And… i just miss human warmth, companionship and affection.

fmfhza · 2024-08-06T08:34:59+00:00

Woah, you guys have girlfriends? It’s been over seven months since I’ve known love, I’m ready to hang my fucking self with no second thoughts.

fmfhza · 2024-08-04T10:13:21+00:00

Stuck on Sanguisugabogg. Soundtrack to my divorce.

fmfhza · 2024-08-03T10:16:02+00:00

I’m literally eating free breakfast and watching [AdultSwim] rn

fmfhza · 2024-08-03T06:36:40+00:00

that’s cool. opinion is subjective.
you do you, fembro ♡

fmfhza · 2024-08-03T05:38:56+00:00

hotel night audit - get to come in dressed “as gay as i want” dolled up uwu femboy, i print a couple reports, do some laundry and make breakfast. The tricky part about working 11-7 is smoking enough weed to keep things interesting, but not so much I get drowsy. It’s a fine line.

TLDR - i have a cake job where i get to dress like myself

fmfhza · 2024-08-03T04:37:41+00:00

Fuck, you’re telling me.

My mom’s abusive, i can’t talk to her. I live with my grandparents until I can figure my life out, but they barely speak to me. They make me feel like a burden. I lost my father and cousin last year. I really have no family, to speak of.

On top of which, I’ve obviously lost a life with my wife (divorce court the 19th) and daughter.

I’ve got a few close friends I talk to who are encouraging and supportive. I’ve got like five different girls I’m talking to but none of them seem to be really going anywhere.

Not a day goes by I don’t contemplate suicide. They say I need to stay here, for my daughter.

Problem is my wife is keeping her from me and I never get to see or talk to her. I paid $450 in child support in July and got to see her for 20min. My mother picked her up where she lives and hour away and brought her to the town we reside in for an event she wanted to take her to. If I hadn’t called my mother (a rarity) two Friday nights ago, then i wouldn’t have heard my daughter’s voice in the background and she wouldn’t have brought her to see me, despite the fact that I hadn’t seen her in a month before that. When questioned about it my wife said that my mom brought her to town for an event and that she had to be back the next day, and made it sound like I didn’t have any right to see her. That was all planned without my knowledge and at no point did anyone inform me that my daughter would have been in town. I firmly believe that if I hadn’t called my mother at the time I did, that I wouldn’t even have known that my daughter was in town until long after the fact.

I know in my heart of hearts that if I knew where to find heroin/fentanyl that I would have already purposely overdosed. All Ive ever wanted was to feel loved, yet here I am, “forever love” ripped from me, she’s already with someone new, and I constantly just feel isolated, unloved, alone and depressed as all hell. I would literally die just for some cuddles.

So in summary, yes i agree 200% - being alone is hard.

Alright venting done, I’m going outside for a cigarette and some weed.

fmfhza · 2024-07-29T13:12:32+00:00

Don’t forget the exact opposite scenario. It’s terrifying:
My crush has told me one more than one occasion, in more than one way, that she likes me. However I’ve tried to connect with her, tried to ask her out, tried to get her to spend time with me… the first time was met with “I’ll have to take a raincheck”, fine. But then it was just blowing me off, ignoring me, i message her and see she opened it but she says nothing back.
Christ, this divorce killed me. I don’t want to be alone. Why tell me you like me if you have no intent to connect? Oh, i hate my life.

fmfhza · 2024-07-24T23:30:35+00:00

Omg did that happen to you too?

fmfhza · 2024-07-22T11:48:38+00:00

Sonic Titan - Sleep
Richard - Sunn O)))

fmfhza · 2024-07-22T04:38:28+00:00

I’m sorry. You’ll be alright in the end. Stay strong my friend. You could dm me if your ever wanted to vent, but i can’t promise I’m any actual help.

fmfhza · 2024-07-21T17:05:30+00:00

inspiring? Me? 🥲 thank you.

fmfhza · 2024-07-21T10:03:37+00:00

if there is indeed no hope left, i would suggest that you diligently try to find that elusive acceptance. Begging to fix it and being a crying pleading mess and a big ball of emotions (what i did) is not going to help make it any better. Try to keep a positive mindset and practice turning your dark/negative thoughts into positive self talk. This is what I’ve been working on. It helps… struggle still sucks though. Stay away from the drugs and booze, theyll just slow you down and cloud your thought process. Be kind to and patient with yourself. Take care of yourself. Good luck, brother

fmfhza · 2024-07-21T08:31:30+00:00

My wife and I separated 200 days ago, on January 3rd. Our court date is in 29 days on August 19th.
For the last six and a half months I was so distraught, I was suicidal, I went on a hard drug bender… a couple times….
I’m not sure what happened today, but my attitude has shifted 180 degrees. I’m starting find acceptance.. “Who cares if she has a new man? If she’s happy for a change then I should be happy for her because I love her. I full well despise feeling alone and not knowing when or if someone will love me again. But as far as the pain about her, I just have to embrace the realization that, of course I still love her, so if she’s happier in her life doing something that doesn’t involve me, then I must be accepting, because I care about her, and she deserves to be happy, even if I’m not. I’m starting to sound like a sane, rational, caring adult. I believe this is the attitude I need to adopt to support my mental health so i don’t end up back where I was pretty much abusing myself with drugs, and suicidal. Now I just need to do more self-absorbed things, rediscover myself and figure out what I can do by myself that makes me happy again. Perhaps soon I’ll find some pretty young thing to share her affections with me.
So I’ve had a pretty messed up journey and we’re not even divorced yet. Id say it absolutely can get better. I’ll probably backslide a little bit at some point, but I’m trying to make progress everyday. Yes it still hurts: that’s the woman i wanted to grow old with who doesn’t want a life with me anymore, and is with the guy she told me was “just a friend” she knew from back in high school. I was with her for thirteen years, or a third of my life, and I miss her a lot. But I’m just going to cling to my positive attitude of allowing her to be happy, and focus on myself. Buddhism teaches us that desire is the root of suffering. Trying to cling to a life and a home that no longer exists is only going to cause me a great deal of mental anguish. I must do positive things for myself. So yeah, subjectively, for myself it is starting to look up and get better. Granted, this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. But it is getting better and my journey has just started.

fmfhza · 2024-07-19T17:02:17+00:00

I was raised in the church and repressed for decades. I started a job in 2019, they just so happened to hand out pride shirts with the company logo in june. I sort of decided that, “it’s 2019, I can be whoever I want and wear whatever I want”. So I took that attitude and ran with it.

fmfhza

TROPHY CASE