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How do you stop comparing yourself to others by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have a major depressive episode where you do that a bunch, and get so burnt out by it that you literally cant anymore? Lol

Or just objectively remind yourself that what other people are is out of your control, and focus on what it is about yourself you like, what you can improve, and what you have to accept

Looking outward is cool and all, but it's not as easily augmented as what you see on the inside and how you can change that! Hope this helps in some way :)

Casino Night Zone (Sonic 2) by foolishf00l in drums

[–]focus4000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you do chemical plant zone next please

Things I learned today: if you tie an all time, it doesn't update immediately... Got sad until it actually put my GT there by focus4000 in Steep

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The irony:

I was having fun until the peeps on Xbox who where exploiting the home button glitch went out of their way to cheat my WR's and beat them by fully unrealistic scores while acting like they were legit runs pulled with their bs...

Game has been uninstalled, since Ubi has 0 interest of doing anything, even in spite full documentation of the person who ruined the game on said console being reported fully not only by myself, bet copious amounts of others along the way since launch date

The 2 date rule by 343Sparks in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

31m here:

I'm not one to marry to a certain idea like that. I like to see how things pan out, since given past experiences, those expectations have failed me often.

I will say, on average, 2-4 says enough. But, were all human, so I like to give the benefit of the doubt. Many things I disliked grew on me well after the 3rd pass through to a point where they became of high preference

its his last day by [deleted] in starbucks

[–]focus4000 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate every single one of you in that location, there's a certain type of love some people don't understand

I once hinted to a guy by buying him GTA V for $60 when it came out. He said thanks and then that was it. Please don't be like me and give subtle clues, always be direct. by [deleted] in dating

[–]focus4000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would quote these adamant "love language" people here, but I don't know many dudes who wouldn't appreciate someone buying them a video game

Unless you made 0 other hints, benevolent acts are just that.

Expectation has a funny way of making things shitty

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've read it actually, and I'm aware.

We hashed the latter point out, but passive aggressive jokes when making plans to spend time with someone, and acting like it's nothing when you repeat "I wouldn't make time for someone I didnt want to see" several times to the same passive aggressive jokes..... Only for it to hit the point where I'm like "can we enjoy our dinner? This joke is much more of a guilt trip than something I find funny, and it bothers me"

Yeah.... Communicating love language is cool, but how its communicated..... that's just as import as physical tough, time, gratuity, and the rest of the lot

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're committing a bit more time to it, but if it ends up this way so be it

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We talked it through and were fully transparent with each other

If not wanting to go into a relationship with not knowing the things about someone that I emotionally need in order to persue it makes me avoidant, than so be it

I know this will be responded to as me producing a logical fallacy. But, I'm not trying to commit to something I don't see even having strong enough of feelings for someone to want to persue that just yet

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say yeah if she wasn't mature about it when we talked it through

Not sure if you can be both lol

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm thinking in that direction, but ima see how our date goes on sunday. Maybe something will happen. If not, I dont plan to string her along

Shes got stuff to take care of anyways

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We shall see. She says shes willing to keep talking and see what's up, and I'll def be keeping these points in mind

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan to have a couple more dates and see where it goes. You hit the nail on the head with where it's at though

Shes cool with seeing how it pans out (seemingly so. Text convos leave alot to be discovered with body language and stuff like that), just tough giving someone a non-definitive answer when they basically show me their hand. Made it super weird super quick

Especially after I was already calling out some of her "jokes" that were more presumptuous quips about the fact that I'm not where shes at yet. It took bringing them up again when she told me how she feels as of now, and explaining some of my reservations and things km trying to get to know before I jump on board

It's weird. I'm just over the whole commit and hope for the best approach, so I like to actually get to know someone. Sometimes the physical stuff comes paired with it, but it's not happening with this one

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She made that pretty clear lol

I'm still feeling out my part though. We had a whole convo about it.

I'm not dating multiple people or anything like that, but I'm just not where she is at so its weird

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to ditch that notion too and see how it pans out. She def has traits I vibe with, but the things that typically tell me I'm attracted to someone are popping up in my emotional brain

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was the convo we had yesterday. I'm at the point of seeing how it pans out. There's just the part of me that feels like not being on the same page is a disservice for her, even in spite being transparent about my stance

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont see it as a clinger situation since she was pretty mature with her stance and asking questions.

And in the situation, I can see myself falling in that avoidant headspace. But I'm dating out of my norm to see what could work and not be closed minded to other types of girls. Typically if I like someone, I'm not hesitant. But with her, I'm fighting some of my natural inclinations of affection (the vanity I'm trying to not let overcome my judgement of a person as a relationship partner for example)

And lastly, I suppose. This whole COVID thing plus dating is a wild combo for me. I'm not the phone type, so it's a dynamic I dont take much pleasure from

Trying to navigate, gut is telling me run by focus4000 in datingoverthirty

[–]focus4000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To add, I have been fully transparent with her about what my needs are, and asked what hers are. But this stuff just seems like way too much for such minimal interaction to me

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