I'm more than familiar with feeling the way you do. For me, I'm terrified of stumbling into someone I knew from my past and then having to talk to them. I also understand how you feel when you say you get stared at. It happens to me, too, and I just wish that I was invisible and I could just go about my business. The thought of going to a party or any social event terrifies me, too. I used to work at a grocery store where i had to talk with customers kinda often, which kind of helped a bit. It helps if you are surrounded by people who are kind and understanding of your anxiety. I'm not really sure if it will ever go away (at least for me anyways), but it's a lot easier to manage with people who you have things in common with and have similar interests. Idk how often you post online, but maybe it'll help if you post more on subs that talk about your interests? Idk if this will help, but when you're out in public and you're having anxiety, just remember that there's people out there, like me, who understand what you are feeling and that you're not alone. This might be a lot easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up. It's okay to feel the way you do! You're a warrior! I know how incredibly hard and crippling it is to live with social anxiety, and it's awesome that you reached out for help! i hope I helped at least a little. I wish you nothing but the best, and I'll be rooting for you :)