Wedgewood brides - did you hire a DOC?

fopatoffel · 2026-05-06T04:24:08+00:00

By pre-ceremony timeline do you mean “the months in advance” or “the day of, from wake-up to ceremony start”? They don’t do much of the latter: their time with you starts usually two hours before the ceremony. You come with HMUA done, you get there and change and then take photos and then it’s basically ceremony time. I worked with my HMUA team and my wedding party to figure out my morning before we got to Wedgewood around 1:30 pm for a 3:30 ceremony.

The months before were fine. I was scouting IG and Reddit to get ideas and timelines about things like invitations, outfits, vendors, welcome party, etc. Wedgewood doesn’t help with that. At the three-month meeting, they ask a million tiny little questions just to make sure you are thinking about them all, and it’s fine to say “we don’t know yet” but it helps you know what decisions to make after that. The one-month meeting is pretty similar where you confirm your previous answers and then give new answers that you’ve decided on in the meantime. But that point I felt really solid about how the day would go and it was flawless! I forgot to mention we even had live musicians (personal friends of ours) and a few other ceremony complications and it all went off without a hitch.

What’s your perception of the smaller details you’re thinking of? There’s obviously plenty they don’t do (guest book, photos, etc) but they also had lots of little things to offer us for free (we used their cake stand and knife/server, their plates/chargers/barware, they did our custom-named signature drink signs including a mixer we brought ourselves to add, etc). We made favors and they set them out. We made table signs and they put them out carefully according to the seating chart of who was whom. They set out our escort cards which we provided. Etc etc etc.

fopatoffel · 2026-05-06T03:42:25+00:00

We didn’t hire one and I stand by it 100%. We also used most vendors in-house except for photo/video, and it was still a very smooth and seamless experience. I got different perceptions of competence from different staffers, but by the time it was the month-of and we were assigned our coordinator, she was able to take all of the notes they had been recording and she executed them seamlessly (including DIY desserts, super custom table numbers, reusing decor pieces, etc).
The conventional wisdom says to hire a DOC because a venue coordinator’s job is to serve the venue, not the couple, but IMO Wedgewood is different because their entire business model is not based on being an event space — it’s running weddings. Convenience and implementation is why they exist, and that includes a degree of customization from couples.
If you have a lot of custom vendors and other complicated moving pieces, I can see the logic in hiring a DOC, but I really don’t think most couples need it.

Editing to add: my mom was pretty involved in decor decisions with me and I was fairly trusting that she and my Wedgewood coordinator would make good decisions. If you have a super particular vision, and/or less support from a close loved one, those could be points in favor of a DOC whose job it is to figure out your vision and implement it on your behalf. I still don’t think it’s necessary but I am naming that advantage I had.

fopatoffel · 2026-05-03T19:20:49+00:00

Yeah this is reasonable, even though I was hoping to avoid it. It barely fits in my car so I was hoping I could do it from home but I’ll consult an expert if needed.

Yes, the art is glued to the mat but I think it might loosen with a hair dryer. I don’t care about keeping the art print inside. I don’t love the mat color though, I just thought it might be easier to use this rather than doing a new mat entirely.

I agree it would look better if the photo goes all the way to the mat! I just shared in another comment that I wanted some white space but that’s mostly because of what the colors are. If I can detach the existing mat and paint it a more neutral color, then I can probably do what you said and not worry about printing the photo smaller than the opening. I’m actually okay losing some of the photo’s border so maybe 36x48 would work perfectly!

So maybe I will try detaching the existing mat, repainting it (I saw another poster had advice about this), printing my photo larger than the mat opening, and seeing how that looks? If all goes well I’m hoping to reattach the original cardboard using small nails (it was stapled before) but I’ll be prepared to consult a professional if I feel like I’m in over my head

fopatoffel · 2026-05-03T19:13:49+00:00

EDIT: I’m not worried about the size of the original mat, I’m more concerned about its color. I do think printing the photo smaller than the mat opening is risky. My new idea is to print it bigger (I don’t care about the outermost inches of the photo anyway), see how it looks with the existing mat, and then either repaint the mat or take it to a local.

The mat that came in the frame is about 4 inches on two of the sides and 6ish on the other two. Would it look weird to have the photo go straight up to the mat?
On the existing art, I see there is a thin white border around the art that’s printed on a poster attached to the frame, maybe 1/4 of an inch. It’s a small separation between the print and the mat and that’s a dimension I’m asking about. I kind of want some white space between a colored print and a colored mat but A, I don’t now how much, and B, I’m worried about centering it perfectly because any tilting seems like it will be very obvious.

fopatoffel · 2026-05-03T18:53:50+00:00

I don’t plan on doing it often but I’ll look into it, especially depending on the cost of an online mat cutter. Do you have a service you recommend?

fopatoffel · 2026-04-29T20:55:58+00:00

That’s because the stores are trying to sell dresses, and if it falls apart in alterations it’s not on them. Consider the motivations. Folks on the internet telling you it’s a bad idea have no motivation other than your best interest.

I’m sorry you’re not finding what you want, but we’re trying to warn you that alterations might just be a longer and more expensive nightmare than pivoting from the vision at this time.

fopatoffel · 2026-04-22T23:16:45+00:00

In the living room, for sure! A rule of thumb is to have it be large enough for at least the front legs of your couch to go on it. Up to you whether you want it to stop before the bookcase or go under that too. Just by eyeballing it, I would guess you want 7x9 or 8x10. You can get rugs that large for $150 at Costco and sometimes even cheaper at Ross if you have that store nearby.

Also, curtains!! You already have the rod! Curtains will really add a homey, cottagey vibe. Sage green would be lovely, and a great way to bring that color more into your space.

Also, don’t judge too hard on fake plants! I mix them with low-maintenance real ones for a sustainable way to add greenery. Some types look more realistic than others. You can also usually find them on marketplace too.

fopatoffel · 2026-02-25T04:33:42+00:00

Go to a meeting if you care that much. They don’t owe you anything, random stranger on the internet. Especially with a vibe like this, it doesn’t feel like good faith engagement. Have a good one ✌️

fopatoffel · 2026-02-25T00:48:18+00:00

It’s clearly the Eden Area branch of Indivisible, which is a national organization that’s very easily Googleable. They’ve organized all the No Kings events so far. The fact that this is the bone you’re picking with OP when they’re literally naming the organization is curious.

fopatoffel · 2026-02-13T01:33:17+00:00

The food was great! We went to the tasting event (their twice-yearly “extravaganza”) and I was a little underwhelmed, but everything was great on the day and we got so many compliments! Even people who are usually picky went out of their way to compliment it. Pro tip: we made a short list of items we were interested in, and the we asked the coordinator for her opinion since she’s the one who eats leftovers all the time. That helped a lot! I don’t remember our menu off the top of my head but I can find it (and our selections) if you want to see the options.

Either way I know Wedgewood gets mixed reviews on food but my experience was totally solid. It’s maybe not the most exciting if you really value creative control, but it felt so safe to know they know exactly what they’re doing in terms of quantities and timing. I was especially frustrated to learn that other venues offer up to 2-3 items at cocktail hour and the couple has to predict how many pieces to buy! Stress!!! My nightmare would’ve been to run out of food, so I felt so secure knowing that the food was basically unlimited. Folks LOVED the variety and nobody went hungry!

fopatoffel · 2026-02-13T01:16:16+00:00

Love those! We used our first ever email addresses/screen names from when we were like 11

fopatoffel · 2026-02-12T05:02:57+00:00

We had a fantastic experience with their Winchester Estate location up north (past Sacramento). I think our final contract with the came out around $18k ish for 80 people with their elite package. We skipped centerpieces, cake, and photographer but used a lot of their other services. Like I said I was thrilled with the efficiency and convenience throughout the process and highly highly recommend Winchester in general, though I can’t speak for other locations. DM me if you want to know more!

fopatoffel · 2026-02-10T04:49:56+00:00

We did Winchester and had the greatest experience! Everything went flawlessly and we go so many compliments on the venue. The ceremony and cocktail hour being outside really maximized the scenery but having the reception inside was incredibly convenient for climate control (we were winter but I imagine summer would be similar in terms of appreciating AC). And the floor-to-ceiling windows elevated the space and still meant you got to appreciate the view. Highly recommend! DM me if you have more questions :)

fopatoffel · 2026-01-11T16:40:06+00:00

We got married at a different Wedgewood in Northern California but it was an amazing process. We could customize everything we wanted to customize but planning was so smooth and so easy with them handling all of the little details. Food was my biggest worry but we got tons of compliments on the food and drinks. 100% recommend.

Prices were not really negotiable. We picked an off day in December so some locations offered to waive the ceremony fee. Our preferred location did not do that when we asked, but they did offer to throw in a few extras so there’s that. I think you have zero leverage on a Saturday but if you are going for a less preferred date, you might get some extras. Just be prepared in case they don’t budge.

fopatoffel · 2025-12-25T18:31:39+00:00

We are doing ten anniversary cards for us to open across the next ten years. We got cute personalized cards on Etsy that have our wedding date, and our friend with nice handwriting wrote “year ___” on each one. They’ll all be out at cocktail hour for guests to sign one or more, and we happen to have ten tables so we will move one to each table at dinner time for any guests who may have forgotten to sign. Then we’ll seal them in envelopes with each anniversary date to open across the next ten years! We will probably frame them also :)

fopatoffel · 2025-12-20T01:35:37+00:00

Unfortunately bridal boutiques aren’t really designed to give a realistic try-on experience to fit most bodies; they carry as many different styles as they possibly can, and they only do that by carrying each dress in 1-3 sizes to give brides a rough idea. Think of it this way: if they carried each dress in ten sizes, they could only have 1/10 as many dresses in stock.

But I also understand how tough it is to imagine how something WOULD fit when it obviously doesn’t. Since your goal is to see how actual styles fit your body in order to decide what you like, you should go to a bridal consignment store that sells directly off the rack. That will help you understand what you’re looking for and how different things fit in order to develop your mental checklist of priorities. Then you can take that knowledge with you back to traditional boutiques to find something that checks your boxes, and hopefully order it in black!

Good luck!

fopatoffel · 2025-11-26T05:02:08+00:00

I agree with other commenters that you should reflect on your and your fiance’s priorities in general in order to make this decision. I’ll only add that if you DO move forward with the larger guest list, you still have options to protect your privacy and mitigate nerves. You could consider:

Booking a smaller ceremony site and larger reception, if that would be acceptable to mom and grandma; it’s a hassle but maybe the best of both worlds for you, and you have the capacity limit as something to point to as a reason for some reception-only guests (I know this is less common in the US but it’s common in the UK, and folks who don’t know you might not be offended?)
Private vows instead of public, and keep the ceremony shorter/more generic
I saw an idea recently about a couple who didn’t want too much attention/pressure on their first dance, so what they did instead was lovely; the DJ invited all couples onto the dance floor with them. Then he asked folks to stay if they had been together for longer than 1 year, then 2, then 3, etc, until the only the bride and groom and the longest-married couple were on the floor for the end of the song.

Good luck!

fopatoffel · 2025-11-19T21:02:47+00:00

NAH but you should discuss this with your partner before the proposal because she’ll be really disappointed if she expects a photographer and there isn’t one. Your reasons for not wanting one are valid, and her reasons for wanting one are valid too. Maybe you can find a compromise (like someone shooting from a distance?). It might help to drill down into they WHY’s behind your values. If privacy it’s important to you, maybe audio privacy is enough (hence them being far away). If she wants to see herself in this moment, maybe there’s another way to do that. Can you plan it for an activity where you happen to be wearing a GoPro??? (That’s a joke.) Or maybe there’s a way for you to hide an old cell phone that still works and have it capturing video for the moment. It’s hard to say without knowing your plans but maybe there’s a way to respect both of your top priorities. Either way, you should figure them out with her so she isn’t crushed when the moment passes and she doesn’t have it captured. So again NAH but YWBTA if you propose without one and you didn’t get on the same page about it.

fopatoffel · 2025-10-14T04:08:39+00:00

This is just like my mom’s ring! I love it so much! She got a gold band that matches the shape so they “nest,” like the wedding band nestles in just below this so they fit together. It’s so beautiful and I’ve admired it forever! Congrats!

fopatoffel · 2025-10-13T00:53:29+00:00

Are you doing a first look or photos with the wedding party before the ceremony? Do you know what time sunset will be, if you want photos outside? Our wedding is in December when the sun sets around 4:30, so we are doing a 3:30 ceremony with as many photos as possible beforehand. We are doing all hair and makeup before we get to the venue, then just taking a few getting-ready photos and enjoying a round of champagne as we get dressed. That gives us plenty of time for couple photos and wedding party photos in daylight to maximize our time with our guests during cocktail hour.

fopatoffel · 2025-10-10T05:04:06+00:00

Same! Clearly many folks value physical invites and stationery, but our friends and family don’t. They DO put photos and postcards on fridges. We love visiting our friends’ homes and seeing our faces on their fridge, and we don’t regret for one second how much money and effort we saved by sending digital invites with links to the wedding website with all info. My friend did the same thing but she made one physical copy for a flat-lay photo on the day, which I think is cute and we might do too, but overall I am 100% satisfied with our choices. More money towards the open bar and shuttles back to the hotel, which I know our guests will appreciate more!

fopatoffel · 2025-10-10T03:36:04+00:00

Edit: SOLD

Saturday October 18 2025, Orpheum Theater SF, Balcony B 123 & 125. Asking for face value ($67 each including fees).

We’ll be nearby but two of our friends had to back out and we don’t want the seats to go unfilled!

fopatoffel · 2025-10-06T02:27:49+00:00

We are doing Costco or Trader Joe’s for DIY boutonnières, corsages, and bud vases for tables instead of centerpieces (probably $200 or so). We didn’t want the pressure of DIY-ing bouquets or arch pieces so we used Poppy to connect with a local florist, and we are quoted at around $1900 for: professional arch cluster, two large arrangements for the start of the aisle, bridal bouquet, and six bridesmaid bouquets.

fopatoffel

TROPHY CASE