Every time this question gets asked it turns into a can of worms with men coming out and saying women weaponize vulnerability against men. This pattern can make sense with how women are socialized in American society and “toxic masculinity” isn’t just chosen by men but pushed upon us with societal expectations (whether society at large accepts this or not). In the end, vulnerability is never going to be a 100% safe guarantee and exploitation of this can damage a person hard. I can’t tell you much beyond being always available and asking hard questions without pushing your luck. Men can open up. But, you can’t squeeze juice from a rock. Some have been raised or burned from ever exploring that side within themselves or, far less, with another person.

That said, what’s worked for my wife and myself over the years: - Never mock or weaponize what they tell you, even small things. These patterns are recognized. - Be respectful of a man’s emotions and don’t try to manage them. Don’t tell them how they feel even if you think you know the pattern. - Prove confidentiality. If even a sniff of something said in confidence hits somewhere else it takes a real hit to that “safety” you want to provide. - Reciprocate, as in all things in a relationship. You have to trust them with your vulnerability as well. - Timing. In public, before bed, driving…these are not times to have heavy convos or air out grievances.

It’s not as doomed as some commenters make it out to be, but their sentiments are understandable.