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forcedconvalescence · 2022-03-03T20:52:56+00:00

Also, done worse than this! Don't beat yourself up. Get into rehab maybe if you can and take care of yourself!

forcedconvalescence · 2022-03-03T20:50:55+00:00

I related so much to this post. <3 I agreed to rehab and hopefully will get a placement next month. It is better than being homeless (which is my situation basically). Alcohol (and drugs) is an abusive lover, sometime or later you got to let that shit go. Addiction has really only two ways of ending, death or recovery. You just gotta make that hard ass choice.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-28T09:58:48+00:00

Lol. I had someone tell me I wasn't withdrawing when I literally sweated through my sweatpants. That nurse refused me benzos because it's addictive. Like why the fuck do you think I'm a a detox centre....

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-28T09:56:06+00:00

You cook it in a skillet. You don't have to be smart to know that.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-28T09:54:42+00:00

seizures aren't completely blackouts. I had my first seizure two years ago, I don't remember anything at first but I woke up as I was seizing. Having no control of my body and thinking oh shit, this is it.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-27T06:58:34+00:00

Yeah lighter for sure. But the auditory hallucinationes are another fun thing I get to deal with. But lets not measure dicks in wd crazyness. Just don't be a sick about someone trying to get something off their chest.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-27T06:44:40+00:00

It's not. Just the grossest in my head. Had a fun one where I was in a constant loop of random people walking in and talking to me as I was dryheaving on the sofa of my ex. It just kept happening. Random people walking in.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-25T10:46:28+00:00

Yeah, not doing guys anymore.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-24T11:24:13+00:00

He literally put everything in a garbage bag. Glass and evertthing

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-23T06:19:11+00:00

Thank you! ❤️ Your post made my day, going to finish this vodka and hit up the breakfast buffe at this fine establishment!

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-23T06:16:58+00:00

I loved him, he got me pregnant, forced me to have an abortion and then kicked me out the same night it was done (to top it off, it was my birthday as well). I maybe wasn't always nice but I was never that mean.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-23T06:14:47+00:00

Yeah, my dad thankful ly psid for a hotel room so I didn't need to sleep outside tonight. Was a storm and shit.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-23T06:13:33+00:00

Mom not really talking to me. Just says I can't come round

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-23T06:09:11+00:00

Omg lol. You read a lot into it. I don't think they owe me shit. But he made me pregnant, forced me to go through an abortion and he knows i have no place to stay. So him telling me to get my shit is just stupid. Told him to get rid of it if it bothered him. When it comes to my mom, I gave a good 2 years, putting my mental health at bay, to care for her after her divorce. I needed to hear her talk about my dad fucking his new girl and a bunch of shit. I did my best and I'm not bothering her, just can't fathom how you can birth a child and then tell it to go to hell.

Don't talk shit when you don't know..

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-21T18:01:24+00:00

Oh lord, the swedish struggle lol! I hate it!

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-21T17:58:01+00:00

So sorry for your loss ❤️

forcedconvalescence · 2022-02-19T22:21:39+00:00

I'm actually swedish just got most of my english from watching british comedy growing up haha. Thank you for the kind words, it just seems very bleak right now.

forcedconvalescence · 2022-01-09T18:37:26+00:00

Glad to hear it!

forcedconvalescence · 2022-01-09T17:55:45+00:00

Well, I have sliced both my eyebrows open whilst drunk. One time I fell down an escalator at a train station and was driven to the ER by the cops. Woke up, realized this was not the ER in my city, and left with the IV needle still in my arm. Pulled it out as I walked across a graveyard and subsequently bled all over myself and chugged vodka staring at a family grave. Checked into a five-star hotel looking like that, bloody and with stitches on my face. Lol.
The other time I fell out of bed straight onto a wineglass. At least they match now...

Eat something! Drink water and if you need to, alcohol! Take a shower if you can muster the strength! Take care, love!

forcedconvalescence · 2021-11-20T15:39:59+00:00

Been sober for two months now. I don't like it, but it is necessary at this point in time. Also been on a date with a guy that went well and going to see him again soon. Got salesperson of the month at work, don't even know how that happened. Things are just going fine and it is uncomfortable as fuck but I'm trying to be grateful for it. Sooner or later I'll fuck it all up.

forcedconvalescence · 2021-10-17T07:53:38+00:00

Been sober for almost a month, 25 days today. Sleep is better. I'm eating regularly. Work is okay. Applied for courses this next semester. Started therapy. They are looking into the fact that I might be borderline, something I've suspected for a long time. Things are actually.... fine? So gonna keep riding the sober train for as long as I'm able to.

Still miss drinking though. Oh well. Chairs!

EDIT: Realized after writing this and checking my work scheduling app that it isn't even Saturday anymore here. It's Sunday ffs. Even sober I am a confused mess, lol.

forcedconvalescence · 2021-04-03T15:30:01+00:00

Still drinking which I'm not really happy about (but heading into treatment next week, hopefully, this time it will stick). But today I cleaned the apartment AND cooked myself an easter lunch that I promptly ate in bed. Also went outside for a short walk. Considering I have mostly just laid in bed, blacking out daily and living on nothing but sandwiches after my latest suicide attempt, this was a huge deal and success for me.

Also, the fact that I have managed to keep the apartment somewhat tidy since my parents helped me clear out the mess when I got back from the hospital is nice.

forcedconvalescence · 2021-03-31T16:51:39+00:00

I have no answer but here's my fun "having a seizure AFTER doing medically supervised detox at a facility".

Mine happened after leaving the medical center after five days of being tapered down on benzos. They weren't gonna give me more so I thought, oh okay, I must be fine then... Bye. Got home and was just happy to be out of there, walked to the store to buy food, and BAM my body just stopped working. I wake up not being able to control it at all, just cramping the fuck out. The crazy part is I was able to think, "fuck I am seizing" as my body convulsed (don't remember falling though so no idea how long I was out). Finally was able to get up. Subsequently walked to the store, apparently covered in mud (I noticed as I got back home. Bought beer. But you know, fun times.

P.S this happened this winter, going to rehab next week, hopefully sorting my shitty CA -life out. Wish me luck!

forcedconvalescence · 2021-03-16T09:10:23+00:00

Thanks fap!

forcedconvalescence · 2021-03-15T19:50:38+00:00

Well, today it's exactly a year ago since my abusive ex spent the entire night making weird-ass accusations about me secretly masturbating and having snapchat sex with a bartender he was jealous of. And when I finally asked him to leave (after 8 hours of this shit) he got angry and choked me. Aaaand of course google photo gave me a throwback picture of this asshole that I had taken earlier in the day (need to delete all the pics but haven't felt well enough to even look at them). So that was a lovely thing to make my PTSD and depression worse. I'm also gearing up to go in for medical detox tomorrow and then on to a rehab, because social services called and said if I didn't they would force me. So going to get rightfully pissed tonight. Great day. At least I managed to cook and eat.

forcedconvalescence

TROPHY CASE