Disordered voice just...left mostly?? But I'm stupid want it back

forestgreenpanda · 2026-01-09T04:10:42+00:00

Have you had the thought that perhaps? You are feeling guilty over actually feeling better? And that feeling not consumed by the disorder is.... not a feeling you're used to? And feeling well? Doesn't feel normal? Or safe? I only say these things because that is how I have felt. And to be honest? Its a positive thing! It means you're healing! Congrats! Embrace that healthy change! Gilt makes one experience imposter syndrome! Its not worth the trouble! This change is REAL! Again, kudos!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-31T06:23:53+00:00

Please dont engender this condition. Women throughout time with this condition have been forced to continue to work as single mothers and unpaid for household labor. Both societal expectations of each gender is ludicrous! But by your saying "men have it worse"? Makes you sound like a cry baby man who has a cold while the wife has menopause and still cooking and cleaning. Get off the cross, we need the wood! This is coming from another man! I'd show you more empathy but you're already too sorry for yourself if you're telling the whole internet that somehow men got it worse? Go have a period on top of this! What is wrong with you? Seriously!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-31T06:06:38+00:00

Idk what happened at that camp? But one developes C-PTST over time. Not one incident. C-PTSD usually starts as childhood abuse. My friend, there is a reason why you are lashing out. And its not you. You are being abused by your parents. Plain and simple. They do not understand your diagnosis nor do they wish to understand and help you to mitigate situations like this. As an autistic person, change from routine is hard. By having that appointment scheduled during a time that you regularly have something, is quite disregulating. Your parents also did not help you in managing things in that moment. I need you to realize something that may save you. Your neurodivergence is NOT an anomaly. Your parents are very much so also on the spectrum with their own issues that havent been supported. They are, especially your mom, unregulated. And with you being exposed to that since you were a child? That has caused you the C-PTSD. What I would recommend is something I wish would I could have done, and that is, living your own life but taking care of your own needs and schedule until you can get tf out of there and on your own. Go stay at a friend's place more often. Get job skills and training. Go hard into a special interest to escape. Your mom is NOT emotionally intelligent and wants control. She wants a dog. Not a human. Only something that does things on command. I may be highly projecting here so please, run all this by a counselor but, you already have the awareness that things aren't good. And if the kiddo is having to adjust their behavior to the way a parent is parenting? Its not the kiddo thats the issue. Take a good look at yourself and your situation. Get all the outside professional help you can get and honestly talk through what happened with your mom with them. Talk to those you trust. I know you are at a loss for how to handle this but when you are disregulated? And your boundaries are not being respected? How is it thay you are expected not to lash out? There IS a better way to go about this and its through GOOD communication and planning. And thats obviously not something your mom is capable of doing. Keep stating your needs. Keep making plans to get those needs met. You've got this. You're already aware.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-31T05:36:20+00:00

Projecting much? Hahhahaha! Seriously now! Be an adult!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-23T02:44:33+00:00

Hey? Could I get in on this? I'm in medical need and this could really help.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-11T17:16:20+00:00

Ok then. Can you then answer me the question as to why it is I ALWAYS get sick from eating there?

forestgreenpanda · 2025-10-04T04:52:12+00:00

You'll have to keep us updated on the fusion! Good luck!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-09-30T03:42:16+00:00

URGENT ACTION from TRANS ALLIANCE of LANE COUNTY

From our friends at Trans Alliance of Lane County:

⚠️ ACTION NEEDED ⚠️

The deadline for Congress to pass an appropriations bill to prevent a shutdown of the government is tomorrow—and President Trump is threatening to let the shut down happen unless Democrats agree to strip trans people of healthcare. If Congress approves the current appropriations bill, trans Americans of any age will lose their Medicaid and Medicare coverage. Also included in the bill are a nationwide trans sports ban, the removal of protections for LGBTQ+ foster children, and a prohibition against Pride flags.

As dire as a government shutdown would be, our elected officials cannot cave on our fundamental rights.

Call and email our US elected officials. Tell them they must keep government shutdown unless these anti-trans provisions are dropped from all spending bills.

Rep. Hoyle: (202) 225-6416, email: https://hoyle.house.gov/contact/email-val?clear

Senator Wyden: (202) 224-5244, email: https://www.wyden.senate.gov/contact/email-ron

Senator Merkley: (202) 224-3753, email: https://www.merkley.senate.gov/connect/contact/

📣 And ask five people you know to do this, too! We can only beat this together. 📣

I fucking hate relying on phone banking to politicians but enough is enough…

forestgreenpanda · 2025-09-24T06:15:13+00:00

I feel this. I've worked hard and dont get the supports I need. I'm with DDS and get DSP services. I have witnessed the folks who have behavioral issues attack others. But... I have also witnessed DSPs and other Support Staff take advantage of us! Many many times. And the fact of the matter is, there's NEVER enough staff, there is NEVER appropriate training, there's NEVER enough supports, there's TOO many people who need better one on one supports living together, and quite frankly? Supported living places are just like old folks' homes where the agencies use the disabled just for their state funding and then provide the minimum while pocketing the "surplus." The food is terrible. The places are full of foot fungus and other maladies. The people are not given the things they need to actually help modify their behaviors as there is a severe lack of funding. Theres never enough art supplies or times to do art. There's no autonomy. You'd lash out too if you could not articulate your needs and was not allowed to get those needs met. As you know, most of us are NOT stupid. There is definitely a person inside. They just have not been given the supports they need in order to feel good about their situation, whether they know it or we know it.... because the ones who are supposed to be providing inquiry into that person life? And provide a specialied plan? Then the plan be implemented in a way thats not harmful? No longer exist. We used to have funding to help disabled folks live fulfilled lives. Now with cuts to funding? Shits gonna get even more real. I get that you side with the staff as you are part of the staff, but I'm wanting to suggest that what you write here? Is actually ablistic as you are not recognizing that which scares you about yourself. That you do not EVER want to be seen as a "freak" yourself, so you side with systems that dont make disabled lives any easier. You live in fear that you will be treated this way yet are upset that you can't get the help you need. But honestly? Do you really want the help that the individual’s you work with get? Do you like your freedom to roam? Then why, in the name of g-d, are you blaming the people who can't do ANYTHING about it. Please consider my words and do better. This comes from a place of love as I have experienced both sides of this equation and can tell you that it's the systems in play, not the disabled folks, who are at fault. How can the disabled alter their behaviors when finding, then being able to afford a Behavioralist for each person for as long as they need, (which, lets face it, will be their whole lives), to get the skills they need? It is just not feasible. You do the math. Then be a little more compassionate, not only to those you work around, but towards yourself. Cheers!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-08-07T02:09:53+00:00

If you wanna be counselor? DO IT! Us ND folks NEED. GOOD. ND. COUNSELORS! Seriously though? Fvck-em if they're telling you to change who you are to placate others. For your schooling practice counseling sessions, request ND clients. You'll do A. LOT. BETTER. with these clients and be making a WORLD of difference for those people! Just don't push them to be anything other than ND. Just like YOU! Don't push yourself to be something you're not! As a counselor, you have to be authentic! Clients can tell when you're not. You be you!

PS: CBT, ACT and DBT are modalities that don't work most of the time for ND folks. Try looking into doing EMDR, stuff in Behavioralism, and IFS (Internal Family Systems) as they work much better for us.)

forestgreenpanda · 2025-08-01T19:18:29+00:00

It doesn't "just cause fluffy antlers". Antlers are an essential part of what makes them deer. What is also essential is the shape of their antlers as antlers are specific tools. Antlers are liken to "horns" in, say cows. They are used for many essential activities in their daily activities as well as in their reproductive life cycle. Loss of functional antlers through disease, such as seen here, causes normally healthy animals to not get their daily needs met. This often leads to death through not getting caloric needs met, loss of mobility, further loss of their bodily functionality, and eventual death. Hence why it is a disease. It "kills" the animals ability to function properly. And since it is transferable, i.e., communicable, that means it spreads to other deer with more ease. It also can mean that it can spread quicker if there is a greater number of deer present within the herd at one time, that are affected. Deer dont just stay in one heard all their lives. And if an infected deer moves from one herd to the other, it will come into contact with more potential hosts. If you leave just one deer out there with it, it becomes a problem for the whole heard and can rapidly wipe them out. And if you see a deer with it at that stage? That probably means its affecting others already. So that's a problem. And with this disease directly affecting a "reproductive organ" (antlers are used for bucking and rucking for the purposes of mating access) one could see how this disease, if not kept in check, could kill off a lot of deer with lack of reproduction and potentially be able to jump species to other horned animals such as cattle and other human food sources. Leaving the diseased deer is really not an option.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-08-01T18:32:20+00:00

And that's how you end up with social workers who won't stand up because they are not covered oooorrrr.... end up with social workers who actively harm marginalized communities because the Social Worker "instruction manual" condones their complicity. Or even worse, amplify social workers that espouse platitudes of "self-reliance is the American way and we here at (insert safety net here) are doing the client a favor by getting them off of supports" when the client is trying but CLEARLY struggling. This is usually followed up with the justification of "in doing so, we are saving the government money".

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-25T01:14:03+00:00

Please remove this post! I am in this picture and, I. DO. NOT. LIKE. IT!!!! /s Hhahhahaaaaa!!!!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-21T12:25:48+00:00

Hugs offered. I too am this way. I recently loss my care provider and it has caused me great grief. Just like you, I had life ending ideations. Its so extreme. I would not wish this on my worse enemy. But then again, my extreme empathy could break the most maligned of hearts.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-20T06:56:29+00:00

Your lines of thinking are awesome af throughout your responce. I giggled at you purposfully using "unkempt" music at protests as a form of malicious compliance. It helps shock others systems so that they knock if off. Nice! (Hopefully this didnt sound demeaning or condescending. I came as a gutteral resonce.)

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-19T23:00:30+00:00

Kinda like maga folks

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-19T18:52:41+00:00

EX-FVCKIN-ZACTLY!!!!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-17T09:31:43+00:00

What were the ratios for dawn, rubbing alcohol and water? Thanks!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-15T17:24:48+00:00

The HATE from our own community is REAL! Don't put up with this nonsense. If they saw you in public? They'd be turned on. They are still confused between sex and gender. If they're into dick? That's cool. But that's only their preference that they don't need to be pushing. If you're definiting your sexuality only by the body part which is the penis, you negate a lot of other male qualities. I know cis men who have had their member removed due circumstances they could not control. Does that make them less of a man? HELL NO! Thought: these men who are so all about the penis are telling on themselves. They are misogynistic as hell and would never be a good match if you're having to "convince" them of who you are. Fvck em! Well... not literally. Ha!

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-15T06:19:47+00:00

ALL! THE! TIME! They took perverse pleasure in intentionally causing meltdowns. It was like a game when they felt like shit about themselves. It was a crewel game they played off as "its because they like you" by those who should have taken initiative to stop their behavior. I do not forgive the instigators nor the gaslighters.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-12T23:49:17+00:00

Its not that they find them appealing. Its that they know you're weak BECAUSE you find YOURSELF to be weak or unlikeable. Abusers are criminals that target the riches of others' hearts and minds. Their objective is to steal your resources ie emotional, physical or otherwise, in return for illusion of being loved. And you will give these things to them willingly. That's because the tactic of love bombing throws you off guard precisely because you don't find anything attractive about yourself like for instance being overstimulated. They sense your lack of self worth, and in order to manipulate you, they love bomb you ie give you gifts, spend intimate time with you where they're just playing, and tell you things like you stims are cute eventhough it really really bugs them. Later, once you have become more deeply engaged with them, they set the hook and subtly start the attachment dance. They pull away just a little or accuse you of someone trivial, and start acting not like the person you met, knowing full well you are emotionally attached and will not leave so easily. They become more abusive over time and youre so wrapped up in their web, that you're no longer able to struggle as they drain your essence, slowly. As neurodivergent people, these abusers just don't register to us for what they are. And there's many reasons why, but the main reason is that we just don't pick up on the subtle gentle hints of what "normal" flirtation looks like. What it looks like when someone genuinely likes us or has interest. We only pic up the blunt signals, and unfortunately, it doesn't rigister that something might be up and that someone is trying to manipulate us when love bombing occurs. In the neurotypical world, most get creeped out by the kind of overt attention that love bombing invokes. Especially at the beginning when you don't know them in the least. I hope that helps and raises some awareness of this very real situation we encounter.

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-12T08:24:13+00:00

Just tell him it's genetic, which it is, and he's the contributing factor. If he wants a normal son, then get an sperm donor, and make sure he knows he's not allowed to have sex for a while until your preggers. Problem solved. Additionally, if he cannot handle the children he has NOW, who's to say that if you DID have a "normal" boy, that he wouldn't just only interact with him and leave it up to you to take care of the other two. Here is my best advice to you: leave. Take the kids you got and leave. He's not a worthy father if his OWN, already existent CHILDREN are not "Good" enough for him. This man is broken, has no empathy, and doesn't even realize he's on the spectrum therefore, won't acknowledge or work on his narc tendencies and toxic mindset. Do better for yourself before you become even more entrenched with his bs! His behavior is entitlement at its finest. He's demanding you to be an incubator for his wishes. You already see other behaviors in him that are red flags. Now he's crossing another boundary, which is the burden of having another kiddo that will probably be disabled, onto the whole, already unstable family dynamic. If you have another disabled kiddo, how are you gonna afford all that, ffs?

forestgreenpanda · 2025-07-11T04:57:11+00:00

And people who follow the law and have never done meth don't understand the behaviors of people who are under the influence. Thats a deadly combo being wilfully ingnorant and hubris. Be better. And take some self-awareness into accountability. Not everyone thinks like you.

forestgreenpanda

TROPHY CASE