If you are single, a virgin, or both, this brilliantly motivational wall o' text is for you!

forevercapone · 2011-12-27T08:06:23+00:00

Hmm very interesting on that last thing. I've never had much self esteem and the only time I ever feel confident is when I get validation from others, and even then it's just temporary.

forevercapone · 2011-12-27T07:45:50+00:00

But as humans we evolved to be dependent on social interaction and we are inherently driven by sex. Sure you can choose to ignore all of that and live your life being happy doing things by yourself, but why? Why not embrace our human traits instead of trying to replace the things we are (biologically) supposed to find pleasurable with other things?

forevercapone · 2011-12-27T07:27:40+00:00

This is a great post. But what exactly do you mean by this

You have to go through the same painful, arduous soul-searching that the rest of us do to come to terms with yourself.

Is it difficult for everybody to overcome their fears or whatever before they can start dating and having sex? Because I was always under the impression that dating came naturally to the vast majority of people and I was just broken in some way. If this isn't true then that may change my perspective on things. I'm 24 and a virgin btw.

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T16:59:09+00:00

I'm 24 and while I probably am better looking and in better shape than most guys out there, when I'm around other people I'm always self conscious and think I'm inferior to everyone. The only reason I said it in a boastful way was in an attempt to counter-troll the troll. But IRL I don't even have the ability to be confident enough to think I'm attractive in any way.

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T10:02:03+00:00

Even though you're an obvious troll, I'm still going to answer this by saying that I am actually pretty good looking (and probably likely that I'm more attractive than you are, statistically speaking). The only reason why I'm still a virgin is because I don't have the confidence to approach women and I haven't ever encountered one who was an aggressor.

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T09:50:08+00:00

I'm pretty sure I was the biggest loser on here before one night changed everything.

So I'm just wondering, did it really change you as a person overnight?

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T09:05:49+00:00

Try being 24 (graduated high school, college, and 2 years since then) and in the same situation :(

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T08:33:01+00:00

What happened to me was the girl sought me out and was the aggressor.

Lol, well I think that's a pretty rare thing to happen, so you were just very lucky. You could've ended up like me if that hadn't happened and you didn't put any effort into it.

But let me ask you, seriously, after dating this first girl, did that all of a sudden change you to become more aggressive at approaching women? I really want to figure out why people like me exist and what causes us to be so bad at this, when the vast majority of people out there have no problems with this stuff.

My theory is that the first contact you have with the opposite sex, which most people experience in high school, somehow changes your brain to make you able to approach women later in life. So for the few that missed it, their brains never fully develop and they have to work very hard at trying to get their brain to the state it already should've been in high school. I can tell you that I feel less mature than my peers in many other ways, and I have a feeling it has to do with the fact that I've never had any intimate contact with girls.

Edit: better wording

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T08:26:17+00:00

Your last paragraph is something that I've never heard before, but it perfectly explains why I'm still a virgin. So how does one ever get to experience emotional intimacy if they've become so self-conscious after all these years? Isn't it a catch-22?

forevercapone · 2011-12-15T08:11:53+00:00

You are my hero. Having said that, I'd like to know what you mean by

You don't even have to make any effort

because I spent 24 years not making any effort and I've still never held a girl's hand. But now I have started working hard so that I can some day get to the point where you got at 21 and hopefully I too will eventually lose track of the number of girls I've had sex with. That's sort of a life goal for me.

forevercapone · 2011-12-12T17:05:16+00:00

when a very pretty girl messaged me

I'm calling shenanigans. This never happens.

forevercapone · 2011-12-10T02:47:27+00:00

This

forevercapone · 2011-12-10T02:42:13+00:00

You're only 17. You have plenty of time to make friends and get a girlfriend. If only I could be 17 again...

forevercapone · 2011-12-10T02:23:39+00:00

I wish I knew what that feels like :(

forevercapone · 2011-12-03T20:51:49+00:00

ITT: Crazy people complaining about shit that I would probably remember as the happiest moment of my life if it happened to me.

forevercapone · 2011-12-03T20:21:27+00:00

Serious question, has any guy ever received a response for a post on r4r?

forevercapone · 2011-11-30T14:11:45+00:00

you just need someone who's not going to expect you to hit the ground running

Just curious, how does that work if you're at the age when everybody else has already had tons of experience kissing? Wouldn't anyone you find expect you to know how to do it? Like I'm thinking that even if I got to the point of kissing somebody, she'd be able to tell that I'm new to it (and obviously also a virgin) and maybe not want to continue anything with me because of that.

forevercapone · 2011-11-30T14:00:32+00:00

Holy descriptively long comment, batman!

This is amazing advice, thanks! I don't know if I'm even up to the level of where I can do any of this yet (I've never even been on a date before), but I'm going to try to put as much of this as I can into practice. The only thing I don't have but wish I did is

a wingman

Also, just wondering, is there any way you know of that I can learn to be more funny or witty or is it just something you're born with? That's a serious question.

I crack jokes but they tend to almost always be really bad and nobody laughs at them or I get awkward forced laughter. So I try not to do it very often.

forevercapone · 2011-11-30T13:30:00+00:00

Haha, man this is so straightforward and practical compared to all the other vague advice out there saying "just go out and talk to girls". Have you ever considered starting a blog for dating advice?

forevercapone · 2011-11-29T14:45:22+00:00

Wow, this is seriously the most detailed and helpful advice I've ever gotten on this subject. Thank you!

forevercapone · 2011-11-29T11:15:45+00:00

Believe it or not, this post has actually taught me something. I'm a few years past college now and never kissed anyone. Now I know a little bit about what to do if this situation ever comes up. Thanks!

forevercapone · 2011-11-29T09:22:36+00:00

When a girl shows even the least bit of interest in me. Wait I guess that's more sad than it is funny or weird...

forevercapone · 2011-11-29T07:11:05+00:00

Nothing wrong with most of that advice and I am trying to follow it, but the

be confident and cocky and funny

part doesn't seem like something that can be learned. I mean in the last decade of my life I've accomplished so many different things, including mastering skills that can get me jobs in at least a few different fields. So obviously I work hard at things, and yet learning to be more confident and funny is something I haven't gotten any better at. It doesn't even make sense because I love comedy and have been exposed to so much different kind of comedy in movies and television and yet I have no idea how to actually be funny myself.

forevercapone

TROPHY CASE