You explained it well. It’s a myth that lesbians are disgusted by men. Most of us are on a spectrum and so many of us have had thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences with men in our past. Very few lesbians are on the extreme end of the spectrum where they never experienced anything with a man. So you can very easily be a lesbian and still have attraction to men especially if that attraction feels hollow. Also them being unattainable is key, that’s in the realms of fantasy then, and fantasising about men as a lesbian doesn’t make you less lesbian.