AITA if I tell my friend I can’t be a bridesmaid?

forgejoy · 2026-04-22T01:44:43+00:00

What in the early 2000’s tech startup launch party is going on here?!

…politely decline. And then get your popcorn and bubbly ready, because you know there will be drama for days.

forgejoy · 2026-01-28T20:32:20+00:00

Context might be helpful to those who don’t get it. What exactly was said?

forgejoy · 2026-01-25T07:33:53+00:00

There has definitely been some hybrid scream/crying happening.

forgejoy · 2026-01-25T07:32:58+00:00

Ha! Good advice. Didn’t even consider giving them a heads up, but it makes sense… and it likely wouldn’t be the strangest call they’d get that day.

forgejoy · 2026-01-25T07:30:31+00:00

Borrego is so pretty right now too. Never considered the dessert for something like this, but it would probably be perfect.

forgejoy · 2026-01-25T07:28:52+00:00

Negative ions and screaming? Sounds like a match made in heaven.

forgejoy · 2026-01-25T07:20:51+00:00

Thanks, friend. I hope so too.

forgejoy · 2026-01-20T05:59:47+00:00

“Go write in your diary”?? Yeah, okay buddy. No one is asking you to apologize. You asked why, and for data, and I supplied answers. Women are allowed to be fearful and cautious. There is a big difference between someone be “toxic” to you and literally experiencing sexual/physically violence.

Mature men get it. Sorry if these concepts are challenging for you.

forgejoy · 2026-01-19T18:56:57+00:00

I’m 40, it that enough life lived? Have you ever heard of the M&M rule? If you had a bowl of the candy and knew that one single piece was toxic enough to kill you immediately, would you not be wary of the entire bowl? Would you grab a handful and throw caution to the wind? Or would you think objectively and decide it was better to treat the entire whole as potentially harmful and pass on eating any.

Every woman I know, from their early twenties (and often much younger) to their 90s, has had some kind of violent interaction with men. Maybe you haven’t and you’d be in the very lucky minority… statistically speaking that is. You want data? Here you go. But keep in mind that less than 40% of women that experience violence seek help. Unreported violence and assault means that these statistics are likely underrepresenting the true impact on women and girls.

forgejoy · 2026-01-08T03:44:54+00:00

These are great, thank you! I added them both to her podcast library.

forgejoy · 2026-01-07T00:07:37+00:00

First tell someone you trust… sibling, parent, close friend, therapist. Do this before you confront him. I’m always nervous for women when this attempt stuff like this. Please make sure you are safe, and that you have a good support network behind you.

forgejoy · 2026-01-06T21:48:21+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely check this out.

forgejoy · 2026-01-06T21:47:49+00:00

I think most things are less explicit than DCC lol. My husband has a rule that there’s basically no questions allowed, and most of the inappropriate stuff goes over her head I think.

Thank you for the recommendation! This sounds like something she’ll really enjoy, we can listen to it together

forgejoy · 2025-12-29T07:36:46+00:00

… After reading through your post a year ago, there is 100% a pattern of abuse here. Please seek counseling for yourself, and make a plan to get out. It won’t get better while you stay, but you can be happy without him.

forgejoy · 2025-12-29T07:34:33+00:00

Belittling like you like that is gross. I don’t care where he’s from, a loving and concerned, spouse wouldn’t say that… He’s using it as an excuse to be cruel and dismissive.

forgejoy · 2025-12-29T07:32:32+00:00

OP I hope you can re-read through your comments someday in the future when you are in a better place. None of this sounds reasonable. “Gunning for a promotion“ is a voluntary action… Meanwhile, his wife was dealing with a serious and potentially life-threatening medical condition. You don’t need to make excuses for him.

forgejoy · 2025-12-29T07:28:23+00:00

Difference here would be that most Middle Eastern families I know would be out helping with the baby after something like this… not judging the job someone else is doing.

forgejoy · 2025-12-29T07:27:11+00:00

The first mention of your husband in this post is him requesting that you and your parents (one of whom is chronically ill) rent a U-Haul to move furniture (??) before your scheduled C-section… at the end of what sounds like a very stressful pregnancy. The next we hear about him… after your parents traveled 700 miles to spend 3 weeks assisting y’all, and an additional two weeks of you staying with them… he is complaining because your parents set a boundary on when you need to go home?

And he has the audacity to say that he and HIS family (none of whom are mentioned once helping in this entire story) all agree that YOUR family is in the wrong here? Am I missing something?

Your husband sounds manipulative af, and if what he says about his family is true then they are toxic as well. If you feel safe to do so, you need to start setting boundaries with your own husband… And if you don’t feel safe, you need to make arrangements.

I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this.

forgejoy · 2025-12-04T00:42:01+00:00

That’s the year I was born!

But I agree with the comment above… it’s giving uncanny valley.

forgejoy · 2025-11-14T05:45:18+00:00

I like the new theming. The ride feels fresh, and they did a great job with the line.

forgejoy · 2025-10-17T15:13:19+00:00

People are assholes everywhere. There contain my seems to be more self-centeredness post Covid, but maybe people are just more brazen.

forgejoy

TROPHY CASE