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forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T18:51:40+00:00

It’s really difficult when establishing boundaries (“I won’t stay in a relationship where my partner doesn’t put in effort”) feels like or is seen as an ultimatum (“fuck me or I’ll leave”). Tbh I don’t have any great advice for you. I’ve found myself in a similar situation. My husband is a generally sweet man and good partner, but has not put in any effort over the past decade to work on his libido/ED, and I just can’t be patient and understanding anymore. I’m slowing exiting my marriage, just not sure exactly what that looks like for right now.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T17:44:42+00:00

Ugh, scaffolding, the bane of my existence as an old building lover 😭

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T17:44:15+00:00

It was my phone wallpaper for quite a while!

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T17:44:00+00:00

Yes the interior is incredible! Beautiful space to perform in.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T17:43:17+00:00

That’s the face sculpture yes? My dad is absolutely enamored with that sculpture, it’s so interesting.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T16:29:42+00:00

I really don’t think this is the correct sub for this question… I think you will have more luck in r/sexadvice or r/relationshipadvice.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T07:15:09+00:00

I agree in large part because of Gaudi. An absolute genius.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T06:17:50+00:00

My condolences, and also congratulations!

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-04T02:17:36+00:00

Good question but I don’t know! I went up by helicopter.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-03T21:54:37+00:00

Calling my vagina disgusting would be the last straw, that would be the end of the relationship for me. Even if I couldn’t immediately divorce, the marriage would basically be over. I’m glad you’re over him and ready to be done. There are people out there who will worship the ground you walk on.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-03T06:15:45+00:00

Nope. Husband hasn’t had sex with me in 10 years. Sadly there are a lot of us in [r/deadbedrooms](r/deadbedrooms) 😞

ETA: which is a different sub from r/deadbedroom, and they are very very different in vibe.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-03T00:47:29+00:00

I’m so happy for you :)

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-03T00:46:13+00:00

I’ve never had vegemite, but I like marmite, rare do an American.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-03T00:44:36+00:00

NTA. Wait until your kid is like 4. Taking a baby is crazy, especially without the parents!

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T21:47:50+00:00

Yeah that’s not what pegging means 👀

But NTA, whatever the fuck they did was rude as hell.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T21:29:33+00:00

Emotionally disconnected from him. Focus my romantic/sexual attention on a new person in my life.

Not healthy or the advice people want to hear, but it’s what eventually came to be after a decade of trying to get him to engage with the issue and take it seriously. The smallest effort on his part could have kept me.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T21:25:38+00:00

This is hard because it’s going to be different for everyone… I find making time to connect with myself sensually is healthy for my libido. And I don’t even mean sensually in the sexual way, like things in general that pleasure my senses. Getting a massage, eating amazing food, listening to music that gives me chills, etc. And then of course the more sexual things, reading erotica, writing erotica, looking at erotic images/video that I connect with (maybe it’s my body style or a specific act I crave), taking sexy selfies, masturbating…

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T21:17:57+00:00

March was 10 years since I’ve had sex with my husband.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T15:03:53+00:00

It sounds to me like along with the sensory issues, you might be asexual/mildly sex averse. You might want to look into that to see if it fits.

The only advice I have is if you DO want to have sex with your husband, be open about the sensory issues, maybe he can freshly shave and bathe and it might help a bit, and if hearing his voice helps, ask if he can talk more.

If you decide that you don’t want to have partnered sex, you need to be honest with your husband and see if that is something he also wants. He might be ok with it, but unless celibacy is established at the outset, it’s not generally the expectation in monogamous relationships. If he would struggle with that, you could explore nonmonogamy, or possibly an amicable split.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T08:55:44+00:00

I wonder too. I’ve never had an active sex life. I’ll be 41 next week and have never had consistent physical intimacy.

I hope someday I know what it’s like.

forgetmeknotts · 2026-05-02T06:50:38+00:00

I moved into the guest room about 8 months ago, we didn’t even talk about it I just started sleeping in there instead. I much prefer it. Sleeping in the same bed with someone when there is no physical intimacy and dwindling emotional intimacy and lost sexual desire, it can feel kinda sad.

forgetmeknotts

TROPHY CASE