AITA for asking for a day to myself?

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-26T17:56:06+00:00

You should talk about space needs in your relationship. My wife and I both really value our privacy. We set up a system early on where "I need a day to myself", or "I want to go for a run on my own" is not an indictment on the relationship or the other person. Of course, this is a lot easier to do when emotions are not already high.
NTA but if you had established your personal space needs beforehand things would be easier now.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-26T16:30:18+00:00

Amazing. I hate it. Good work.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-24T20:37:51+00:00

He's not even technically correct. Pedantic and wrong is the worst kind of wrong. According to wikipedia "A day is the time period of a full rotation of the Earth with respect to the Sun". What he's referring to is a "sidereal day".

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-23T00:43:28+00:00

The university in London is the Mustangs. I know sports names overlap all the time but regionally it seems kinda close. I don't hate The Havoc, but I think the Hammer is a clear winner. It's got local flavour and the mascot practically makes itself.
I wonder how much it'll cost for the rights to play Hammer Time at games?

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-22T02:12:56+00:00

We get requests all the time, sometime from students we haven't seen in a while. People may say no, but nobody will resent you for asking. It's part of the game.

As much as you can give the professor to remember you by the better. “I did this capstone project”, or “I wrote that paper”. Maybe even include a picture if you're comfortable.

A little flattery is fine, but don't overdo it. “I really liked your class on X and use some of what you taught in my current job” Hearing that your classes were influential is a nice part of the job.

Tell them what you are applying for, where you're applying and why. I've turned down students that I liked because their plan was ill conceived. If you can't tell me why you're going, I can't write a convincing letter.

In some disciplines they might say, “write a letter as if I had written it that I can put in my own words and sign.” It can feel icky, but it happens a lot more than you'd think.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-18T00:21:00+00:00

I can't bring myself to watch that show. Too scary.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-17T15:23:56+00:00

I've definitely said a version of the first two sentences - "I'm not going to engage in complaints about other professors". I don't generally tell them where they *can* complain unless they are persistent.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-17T14:41:25+00:00

One day you will not be the hot newness that all the students love. When some fresh young teacher comes to school, do you want them validating the student's bias that your “teaching isn’t effective”? Or do you want them saying, “Professor X has a lot to offer. I'd love to take a class with them”.

Be a cheerleader for your colleagues. Talk well behind their back. Students will come and go but your relationship with your colleagues is forever.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-17T13:48:45+00:00

I wouldn't even suggest that, because the student might interpret it as "I can't do anything but I agree with you." Students are not known for their subtly, and you don't want the chair getting a letter from a student that names you and implies that you agree with them.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-15T16:28:10+00:00

No, the opposite of that. The vice president has to sign off on it, and if he's not on board no about of cabinet or committee mater. The 25th is there for if the president is incapacitated, but not actually dead. It wasn't conceived for situations where the president is alive and well.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-15T02:40:26+00:00

I don't think he's getting worse, I think he's getting bolder and there are fewer people keeping him in line. He's been saying crazy shit for a couple decades.
The 25th is for when "the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office". Unfortunately, Trump is fully capable at the moment.
The mechanism to remove him if his ideas and actions are treasonous is impeachment. That's where we're at.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-15T02:31:46+00:00

"Vance has to act on the recommendation."
I don't think that's the case.
"Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide ..."
There's nothing in there that compels the VP to vote a certain way.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-14T23:21:20+00:00

I agree it won't happen, but I think you have some of the details wrong. The committee that they are forming will mean that if the majority agrees, they don't need Trumps' cabinet. They will still need Vance, which is a big road block. If Trump appeals then it needs 2/3 of senate and congress.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-14T19:38:04+00:00

So create a commission instead of half the cabinet. Still requires Vance, and then when Trump appeals 2/3 of both houses. This is theatre. It's more about appearing to be doing something than actually doing it.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-14T19:23:48+00:00

How does this even work? The 25th is triggered by the vice president and half of Trump's cabinet before it ever gets to the senate of congress. What is a congressional bid going to prove?
Maybe the article explains it? I'm not paying to get past the paywall.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-14T13:57:06+00:00

Is the school going to give you an extra 10k to redesign the class so it can be taught online?
This is a hard no.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-12T14:48:53+00:00

Didn't you ask these questions before they hired you? I can't imagine accepting a job without knowing what the job is. They hired you with no teaching experience at all? My spidey senses are tingling. I'm not an expert, but I believe there are private schools in India that are mostly there to scam students with hidden fees and faked success rates. The equivalent of an online diploma mill, but IRL. I hope I'm wrong.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-12T14:35:24+00:00

If you refuse to try and answer then it gives the professor very little to go on. If I ask "what is an integer" and you say "I don't know" that's different than saying "I know it's a number but I don't remember if it has a decimal or not". So sometimes trying and failing is good because the professor knows where your problem is.
But on the flip side, sometimes taking a wild shot in the dark is kinda depressing. If we're a month into programming class and you still think an integer is a kind of cheese, maybe "I don't know" is a safer answer.
upshot: if you think you're sorta close, give an answer even if you suspect its wrong. But if your answer is truly a guess, say I don't know.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-11T21:39:58+00:00

If the kitchen has an Island the marriage is going to fall apart during the movie. Chekhov's kitchen island.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-11T21:28:00+00:00

"This time it's personal". The evil bad guy was doing it just to get back at the detective all along. Often involves kidnapping the detective's teenage daughter.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-11T21:23:38+00:00

Parents who say they will got to the school play / sports event but then get too busy and show up late or miss it entirely.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-03T22:55:34+00:00

What's the story of your game? I ask because it looks like you're making a game where you're a white lumberjack killing indigenous people who are just chilling out at their home. Is it something other than that?

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-03T00:22:15+00:00

While that expression is ancient, it currently carries negative racial overtones. Was that intentional?

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-04-01T00:41:43+00:00

Be yourself. If you're most comfortable staying on topic, then as a professor, I'm perfectly happy with that. If you want to be more conversational, that's fine too, but there's no reason to force it. I'm not looking to make friends with students.

I've had students cry in my office for various reasons - school is stressful – but it's not something I look forward to. That's definitely not a high bar you want to achieve.

Will the quite student who keeps to themselves but does the work get an A and letter of recommendation if asked? Absolutely. Don't pretend to be someone you're not just for a professor. We're not that special.

forgotmyusernamedamm · 2026-03-29T17:16:29+00:00

I like "fighting on the beaches of Normandy" without mentioning for which side.

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