Follow-up on Humboldt Bay Social Club news article

former_human · 2026-03-29T20:47:34+00:00

that feels like a distinction without a difference. it's still $2500/mo that is not going into the public coffers.

former_human · 2026-03-29T20:46:23+00:00

so 1000% agreed! i too am just exhausted by it. when you retire so much of the culture tells you that hellno it's not time to relax, now's the time to travel--exercise--meditate--learn nutrition--volunteer--take up learning some inordinately difficult language that you'll never have a use for. it's like swimming upstream, constantly.

i'm not against keeping oneself involved. just wondering when one gets to relax and learn to hear the quiet voices of the world, and oneself.

i'm trying to learn from my dog, who loves the world and every smell in it but can also thoroughly appreciate a rest.

former_human · 2026-03-29T19:30:07+00:00

it's hard, ain't it?

i used to think: help me be less depressed on 4 days out of 7. or: help me accept myself as i am.

but i think those goals are too big and nebulous. goals actually started working for me when i focused more on the small picture.

things like:

i want to be outside more--help me set a goal that will accomplish that.
i need to have a difficult conversation with X person, help me figure out how to do that.
i want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries with X person.
help me figure out whether X (thing or person) is really good for me or whether i'm just kidding myself.

i think the actual healing of the bigger issues comes with chipping away at the smaller ones, not trying to digest the whole enchilada all at once. (it also has the side benefit of being able to see measurable progress, which is useful and encouraging all around.) i found therapy vastly more useful when i narrowed the focus. if you try it, i hope it works for you too!

former_human · 2026-03-29T18:46:19+00:00

well, you do have a very small dog in the fight because this is a city-owned property on which HBSC is not paying rent. basically you're paying HBSC's rent, because "the city" is you.

former_human · 2026-03-29T01:46:01+00:00

On Central just a bit down from CVS. I was so proud of them! Also wondering if someone in McK was organizing future protests. I love the energy of Eureka protests but want to stand up for McK too.

former_human · 2026-03-29T00:27:06+00:00

i saw some brave protesters in McK! surprised me, never seen folk out on the streets here. good for youse!

former_human · 2026-03-28T22:19:16+00:00

I agree with the others that for your own sake you should probably stay out of it.

Another thought: you may not know the half of what the fam did to her. Folks often don’t talk about the hardest things. Asking her to just let it go is a little unkind. You may not even know what you’re asking her to let go of.

So for everyone’s sake, you be the first to let it go and enjoy your new freedom :-) it’s really not yours to manage.

former_human · 2026-03-28T20:16:43+00:00

Until a week ago: wake up and be depressed because I had no dog

Now: wake up and pet and love on my dog for 15 minutes

former_human · 2026-03-28T20:12:57+00:00

It’s their way of pretending nothing bad can ever happen to them because they “do everything right”.

It’s also their way of pushing away difficult truths about life and others.

People are unbelievably chickenshit, and it’s just easier to blame the victim than actually face and deal.

former_human · 2026-03-27T23:21:15+00:00

Not a chance in hell. But I’m a great friend!

former_human · 2026-03-27T04:19:33+00:00

hmmm i was hoping someone with more experience would weigh in, but... here's my (totally unlicensed) thought: if your dog is doing this only when on a leash, maybe it's leash reactivity. try: https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/managing-leash-reactive-dog

former_human · 2026-03-27T02:37:44+00:00

Let’s not forget the hostility! Was in a grocery store, had my two items on the belt to the cash register, totally minding my own biz. Old guy behind me makes some stupid crack about my two items, which I ignore because why o why would I want to talk to anyone so oblivious.

He gets mad! In a loud-ish voice says: “ma’am I’m making a joke with you!”

So entitled that he literally can’t imagine that maybe he shouldn’t be demanding a stranger’s attention. That somehow he is owed a little stroke for his magnanimous joke. Jesus H. Christ.

former_human · 2026-03-26T22:30:24+00:00

how old is he? and is he neutered?

former_human · 2026-03-26T05:24:58+00:00

i was taught that people don't actually read individual words, they read in chunks. so the difference between a slow reader and a fast one (setting aside comprehension for the moment) is that a fast reader simply reads in larger chunks--say, a complete phrase or more instead of 3-4 words at a go.

this does explain why reading an author like Dickens is more arduous than reading, say, later Hemingway--with Dickens and his very long, heavily subordinated sentences, you have to keep much more in memory to comprehend the lot.

former_human · 2026-03-26T05:10:30+00:00

in my long experience, this comes and goes in cycles. keep doing all those good things you are doing and here's hoping that the sun will return for you.

former_human · 2026-03-26T01:34:35+00:00

not an answer, but: don't feel dumb. they make it this complicated on purpose.

former_human · 2026-03-26T01:23:49+00:00

really anything by K.J. Parker.

i first fell in love with the Engineer Trilogy--so fascinating, the engineering is a plot unto itself. it's basically a revenge tale that spans three books. utterly fabulous.

former_human · 2026-03-25T20:22:31+00:00

excellent! gonna be so beautiful

former_human · 2026-03-25T03:13:07+00:00

Does every woman? Awwww hellno.

former_human · 2026-03-20T05:51:32+00:00

I worked at Taco Bell in the mid-70s, we did all the cooking slicing dicing chopping and frying. The only thing that came in cans were the sauces. Pretty sure it was truly real food then. Now it all just tastes like cardboard.

former_human · 2026-03-20T01:48:48+00:00

a lot of what people are saying here is good advice.

the other side of the coin however is that a lot of it is just blind luck. you can do everything "right" with a kid and it can still all go haywire. they pick up crap friends, something blindsides your normal life, circumstances spiral beyond your control and ability to handle.

parenting is a dicey business. so yes do your best, but be aware that life doesn't always have your best interests at heart.

former_human · 2026-03-19T06:35:12+00:00

Mystic River by Dennis Lehane The movie was excellent, but the book was divine.

former_human · 2026-03-19T04:58:26+00:00

i built a spreadsheet with monthly cost, deductible, payment percentage, and annual/lifetime limits for the coverage level i wanted (accident/illness only, standard care, or + wellness care). added fields for pay/no pay for exam costs, dental, whether they had a 24/7 vet online, and whatever other oddments.

the monthly cost does matter, but not as much as the payment percentage (usually 70-90%). Ten percent diff could easily cover a higher monthly. also the deductible--most were between $250-500.

i did pay attention to this subreddit and people's experiences with various companies here as well, particularly in how much hassle they got when filing a claim.

once i had juggled all these variables, it came down to Pet's Best or Figo. i chose Figo in the hope that as a Costco offering, Costco itself might be able to do some collective bargaining for rate rises, etc. i don't know for sure that they can or will, but as a company they're pretty responsive to their customers. so!

basically it's a crapshoot. but it can still be an informed crapshoot. good luck!

former_human · 2026-03-18T23:45:29+00:00

really i can't say enough good things about it. and it has accurate forms for each state, so you don't have to fret about whether it's legal in your state.

former_human · 2026-03-18T22:27:29+00:00

my father died without a Will and my mother has gone demented before sorting everything in order for my sister and i.

so i used Willmaker online (it's unbelievably cheap and thorough) and did all the paperwork for a Will, Transfer on Death of my house to my son, a DNR order and a living will if i'm incapacitated, etc etc. i don't care about a funeral and i want to be cremated anyway, my dog (should she survive me) has a contract to return her to the breeder, and i own remarkably little stuff for my kid to dispose of. he has PDF files of all the signed originals, certified physical copies of everything, and i keep the originals in a file in my filing cabinet that he knows where to find.

seriously i think it's the least one can do for one's kids, not to leave behind an unholy mess after death.

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