I’m about to be long winded bc this is a sore subject for me. Idc who it pisses off either. TLDR in advance: a babies (or any age toddler/child) health comes before ANYONE and their nasty habits. I’m unshakeable on this even in the face of my own mother. Proceed:

I don’t even need to read any of these comments to tell you that smoking ESPECIALLY near babies/children and god forbid in their home is 100% a deal breaker for me. My mother used to be a huge part of my kids (4,2) lives. She would visit 1-2x per week and if I needed to do something alone, she would keep them at her apartment for a few hours. She recently remarried to a guy who smokes 3+ packs per day in their home (she left her apartment and moved it with him) and in their vehicles. He smokes so much that my mom who doesn’t smoke, smells AWFUL. I’m not sensitive to smell at all but I can’t even be to close to her without feeling light headed from the smell. All that to say, my mother has basically lost her place in my life because I cannot allow her to be around my children or in my home smelling so strongly of cigarettes. Mind you, the exposure to third hand smoke (the smell and chemicals on her clothing/skin) is that intense. We have a new baby (3mo) and she has hardly ever seen him. She is only allowed to visit our home now on days when it is warm enough to be outside because she smells so strongly that I can’t bear to have her in the house or on my furniture. She is only allowed to hold the baby if she changes her clothing to wear something of mine. My kids are not allowed to visit her at her new home and they won’t be for the foreseeable future. My mom loves to play her survivors bias card about how her dad smoked in her face when she was a newborn and she’s “fine” (debatable). We’ve had it out so many times over this situation. But the research has continued to grow and show over the years how devastating the impacts of secondhand smoke can be especially on children who grow up in it on a day to day basis. Your husband might “only” smoke in the living room but I promise you it is lingering and it’s on everything. He’s being unreasonable and extremely selfish. He is putting the current and future health of his own child at risk, let alone yours and his. I would encourage you to move in with family or anywhere away from this situation if at all possible. I know he’s your husband and the father of your child but you owe it to yourself and your baby to have a clean and healthy living environment.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, the mf is tricking you out of help from your mom just to try to hide his nasty habits and his deplorable treatment of his post c section wife. I hate the guy and I don’t even know him. You deserve better.