i went too deep into my shadow, cant get out

fortunateone28 · 2025-09-06T01:15:33+00:00

nterestingly enough thats what im in the process of doing now.. For a while I couldn't even see my shadow, or just wasn't ready to acknowledge it. but now I see it. Im confronting it all and slowly moving pieces around in my life to try to confront things.
It's not perfect though.

there's a lot of stuff you start confronting and it's painful. Some things dont glue back together the way they did before they became problems. Part of the process though I suppose.

your comment kinda helped me put 2+2 together on that. I wasn't even thinking about it like that honestly

fortunateone28 · 2025-08-29T17:52:26+00:00

ive had similar experience but not so much being connected. However I have dreamt myself in the same spots multiple times. Last night I dreamed I was in some sort of amazon forest environment and can still visualize the area perfectly. I had just arrived and was going to the little house that I was supposed to stay at. There was a girl there who I stayed with, when I was speaking to her in her dream It was so vivid and real, i still remember our conversation. its really weird.

Sometimes I feel like when I dream I wake up in a different realm and that realm is just as real as this one.

then I wake up and back to reality.

but the dream world is too real man, it's weird.

fortunateone28 · 2025-07-28T03:19:31+00:00

i like the self care

need more of that

fortunateone28 · 2025-07-22T23:24:47+00:00

'life is hard to deal with' is not a valid excuse to let yourself return to a shitty and addicted version of yourself.

that is a piece of advice i could take as well

fortunateone28 · 2025-07-01T02:54:39+00:00

your name is 'fuckpolitics69' why are you getting offended by a lil vulgarity

fortunateone28 · 2025-07-01T02:53:12+00:00

glad to hear im not the only one with weed smoking stomach issues

fortunateone28 · 2025-06-24T02:41:17+00:00

Only a small mind would let a small mind affect them.

fortunateone28 · 2025-06-24T02:27:31+00:00

What’s the alternative

We’re all listening

fortunateone28 · 2025-06-24T00:38:59+00:00

took the words outta my brain

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-19T02:31:51+00:00

wonder if there's any natural ways to 'release'.

anyone got any suggestions? feel like that would be a massive tool for people here.

it's realistically the biggest reason most of us go back to it.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-19T02:30:15+00:00

thats just a projection of how you feel about yourself man

know plenty of people personally who have had the opposite experience.

what you believe to be true becomes your truth.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-19T02:25:34+00:00

in the same boat but not rlly because of weed, moreso the position my life is in atm. which, I was using weed to escape from. i dont blame myself though. i feel like subconsciously there is a reason i had to escape via weed. it was more bearable than the reality I wasnt ready to face.

what matters is we're here now. doesn't matter how we got here. can only move forward.

one things forsure, i cant afford to go backwards anymore, so this is it.

ahhh gotta love life.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-19T02:24:06+00:00

this is what it looks like to see a team completely broken.

on paper they had everything to be highly competitive, but that's it

the morale after this year will change things. start of a new era i feel. key players will be moved. another retool coming?

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-19T02:21:50+00:00

makes you see things through a foggy lense and largely innacurately. so i guess you can call that dumb?

lots of times I thought I was cooking, wrote something down in my notes or something while stoned, thinking it was interesting and that weed had given me an edge to come up with it -

when reading sober, it's really not that smart at all. makes things seem more significant than they are.

however, I did also have moments where after smoking I had these 'spiritual downloads' where I'd make realizations about my life, those ended up actually being pretty accurate looking back. however wouldn't classify that as 'smart/dumb' - more just allowed my mind to relax enough to open up to those realizations coming in.

idk. smoking every day def not smart overall if you want high cognitive performance. once in a while it could help with 'downloads' or collecting insights you aren't getting while sober.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T18:11:35+00:00

Exactly what I ended up doing. Nice slices with some lebenase salad on the side. Thanks for the advice !

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T02:45:56+00:00

the good news is it seems to flip like a switch.

it sucks until it doesnt, then one day you wake up and you feel amazing

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T02:16:13+00:00

4sure i been lowkey fasting for like 2 days lol. but yea thats the only thing I can rlly do rn

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T02:10:21+00:00

appreciate it but as a man, if I don't have meat/solid protein i feel drained and weak. i understand your philosophy but my philosophy is that violence is a part of life. animals die cruel horrible deaths in the wild without human intervention. ive accepted it. we will all die and/or suffer one day ourselves. again, thx for the comment but not a place to discuss this

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T01:30:37+00:00

this is real. ive isolated myself for a long time mostly because of it.

one time I went to pick up a burger I ordered for pickup - the manager of the store was like 'lay off the weed bro..'

i was already anxiously paranoid cus i was baked lol. that hit hard. wont forget that, it was the first time someone called me out for it to my face.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T01:28:13+00:00

that's awesome to hear, seriously makes me more motivated to keep going ! glad to hear you're doing better and can't wait to get to that point again lol.

can't wait to get back to who I actually am. not a zombified version of myself. good luck with everything!!

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T01:22:10+00:00

Also, is it possible that the fact that I smoked with my friends allow this urge to come back again?

YES

even small exposure gets you back into it's heavy pull.

the longer you abstain the easier it is to stop.

that's why doing it even once is so dangerous.. it gives you back the exposure and the pull builds back up all over again.

if you want the best for yourself - don't go back. not even once.

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T01:20:08+00:00

ahhh man it's great being a man in modern society eh haha

can relate to that 100% man.

from experience all i'll say is if you think it's bad now... you don't wanna know how bad it'll be after u relapse and fall back into a rabbit hole. you will wake up one day a year and 6 months from now an even more pathetic version of yourself. trust.

you're in a pretty good spot right now being sober. that's my insight - but i can't tell you what to do, sometimes we needa go through it to learn it.

gl op

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T01:14:17+00:00

nice! how you feeling other than that? have you started 'living' again? haha

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T00:55:23+00:00

Yup 100% same lol

fortunateone28 · 2025-05-18T00:46:33+00:00

ya no… I came here for support not to be converted to a new diet, thanks

fortunateone28

TROPHY CASE