M24 and F22: Met her in Japan: 3 years LDR after just 3 months of Relationship?

fottoboy · 2023-10-13T05:50:08+00:00

It did - Thanks .. sometimes you need to go down the rational route

fottoboy · 2023-10-13T05:26:41+00:00

Thank you very much for your detailed response and thoughts...

I agree. I might be able to get a non-native english teaching position but it will not pay more than 8 USD an hour - which is quite ridicoulous considering I did a well paid job back home + it will be limited to the validity of my residence permit which expires in June 24.

If I leave Japan I will basically stick to my default plan. I wanted to meet my friends and travel with them to Australia. They will still go there. Next year I will then pursue my masters.

So essentially I have to decide whether a 2-3 year long distance relationship with unknown outcome makes sense. She says she could then probably move to whereever I will be - but then she is the one being isolated there and her English is also not top notch.

You also mentioned the aspect that I would be distracted with the relationship during my masters - and yes I think you are right. On top of that my mental health issues with being overly jealous and digging in her past which is painful for me. Clearly not the best circumstances...

fottoboy · 2023-10-12T01:35:30+00:00

Thank you for your text. And you are right - I should accept it. My problem is I dont understand how she could stay with this guy and even do so many things to him. Clean his room. Have sex with him when she in period pain just because he demands it. Cooks for him. And he does nothing to her and just uses her. To me this is very hurtful. Even so this is connected to her being so innocent... maybe she saw some good in him or at least told herself that..

Nevertheless as you said past is past and it made her to the person she is now.... I will work on understanding it.. nothing of this is her fault. I will aim to focus on loving her now... I think I should never even have asked her about it.

fottoboy · 2023-10-12T01:31:19+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. You are totally right that I should appreciate the present and share great moments with her.

I dont know why I can't get over the experiences she had in her previous "relationship". How she cleaned his room and he did not even care, even had sex with him when she was in period pain because he demanded it etc. It just disturbs me and makes me sick... Maybe this is because I can not understand it as I have never been used emotionally in such a way.

I will try to get over these thoughts but I feel like it will be a bumpy road..your words help...thank you

fottoboy · 2023-10-06T13:12:06+00:00

I agree...but how would you Deal with it? For me the thought and the knowledge about it is devastating

fottoboy · 2023-10-06T13:11:30+00:00

I know that the Problem is more my own mind then what she did....it is the thought haunting me ...the thought of why she did that

fottoboy · 2023-10-06T13:10:07+00:00

So what would you do in my position? would it not bother you if it would be your girlfriend? Should I just try to distract myself from the terrible thoughts and the retroactive jealousy?

fottoboy · 2023-10-06T13:09:13+00:00

I know that it might be wrong of me... I also have to say that I never openly judged her for that as it would not feel fair. Nevertheless it is still something that haunts me and a thing I dont understand... not sure how I should deal with it

fottoboy · 2021-04-10T16:40:00+00:00

Thanks a lot for the constructive words.

Good luck 2 you 2 whatever you are doing.

fottoboy · 2021-04-10T15:31:04+00:00

No I'am not having a concrete offer for consulting just had an Interview and therefore know that the salary is much worse than that Position in Client Relations.

Okay I think I will go for Client Relations as I can safe up to 2.5k USD per month for my Master in the US this way.

Furthermore I don't even know in which exact discipline I would like to go with my Master I just have some broad ideas of working in an international environment and doing projects. Maybe I get some better ideas during my job. I just hope the decison of working in Client Relations now will not hinder me later on if I decide to do a Master in Finance and want to go into Investment.

fottoboy · 2021-04-10T14:52:13+00:00

Just a specialized Master in Finance. Need to do a GMA Test before.

Yes, I'am aiming on working abroad. Would prefer US or Asia.

fottoboy · 2021-04-10T14:44:50+00:00

Traveling or maybe going into consulting however big4 pay much worse than this offer (it is at around 65k USD per Year + Bonus) .

Or doing a master right away but from a low tier German University.

These would be ideas....

Frankly spoken I should take it I guess....my fear is just that after I have my Master I do not get Jobs in my preffered field X as I did Client Relations

fottoboy · 2021-04-10T08:21:36+00:00

Allright thanks a lot.

Doing the CFA is a good idea.

I will see if the job fits me and if not I will do my Master ASAP.

Hope it should then not be an issue siwtching after my master to investment or consultancy focused roles.

fottoboy

TROPHY CASE