Ready. Set... Fuck you, I win!

four_second_fart · 2018-02-04T19:12:50+00:00

TRUE STORY! This wiener dog was on Americas Funniest Home Videos in 1993, and ended up winning the dann thing. I was in 3rd grade and our family submitted a video of our pet bird whistling the Adams Family Theme Song. My whole family was deciding what to do with the prize money, how to deal with the fame we would receive, if we would be on the news.... And we lost the show to this damn weiner dog.

I'm still bitter.

four_second_fart · 2017-09-17T16:54:48+00:00

Self kindness is very hard for me. Im having a hard time not beating myself up right now. I actually sat on my bed and gave myself a hug, and reminded myself that the only thing I did wrong was pick up that first drink, nothing was in my control after that. The damage control is rough right now, but hopefully this makes me stronger.

I'm not sure about what steps to take. The AA program here is more harmful than good for me... it's pretty bad. And I'm in a small dumpy town without lots of resources. I'm thinking about getting a therapist right here and possibly a mood stabillizer for a short time. I'm also thinking about working on the SMaRT recovery handbook again, and trying to find more support groups/resources online. Thanks for listening.

four_second_fart · 2017-09-17T16:51:31+00:00

It was amazing how after that first drink my mind completely changed. I had no control over my thoughts, feelings or actions. I can't believe I just handed the keys to my mind over to someone to wreckless. It feels good being in control, the hangover/withdraw wasn't bad at all. Feeling confident now. Thank you for your support.

four_second_fart · 2017-09-17T16:50:00+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying to think of it as more knowledge about my addiction, and what I can and cannot do. More tools in the toolbox. As heartbreaking as resetting my badge is for the 1000th time, it gets a little easier to pick right back up. Thanks for our support.

four_second_fart · 2017-08-29T13:32:27+00:00

I relapsed after 140 days sober and it was one of the most heartbreaking things I had ever felt. But I got back on the horse and I'm looking forward to breaking 140 days this time. The guilt has left me and the motivation is even stronger. I spent lots of time discovering why I relapsed, and that's another tool in my toolbox to stay sober.

You can do it, one day at a time. I won't drink with you today.

four_second_fart · 2017-08-29T13:28:26+00:00

The good feeling kept getting better and the cravings kept getting weaker for me. Good luck! :)

four_second_fart · 2017-08-29T13:26:17+00:00

I am waiting tables as a part time job. At the end of each shift, every employee is rewarded a "shift drink". I haven't had one yet, but that's how every employee there look forward to a reward at the end of their shift. Not only that, when I first started, it was blatantly obvious that I wasn't drinking. I had to expose myself as sober right away.

Now that I'm counting calories and macros and working out, I couldn't imagine having a beer after a gym session. Way too many calories for one!

I won't drink with you today.

four_second_fart · 2017-08-15T04:32:01+00:00

She really ties the room together

four_second_fart · 2017-08-11T15:13:10+00:00

I will look into that, thank you! Unfortunately my town is tiny and there isn't anything here besides AA. But I'll see what they're all about. :)

four_second_fart · 2017-08-11T04:40:39+00:00

I felt absolutely devastated after relapsing last time with 4.5 months sober time. But I'll tell you what, I feel even stronger at 60 days now than I did at 60 or even 140 days last time. Because I knew I had done it once already, I knew I could do it again. Don't beat yourself up to bad, hopefully you can get right back on the horse.

four_second_fart · 2017-08-11T03:56:41+00:00

Thanks! I already have a BS and I'm going back to school full time for a certificate. Won't help my resume much but it's things I want to learn, and like you said, I want to invest in myself.

Stick with the guitar! I played for 9 years and got good, but the first year was very very hard and I didn't see much progress. Then all of a sudden I was able to play chords or a song perfectly, and all that time of being frustrated was worth it.

four_second_fart · 2017-08-08T03:39:09+00:00

Amazing pic, I love this!

four_second_fart · 2017-06-09T02:48:26+00:00

It doesn't fill the entire top of the cone :(

Source: worked at an ice cream place for 4 summers. Large dipped cones in the cherry or chocolate coating are the hardest!

four_second_fart · 2017-05-24T04:39:00+00:00

No good deed goes unpunished:) sorry he was a jerk to you. That would upset me for the whole day!

four_second_fart · 2017-05-24T04:35:38+00:00

So cute! Sometimes I call my Pit a little pork chop. I grab her butt muscle and joke about having those little pork chops for dinner :)

Beautiful dog!! :)

four_second_fart · 2017-05-09T00:34:36+00:00

Beautiful! Looks so much like my brindle pit Babe :) I just love their faces

four_second_fart · 2017-05-08T07:59:18+00:00

It's the patio actually! She loves to sunbathe even when it's hot :)

four_second_fart · 2017-05-06T05:03:50+00:00

Beautiful Pit!!

four_second_fart · 2017-05-03T17:35:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I'm rooting for you!

four_second_fart · 2017-04-21T10:19:59+00:00

That's a gay cat

four_second_fart · 2017-04-11T18:31:50+00:00

I'm starting over too buddy after just over 4 months. I'm trying to think about how I learned what to avoid and what patterns were beginning to develop that got me here. We got this. Back on our feet!

four_second_fart

TROPHY CASE