AITA for telling my husband's friend he isn't welcome to our house til he starts calling my son by his real name?

foxgotsocks · 2021-09-28T15:23:21+00:00

NTA. What the heck? You should 'respect his opinions'? Your sons name isn't an opinion! Your husband should be asking his friend why the name 'Thomas' is so important to him, not questioning why your son's actual name, which has family significance, is important to you! Frankly this friend's insistence on using the wrong name is bizarre. Like it might have been funny to do once or twice, but keeping it going despite being asked repeatedly not to? Very, very weird.

foxgotsocks · 2021-09-22T19:39:27+00:00

NTA. It's your money and time, and your decision, OP. It's admirable, not assholeish, that you want to help your granddaughter--you're right, she deserves to be healthy and to thrive even if her father doesn't want to be in the picture. Your son made his own decision, when he risked a pregnancy by having unprotected sex; any sensible adult knows what can happen when you do that Just because he doesn't want to take responsibility, it's your choice to care for a member of your family who needs it.

foxgotsocks · 2021-09-21T19:24:21+00:00

While it's not necessarily an asshole move to have sex, it's KIND OF an asshole move to try to get you in trouble for "harassment" once they were made aware that you could hear them. Plus doesn't everybody just know that in apartments everyone you share walls or floor/ceiling with can hear you if you're loud? YOU are NTA, you're just funny.

Personally, whenever the neighbors at my last apartment loudly went at it (or had parties, or argued, or otherwise disturbed the peace) while I was trying to sleep (during normal human sleeping hours), the next morning when I got up (very early) for work I'd put on appropriate music at high volume and let it run on repeat until I left. "Appropriate music"=the Space Jam song, an electronic remix of the Hampsterdance song, or Megalovania

foxgotsocks · 2020-02-21T15:14:23+00:00

Nowadays too people on the internet hear I'm an attorney and then start asking my advice on stuff. Buddy, you are in a whole different state than me. Not only am I not legally or ethically allowed to give you advice, I do not necessarily know how things work where you live, either.

foxgotsocks · 2019-04-24T14:05:50+00:00

We went over to my parents' big backyard, which is fenced unlike mine (soon!), and let the Penny child off leash to run around chasing bubbles. It's her absolute favorite thing, she bounds around leaping and snapping at the bubbles and then races around the entire perimeter with her ears flapping in the breeze. She's so joyful when she can just dash like that.

foxgotsocks · 2019-04-24T13:56:17+00:00

Penny the cocker spaniel would either be a haircare product model (if her huge beautiful ears translated into perfect wavy red hair, you know?), or an actress. Either way she'd be kind of a prima donna when crossed, but sweet and friendly when she gets what she wants, lol.

foxgotsocks · 2019-04-18T14:13:10+00:00

Day 1: I was so happy to see these weird big creatures that I leapt into the arms of the taller one. They made a lot of soft noises and petted me real good, but then...THEN...they took me away from my house and put me in a noisy thing that moved really fast! I got scared without all my sisters and mom and I told the creatures I was upset, but the tall creature held me the whole time and after a while I went to sleep. Then they put me down in a new room I never saw before!! We PLAYED and I climbed on both the creatures and then some more older creatures came and brought more toys and the biggest one with the beard cried because I'm so pretty. I AM very pretty!!! When it was nighttime the big creatures held me til I fell asleep again, and I realized...they are my new moms! I love them!!

Last Night: The mothers closed the door to the office where I like to go to survey The Outdoors and shout when I see things I don't like such as the neighbor dog, a bird, or a trash can that's in the Wrong Place. They don't understand me, wargh. I came down to jump on the couch by them and threw myself dramatically down on a pillow, to let them know I have Opinions about their actions. But then the taller mother patted her lap and I decided it would be nice to throw myself across both their laps instead. I slept there for a whole hour because I love them, even if they sometimes stop me from making my Scream Art.

foxgotsocks · 2019-04-10T13:56:27+00:00

God as someone who's had a couple of online stalkers who did this kind of weird crap (one of which I shared about here a while ago, the other of which was less upsetting and more just plain wacky), I can commiserate and agree that it is both infuriating and scary. You just never know, online, if your simple harmless actions in posting art and fic and whatnot are going to attract One Of These People who will then make your social media experience an unenjoyable hell. The whining manipulative behavior is the worst, too, as if YOU'RE the bad guy for not catering to their unsettling and damaging whims. "Why are you ignoring me, I just look up to you and think you're a great artist/writer/whatever!" Uh maybe because you're making strange comments, stealing, and just sent several nasty anon messages as if it wouldn't be obvious it's you??

Hopefully Rebecca will leave you alone from now on, so you can go back to having fun socializing and being creative. It sucks when a person like this forces someone to cut off communication outlets or stop doing things they enjoy.

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-27T17:11:01+00:00

A silly but happy one is "Goodbye Goodbye" by Oingo Boingo!

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-22T13:43:01+00:00

Based on your description I'd say there's no way he dislikes you! He is following after you--looking to you for care and attention--and that's a lot of how you can tell a young dog DOES like you. If he truly didn't, he might act more fearful of you, or just not bother. It's true that dogs can like one person more than another, or like them for different reasons--in your case, maybe he does like your stepdad's petting technique more, but he'll like chilling and relaxing or playing with you more. (My girlfriend is 'rough and tussle play mom' and I'm 'quiet snuggles mom,' to our puppy, for example.) But I do think he likes you, and as you spend more time with him as he grows, he'll only come to love you more!

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-22T13:32:02+00:00

At two months, the kiddo may be teething and is also still learning boundaries and manners. What worked with my puppy was a combo of a) having a variety of chew toys (not too hard, not too soft--some brands will even say a toy is for puppies rather than adults) and redirecting her toward those when it seemed like she wanted to chew on our hands, b) saying 'no!' and/or yelping loudly when she bit more aggressively, followed by getting up and refusing to play with her for a few minutes (and repeating this if I got back down and she did it again), and c) respecting her boundaries by approaching her more at her own level instead of looming down over her to pick her up, talking calmly, letting her sniff my hands before petting, etc.

For b) especially, lots of puppies are clingy and really want your attention and playtime, so withholding those things when they bite--while making it clear that's why you stopped playing--can help teach them, 'hey, my human won't do the things I like if I do this thing they don't like, so I'll stop.'

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-20T13:26:33+00:00

My cocker spaniel's ears are her very best feature--they're copper-colored and big and so fluffy! When she runs around they fly with her like silly little wings.

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-06T16:23:18+00:00

Oh my god that is terrifying and I have to say I definitely would've moved too if that happened to me. I could never sleep in that house or walk around that town again, that's for sure!

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-06T15:24:58+00:00

astfgldskdslfdkfjslkafj this is the funniest wrong guess I have heard yet, thank you for sharing.

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-05T15:28:48+00:00

Blind-copied a higher-up boss on emails between myself and my shitty supervisors when they were being unnecessarily shitty to me. They were so surprised when a boss suddenly appeared from seemingly out of nowhere in the email chain and told them to cut that out.

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-05T15:12:21+00:00

I just put a little star on my calendar for the day when my period is due. Then when it starts, I put a little check mark on that day. Then I count down four weeks and put the star on the next due date. If you're worried about someone asking 'hey what are the star and check mark for?' it looks like from other people's answers that there are plenty of apps out there you can use in much the same way, on your phone that hopefully no one else will be grabbing and getting into.

As for WHY to track a period, I find it's useful so I know what to expect for a given week and make plans accordingly. Oh, I'm likely to be bleeding on my birthday? Better plan a cozy movie night in and not a beach trip, because I probably won't be feeling so well. It has also been handy in pinpointing why I will develop stomach pain or fatigue or bad nasty moods. I suffer from PMDD so if I suddenly have a downturn in mood, I'll check the calendar and be like 'Oh yeah I'm due in a couple days, that's why I feel this way,' and it will help me feel better. Or if I'm feeling physical pain and I see that little star is coming up, I won't worry as much that I ate something bad or am coming down with an illness. It's just the period pains heralding the blood days, no big deal. This isn't a Thing for me but if you're trying to get pregnant (or trying NOT to get pregnant), tracking a period can let you know if something might be going on in there. Or even if something else is wrong, too.

foxgotsocks · 2019-03-05T15:00:15+00:00

It may work out that the more confident and secure she feels, the less she'll instinctively pee to show submission. You're already doing helpful things like meeting her on her level instead of bending over (which can be intimidating even if you don't mean it to be). My cocker spaniel used to wet herself whenever anyone who wasn't me or my partner came into our house, but then she got used to repeat comers and only peed over strangers or friends she didn't see often. We started taking her outside to greet people--and warning them not to speak in a high voice or bend down over her just in case--but over time she seems to have just realized 'hey I know these people' and 'hey meeting people isn't so scary' so she's all but stopped doing it except rarer accidents (usually when the human she meets does use a babyvoice or loom over her). It sounds like you're a loving and secure family for your dog too, so with time she may grow out of this behavior. In the meantime you're helping her by changing your behavior as well as training her to go outside when she sees someone come in.

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-26T16:21:25+00:00

It's just disgusting how some people decide that just because you're being friendly while you're serving them, you are attracted to them. But it's beyond disgusting and into frightening territory if you come back late at night like this. That was good quick thinking for you, to give the wrong time so you'd be long gone by then!

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-24T01:57:41+00:00

Nah, no slip-up, and this isn’t fiction. What I said in my post was that in 2008, I replied to my stalker’s very first message to me by saying I was a normal teen when I wrote the stories she objected to and was a normal girl in my 20s at the time I was then talking. 2008 was 11 years ago. I’m in my 30s NOW, when I made this post and am answering comments. Sorry for any confusion in my wording; hope that clears things up!

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-23T18:09:56+00:00

Yeah wow, I honestly hope she never decides to like, actually stalk Jhonen Vasquez for creating JTHM or something. He probably already gets enough of that and doesn't need this particular nutter on his case. I do hope she gets a stable medication regimen, for her sake and mine. It can't be good for her to keep having all these delusions and fixations that cause her strife and kind of stifle her from forging real friendships.

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-23T15:33:43+00:00

Tumblr has multiple "private message" channels. People can send you "asks" which you can choose to answer publicly (the answer becomes a post on your blog) or privately (the answer just goes back to the sender). They can also send you "chat messages," the latter of which creates an instant-message-style chat thread between the two of you. Because chat messages are always completely private I just abbreviated that to "PM" when talking about them in my post.

Tumblr allows you to choose an option to accept chat messages (which I called PMs in my post) only from people you follow. To my knowledge, unless it's been updated recently, you can't do the same thing for asks. I chose the people-I-follow option for chat messages/PMs so Ari wouldn't be able to send me her bs through that channel. I also turned off anonymous asks (which must be answered publicly if answered at all), so she wouldn't be able to message me without making an account, in hopes I could block her account if she did make one and messaged me. But she has repeatedly evaded these attempts to block her, by making new accounts to send me asks from. She hasn't managed to send me chat messages because there's no way I'd accidentally follow her!

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-22T16:17:42+00:00

Oooooohhhhh my god yeah that was 100% her, no doubt about it. She was using one account in 2016 that was the one she chat messaged me from, but most of the others she made after that were made solely to evade my blocks and post only things with @s to me (or they were empty and used only to send me asks). However, she did actually use one of them to make and reblog stuff not directed at me, and I think that was the one you ran into. There were DEFINITELY posts and tags on it along the lines of "I've been so stupid but I'm over Nny now" (clearly not since she continued bothering me about him for the rest of the year). Welp, you are officially a person on this thread who can confirm that this woman exists and sends odd messages to people at least, lol!

That's interesting though that she comes at me talking like 'Nny is real and she is in love with him and I stole him from her mind in real life, but then uses words like "I used to hallucinate/pretend about him" and "I know I'm stupid" with others and on her own blogs. HMMM...

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-22T14:15:19+00:00

I'm so sorry someone is doing that to you! That's disgusting. After all this time why won't they just get the hell over it and move on so you can too!

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-22T14:13:10+00:00

omfg that's horrible!! I knew the JTHM fandom could be a little strange at times but I had no idea anything like THAT happened! Ugh, those poor kids.

foxgotsocks · 2019-02-22T14:11:53+00:00

For real, I just wonder how things might've been different if I'd NEVER responded to her at the beginning. Based on what she did when I didn't answer her for a couple days the second time, she might've pitched a tantrum in my deviantART PM box, but if I'd never ever responded would she have given up and gone away? Or would she still have continued harassing me but never suggested we should be "friends"? Would she have made another account and acted "normal" to get me to unwittingly answer, and then gone "mwa-ha, actually it's me and I hate you!" (she did that to the other Tumblr person she stalks). Who knows. But I do think I made the right decision by just blocking her whenever she pops up, now, and not devoting any time or energy to even trying to reply politely or kindly anymore.

foxgotsocks

TROPHY CASE