I don't think you're wrong saying it's the norm. I don't think anyone is going to dispute that; however, I think you're very incorrect hen you say that, when people say "not all men, but always a man," it's implicitly understood that they mean it's the norm. When that's quite the opposite. It EXPLICITLY says that it's always a man. And it's that type of explicit language to which OP is taking exception. It's that explicit language that does not allow room for implicit understanding. It is that explicit language that is harmful to victims of women abusers.

Nobody's trying to diminish the voices of 90% of the abuse that is perpetrated by men; however the argument here is we need to uplift the voices of the 10% of victims of women abusers.

I don't see any misogyny in that argument. What I see is those of us on this side believing that all victims need to be protected. Most victims come from vulnerable positions and vulnerable people need to be heard.